Random Blog

better buy a bicycle

One of my favorite vines tbh

This is how insurance really be tho

FEELING LIKE YOU ANNOY THE ONLY PERSON YOU WANT TO TALK TO SUCKS

hello friends britney is here

goodbye friends britney is gone

Stay gone

whatd u say bitch

all this week has been “senior week” at my school only it has been unofficial and was completely orchestrated by the students without permission from administration and each day has had a theme so yesterday was “tourist tuesday” and every senior student dressed up in typical “tourist” outfits like hawaiian shirts and socks with sandals and fanny packs and sunglasses and all that and the administration thought it was funny until they started a “tour group” so the entire senior class didnt attend class at all and wandered the campus as a group with a “tour guide” pointing out and explaining random things to the entire group but it all went downhill when the tour group walked into a classroom and as the guide was giving the group a fake tour of the class one of the kids pointed to a widely hated teacher and asked the tour guide “what animal is that?” and thats the story of how my school issued 84 detentions in one day

One of my friends asked me the other day if I would suck one thousand dicks for a billion dollars, and I love questions like that because not only are they so demonstrative of the no-homo society we live in, but they also show a fundamental lack of understanding that some people have for the value of money. Like, do you realize just how much money one billion dollars is? Do you realize I could live my life in the lap of luxury buying literally everything I could ever want and still have a fortune to leave to my children?? For sucking some dicks?? We are talking 1 million dollars per dick sucked!! That’s just economical like come on man.

1 billion dollars and all you’d have to do is suck a dick every day for the next 2.7 years. That’s it. Plenty of people already do that. You could quit your job and literally suck dick for a living. You could suck two dicks a day and only have to suck dick for 1.4 years. You could suck 5 dicks a day for about 6 months. 5 DICKS A DAY FOR 6 MONTHS FOR A BILLION DOLLARS, OF COURSE I’LL FUCKIN DO THAT. THAT’S THE DREAM, THAT’S FUCKIN HEAVEN.

And I’m over here doin’ it for free like a fucking asshole.

fuck i have been underselling my services by about one million dollars per blowjob.

1.this is dedicated to the fandom

2.im sorry

NEVER FORGET

have you ever loved a lyric so much that when you hear it feels like your heart is trying to burst out of your body

this year was really hard … I’m tired

Oscar Wilde (via awkwarddly)

why do people fuck with other people’s feelings

its not ok

its not right

this bothers me so fucking much holy shit

why get someone’s hopes up and then bam u leave

stop treating good people like they’re a piece of shit.

Me too

a concept: we are driving down the freeeway. it is raining outside and the windshield wipers are on. i am half asleep in the passenger seat watching you, a huge blanket pulled over my shoulders. soft music plays on the radio. i close my eyes and am at peace.

my essay isn’t done but i sure am

LITTLE COOKIES!

OH MY GOODNESS