Warlock with a pistol as their arcane focus. The gun doesn’t function but gives some sick imagery of firing eldritch blast from it.

I guess you can say they’re warlocked and loaded.

being an adult and buying your own shit is so weird i don't understand why anything is priced the way it is. why did my tattoo cost 8 toothpastes? why does a pair of socks cost a sandwich but a fancy dinner costs a whole jacket? why is book the same cost as 2 bag frozen vegetables? nothing makes sense i just wanna steal.

kidz bop cask of amontillado

none of this would have happened if we still had him

this happened because y’all voted mop, wretched tooth would’ve never treated us like this

we know plankton and krabs have been playing poker together for 15 years

we also know this episode aired before the episode where pearl turned 16

while the non-continuity & non-chronological order of the series means that assuming that pearl was 15 in welcome to the chum bucket is a fool’s gamble - it’s reasonable enough that if there is an episode about her turning 16, her character was likely conceptualized as being 15 years old prior to that point. but either she was 15 or she was 16 in welcome to the chum bucket … and either way, that’s about as long as pearl’s been alive.

we also know that pearl is krabs’ biological daughter … through a combination of facts … and were given reason to believe that something happened to the mother of his child shortly after pearl’s birth that made him depressed. she’s not around anymore and no longer apart of their lives in any way shape or form.

we also know plankton and krabs were childhood best friends, going on to have an on-again-off-again friendship for years prior to spongebob getting a job at the krusty krab … and the two are shown to occasionally have moments where they truly, genuinely care about each other deep down, despite the rivalry …

conclusion: plankton might have started playing poker with krabs to cheer him up after the death of his wife

oh thank god i thought you were going to say plankton was pearls mom

the line between elf surnames and warrior cat names is but a single thread

Shirts are crazy, your body goes in 1 hole and out 3

excuse me

listen, I’m not the biggest fan of kids but if a child looks at me then you bet I’m gonna smile back at them. kids deserve to experience the world as a kind and safe place to explore okay.

We have an update 

there’s more!

Pieter Hanson’s original tweet 

donate to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

donate to Make-A-Wish

Force people to look at your cats and suggest they donate to charity: This guy is using his 15 minutes correctly

I’m making bread

bread boys

my sons!

THEY’RE DELICIOUS

frog bread was tagged explicit. reblog the forbidden frog bread for luck and power

my last two brain cells preparing a Depression Meal

the reason why people are so hard to read is because they are composed of the letters a, t, c, and g in random sequences and as im sure you know, that doesn’t spell anything