heart of steel

“I’ll miss you too–” she replied softly, wrapping her arms around Ava as she blinked back tears. “You have our details in Three, call me please?” she replied softly, before she smiled a little. “And we’ll come see you before we leave again after the Games, if that’s okay?”

She nodded, pulling away. “Of course I will. I’ll call as often as I can. And of course you can come by. Nova’ll be happy to see you,” she told Belle. She would always make time for Belle, and she knew she would need it. She smiled a little bit. “I left the rest of my work behind with another stylist. So at least you’ll have an Ava De Champ outfit for the Mentor’s Ball.”

“He is alive.” her voice was quivering now staring Avalon in the eyes: “I could feel it if he wasn’t. he is alive.” She repeated herself speaking more to herself than to Avalon. “Well then it’s going to be different. But he is still going to be beacon. beneath whatever the capitol will do to him he will still be my brother, your husband, Rhian’s dad. he will still be Beacon.” Iris was close to desperation narrowing her eyes at her best friend: “but you will be able to get to another point. You just have to believe in him.”

“I hope you’re right, Iris. I really hope you are,” she said, feeling tired with everything. She sat down on a stool. She thought about River and about Stone, one man she knew better than the other and she shook her head. That was the last thing she wanted for Beacon, to have been tortured and brainwashed by the Capitol. Those were scars that might never heal. “Maybe,” she said. She pursed her lips together. “I’m just tired, ok? All I can think about is the worst possibilities. He’s dead, or he’s brainwashed and I don’t want either option, for you, for your parents, for our children. But it’s what I have to accept to keep myself from being driven crazy.”

“No, no, no! You do not get to think like this. he is going to come back!” iris exclaimed taking a tiny step back and furrowed her eyes: “Because- becuse he is my brother. And he loves you. And he is going to make sure that he comes back sooner or later! It’s only been eight month.” Iris swallowed hard pressing Rhian a little closer to her- “Well then I am going to have hope enough for the both of us.” iris replied firmly her throat tight barely leaving her space to breath. 

“Is he, though? Nobody can tell us where he is, if he’s even alive,” she asked. Her voice was raising slightly, not because she was mad at Iris, but she was mad at the Capitol and at herself. “And if he does come back, is he going to be the same man as when he disappeared? Because I guarantee things are going to be different. He’s going to be different!” She gripped the table beside her. “Who knows what he is going through, if the Capitol has even kept him alive. He could very well be dead right now, and you know what? That’s on me!” She could see Rhian squirming in her aunt’s arms and she lowered her voice, so she wouldn’t scare her daughter. “We won’t be able to get back to the place that we were in last year.”

“Hey!hey! No don’t cry!” Iris whispered gently wrping her arms around Avalon succesfully squishing her and rhian in her arms. “It’s alright. Nova needs you as well. Alright? We’ll get through it. he is going to come back. I just know that he will, alright? he is going to.” Her voice was firm hiding the doubts she carried deep in herself. They had no say in this, the only people that did was the capitol. “I’m alright i mean he is my big Bro. i have to believe in him. he is going to come back.”

Ava leaned into he hug, feeling a little better. Rhian squealed slightly, but she seemed to enjoy the moment as well. “I don’t think he is, Iris. I just...it’s been almost eight months,” she admitted. She pulled away, rubbing her head. “Nova’s father got taken away from me by Peacekeepers and I haven’t seen him since. I just feel like this is happening all over again.” Her fear was definitely taking over, but she felt like she had to accept the worst. “I’m glad you have hope, because I think I’ve lost it.” For her, it felt like relationships were a bust and she just had bad luck. 

She nodded a little, despite her differences with her mother she still admired the woman for continuing on with the amount of kids they had. Even through the loss of four of them, her mother had still remained stoic albeit lashing out at Isabelle in private. As she listened quietly to Ava speak, her eyes drifting to the kids playing before they returned to her friend. She nodded again, silent for a moment. “I can’t pretend to be happy you’ll be going home, I’ll miss you like crazy. But I get it, you need to be with your family.” she replied finally, somehow feeling like it was the end of an era standing there realising Ava was leaving. 

She had been a little worried about what Belle would say about her leaving, but she knew that Belle knew this was the best move. “I really wish things were different,” she murmured. Her eyes landed on the twins and Rhian, who seemed so unaware of the tragedies around them. They were lucky in that way. “But it really is time to focus on family. I’m going to miss you so much, you know.” She couldn’t help herself as she moved in, wrapping her arms around Belle in a hug. 

“well hello there buttercup.” iris smiled weakly picking her up. rhian was obviously the least affected by her father’s disappearance which was good actually. it was good to know that ava had someone around her that was happy and positive. iris tickled her belly a little making the squirm a little in her arms:“aunty iris.” she groaned though the giggles made it hard for her to talk. Iris smile dropped a little aa she watched her. It was hard to not to think of bea when all she could see jn rhian was his face. “it’s alright ava. it a good thing you are going home - really.” iris smile softened into a more natural one looking. ahe was truly glad that their relationship got better now. it was a t that moment when her best friend really needed someone. “nobody is going to judge you arw anything. they will all understand it.”

She chuckled a little, “I don’t know how my parents did it, or why. But I mean I spent my whole early years before the Gabe and Fred came along trying to outdo my older brothers and it caused so much trouble.” She replied, before studying Ava quietly, “You coping okay?”

Marley and Gabe both giggled with excitement, Gabe already dictating in his usual manner what they should play, tapping Marley on the head and running - chase obvious a favourite since Electra had taught him that it was apparently sooo much fun. Hazel smiled in response to Ava, Belle laughing a little as she watched her friend and her daughter together. “Yeah Forrest is usually the one on the receiving end, I grew up in a house that was mad I’m used to ducking and dodging.” She replied with a smile.

“it’s quiet alright.” iris replied feeling a little guilty to have avoided Avalon up to this time in the games, She had tried to put the thought away by pretending to have to do work and stuffing herself with it. Now though with everything done she hadn’t found another excuse to avoid her best friend. Iris didn’t really now how to handle her at the moment. it was weird. The pain wasn’t immediate anymore, but it was still there lying under all the ways one could distract oneself with. 

iris leaned against a doorframe eyes focused onto the two. he would be happy to see them like. this. It was incredibly unfair. beacon had deserved this family and so did Avalon. it wasn’t fair of the capitol to take him and break them all apart. “Nova called me. She said you wanted to go home.”

Iris. It really was good to see her, but all Ava could feel was guilt when she looked at her. Things were just really difficult and she knew she had been avoiding Iris just as much. Beacon’s disappearance had put a damper on their relationship and she didn’t like it one bit. Rhian got off of the couch. “Auntie Iris!” she cried out, her tiny arms flailing as she ran and hugged her aunt’s leg. The two year old was extremely happy to see her aunt, but mostly because she hadn’t seen much of her in a while. “Yeah,” she said, sighing. She figured her daughter would do that. Nova was trying to help keep this family together, which was a lot for a sixteen year old.  “I just don’t have my heart in the Games, you know? District 3 needs a stylist who is committed to them,” she explained cautiously. “And I miss spending time with Nova. She’s been my rock through all of this, and our relationship is getting to a better place lately...” she trailed off, knowing how it sounded. Almost as if Beacon’s disappearance was making her relationship with Nova better. 

The twins had needed to let of some much needed steam and she couldn’t find Glitter, her mind immediately moving to Ava and her little one, the twins both adoring Rhian. As they entered the studio, Gabe and Marley both began towards the couch, “RHI!” demanded Gabriel as Marley followed behind him. However, Belle was too absorbed in placing Hazel asleep in her carrier on an empty counter she hadn’t noticed the paint. “It’s all good–” she muttered, “I’ve had worse, they–” she pointed to her children, “Can get into the fridge, I’m usually covered in the contents of it.”

Ava was more than happy to see one of her closest friends here. Rhian looked up, giggling as she saw Marley and Gabe. “Twins!” Rhian shrieked out as she got off the couch. Ava couldn’t help but laugh. Rhian was still having some difficultly with calling the twins by their name, particularly Gabe’s, so she usually just called them both twins when they were together. Ava moved so the three could be together, and she moved her way over to Belle and Hazel. She hadn’t quite gotten around to telling anyone about her leaving tomorrow.  In all honesty, she had been so busy with settling her things and  giving her work to other stylists who could fill in for her. “Ah, well Rhian is almost getting to that point. She’s starting to be able to reach the cabinet drawers so my eyes are constantly on her,” she said. She smiled at Hazel, making a funny face at her.

The thirty four year old did not expect a phone call from her daughter so late at night. Ava had already put Rhian to bed and had been sketching in her chair when her phone rang. Immediate panic rose as she looked at the time. Past eleven. Who could it be? Seeing her daughter’s face pop up on the other side of the phone made her stomach churn. 

“Nova, are you alright?” she asked, the first thing she could even say. There was a pause on the other side of the phone, eliciting several thoughts from Ava. Was her daughter ok? Was she hurt? Was it not actually Nova on the phone, but her parents? 

She smiled a little as she listened to Ava explain who Cleo was, nodding a little in response before returning her attention back to Rhian. “So this is Cleo? She’s very beautiful.”

hearing a person shout he dropped the organ, and approached them. “What are you doing here? What do you want?” 

“So sorry. My daughter just...she just wandered in. I was just getting her,” she apologized as she picked Rhian up. 

“Hi-” Cress smiled, walking into the room, “I’m not interrupting, am I?”

Ava shook her head at Cress. “Of course not,” she said as Rhian went back to her colouring. “She’s just working on a drawing and I’m just working on some Interview outfit ideas.”