• “It’s been awhile.”
• “I can explain.”
• “You’re supposed to be dead.”
• “How did you get here?”
• “Please don’t leave me again.”
• “I need you to tell me the truth about where you’ve been.”
• “I never thought I’d see you again.”
• “I’m so glad I’ve finally found you!”
• “Whatever rock you crawled out from under, you should crawl back.  Now!”
• “Well, look what the cat dragged in!”
• “I never thought I’d be so happy to see you.”
• “Do you remember me at all?”
• “Why didn’t you let me know you were okay?”
• “Well, fancy seeing you again!”
• “I never stopped looking for you.”
• “What are you doing here?”
• “I know you said you never wanted to see me again, but - ”
• “Please don’t pretend like you don’t know me!’
• “How dare you show your face around here!”
• “What are you doing in a place like this?”
• “You haven’t changed one bit.”
• “Why did you just walk away like that?”
• “Did you even stop to think about what your disappearance would do to me?”
• “I know, I know - I’m supposed to be dead.”
• “It’s a long story.”
• “I-I’m sorry I left without saying anything.”
• “I’m sorry I never contacted you.”
• “Do - I know you?”
• “Please don’t ask where I’ve been.”
• “Miss me?”
• “Please don’t let this be a dream.”
• “How long have you been here?”
• “Did you ever even try to look for me?”
• “You said you’d never come back here!”
• “Thank god I finally found you!”

“ i am literally going to fight everyone right now. “ “ wrap yourself in a condom of safety. “ “ watch out for aliens and lions. they run rampant in public bathrooms. “ “ shots fired from the d. “ “ you literally sicken me. if there was someone who sickens me, it’s you. you make me sick. get away from me you cretin. “ “ i am the saltine cracker of love. “ “ he showed me a dead bird, and i got sad so i wanted you to see the dead bird too. “ “ you fucking crying bro? you being a nerd– oh you’re not. okay. false alarm. “ “ i am a burrito filled with anxiety. “ “ drive me to throw rocks at the sun. “ “ how do you feel about sea lions? “ “ duuuuude, what do you think it would be like to be a cactus. “ “ what the fuck is math? take it away. “ “ i am allergic to you specifically. “ “ it’s broken? well poke a lot of eye holes in the curtain and we can just stare at the audience screaming for like three hours. we’ll call it live art. “ “ get the fuck away from me you, extra long tadpole. “ “ you’re what a flat tire would act like if it were a person. “ “ we can be pirates! “ “ sorry, i can’t do that. i’m busy being an opium pirate. “ “ marry me for the tax benefits, bro. “ “ oh no. everyone stop what they are doing. get the camera. i’m going to reproduce asexually. my spawn is budding off of me. capture the birth. “ “ i have been to the nurse six times in five days, fight me. “ “ towels make me uncomfortable. it’s like rubbing carpet on your body. “ “ do these pomegranate seeds smell like bourbon to you? “