Fuck 'Em

me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

Well, that sucks.

i wonder how many slices of pizza i’ve eaten over the course of my lifetime

Mean Tweets – Oscars Edition

Personal growth becomes so addictive once you realize that it’s always possible to improve your experience of being.

This is the FOURTH time the apartment across the hall has blasted Mr. Brightside. What are they doing

Just fine.

I love using “my guy” and “my dude” and “kiddos” and “friend” for everything because there’s so much affection yet an unbelievable amount of sarcasm and that pretty much describes my personality

Oh my god, the amount of positive feedback I would get from looking pretty and putting on a nice dress and smiling nicely and doing all of that was enormous versus the affirmation I would get for studying for months and reading something interesting and talking about it. That would barely get a side glance.

me, with someone I have no interest in: lighthearted witty banter, often perceived by others as flirting.

me, with someone I’m interested in/actually trying to flirt with: