moving all tumblr activity to @lakemarkham in approx 10min

follow me there. want to cut the cord to my high school shit

memes currently serve as the conclusive realm of discourse: they are the one social space within which contemporary people can comprehend meaning, subvert old meaning, or synthesize new meaning, based upon a common framework of contextual understanding, related--but not limited--to the synthesis of an internet culture of the virtual world, and a political culture of the real world. this claim can be evidenced by the continuous and exponential creation of new memes, memes which build upon old memes, and which refer to objects no more real than previous memes.

memes, as virtually reified objects, are representative of a new and horrible condition, one that is arrived at through a synthesis of 1. the authoritative power of mass media, 2. the democratic power of the network, and 3. the absolute lack of power otherwise controlled by those who deploy the memes. in other words, memes have become the absolute democratization of power for those who have no other voice in the internet age.

this democratic power is clearly manifest in memes' wholly liquid nature; memes are a currency valuable in any market, at any exchange rate. the meme--and consequently, its voice--is in itself a unique synthesis of politics, aesthetics, and rhetoric. this synthetic union allows for discourse among those who would otherwise occupy no space together in which to engage in discussion, as memes forge a bond between those who recognize the particular nuances (and appreciate the general thematic developments) of internet culture. in this way, memes transcend all political categories found in the real world.

simultaneously, however, the meme is an expression of bias, and shows us why a perfect democracy will never occur in static form: the entirely liquid and irreducibly democratic power of the meme could never allow its community to arrive at consensus, as memes are literally the repetition of a repetition, "an idea, behavior, style, or usage that spreads from person to person within a culture". (webster's) the very nature of memes demands the propagation of new memes.

memes demonstrate that, as long as there is a democratic world--virtual or real--and that democratic world has subcultures, and those subcultures are made of people, we will never be happy.

things i did today before i went to work

i woke up this morning feeling really...weird

i looked up at the ceiling for a little while

i made some peanut butter toast twice

i looked down at the floor for a little while

i noticed the way it came through between my feet

i lay in my bed again for a little while

i just kind of lay there & thought about people in my life

i looked up at the ceiling for a little while

i fell asleep again

parents are like robots that are always disappointed

why are you doing that you shouldn’t do that you should do this i’m not going to make you i’m just going to tell you to do something you’re not doing a lot of times until you do that thing then i’m going to say you should really still be doing the other thing too not like you're doing it now though so don't keep doing it do you know how much i love you i just want you to be happy you go to your room a lot that's all i'm saying you don’t do your homework and your gpa is okay you probably have a blog it’s okay but you could do better your blog and your gpa my friend from work follows your blog with a fake account i read your twitter once i don’t remember when your tweets are pretty funny but they’re not “happy funny” i just want you to be happy

do you know what the boy on the 30th floor has for a gpa a “4-0”, but yours is okay you could do better though you’re really smart when you want to be only in those times though remember that time things were really bad for me i worked really hard you don’t have to have a "4-0" to make me happy you should have whatever you want i just want you to be happy

why are you doing this to yourself don’t do things you don't want to do you think i don't like what i do i'm really happy just do what makes you happy you should find things to do do you remember when you did that other thing you used to do you don’t do that anymore you used to be happy i just want you to be happy

i sent you a message today saying i wanted to punch that stupid cat from garfield in the face really hard i was walking down the street and a light rain was touching me on top of me somebody on the other side of the street was waiting for the light to turn green they were looking at me and i wanted to tell them stop like the light was doing in my head i was pointing at them saying i wanted to punch them in the face really hard when we crossed i didn’t do anything their shirt had that stupid cat from garfield on it it said i hate mondays i sent you a message today that said that too but i was being ironic mondays are really average i felt bad because they probably feel worse than me today

jeremy opens his mouth and says “i want to marry you” and a girl he met once says “no you don’t” across the table jeremy puts hash-browned potatoes into his open mouth and closes it they don’t talk anymore for a while the line cook wants to kill himself a lot less than he did at 6:17am, when he woke up really hungover

i am driving on a road that is the same color as my dashboard

i am driving on a road that is the same color as my dashboard recalling how it felt inside my torso that time we texted each other a lot on the couch the one in starbucks we were probably joking about the guy we saw on the other couch the other one in starbucks i am thinking that for a second when we were texting a lot on the couch we were kind of thinking the same thing at once just by having access to the same information at the same time... compared to the guy on the other couch he had no idea we probably looked really nondescript and dialectical i am seeing my reflection in the window since the road is the same color as my dashboard it’s all the same color except for me so i don’t care really i could die right now and i wouldn’t care i am probably going to die i am probably going to die but it's whatever i drove on a road that was the same color as my dashboard

high school

what why are we here i don’t know why i like you i guess we are friends what why am i reading this book i don’t care it is really bad i'm not going to read it anymore what why can't i go home i don’t think i will use any of this i probably will what why would i want to learn a lot if i learn a lot it won’t really matter/   if i don’t learn a lot it won’t really matter remember that thing jesus said in mark everybody here is going to forget me anyway what

“you think a lot,” she typed into a chat box “like are thoughtful,” she typed into a chat box after realizing that she had, in her previous statement, likely subconsciously, used a derivative of the adjective she elected instead for her second statement, with an unsatisfying connotative effect “or considerate,” she typed into a chat box, which bore no semblance to the root word “thought” but had a similar connotative effect as “thoughtful”

implicitly agreeing on an ontological position

it is weird to think about

i type into a chat box at 5:54am

layers

i type into a chat box at 5:54am

of seeing

i type into a chat box at 5:54am

things

i type into a chat box at 5:55am

I’m a mess

mothers

mothers do i feel for you,   that think your son is noble   that he is modest that the dreams you paint inside his head   are the same ones on the brush he used   to leave that crooked trail behind him

mothers do i feel for you,   that think your son is humble   that he is kind that he does what’s best for everyone   not just to forget, but to make a change   when he turns water to wine mothers do i feel for you, he’s not as great as you think he’s not at church on sundays   or praying like a saint he’s an animal   who vibrates when she asks him,   his fingers like a pirate’s   & his mind a snake’s if i weren’t just some mother’s son too i’d break all your hearts & tell all of you

what it feels like to get your text at 2:17am, after the shower

can you smell this hot coffee from there probably not you are really good at being there i am here in at least one more way than you are

did you get my text today or tomorrow “from yesterday” i am here in maybe two more ways than you are

it’s 2:17 in the morning… and i feel sick i drink too much/had too much to drink but i’m making another cup anyway you probably couldn't smell it if you tried you’re not here in enough ways

i do want to stay up i do wish you were here i think i think of you most of the time, when  it feels like i’m here, and i’m mostly alive (sometimes i forget about you... i’m not really good at being here (i’m only here in at least one more way than you are))

we should drink hot coffee at the same time... to simulate shared experience you are typing something back