Reblogs Basically.

multiplayer video games bad for health, heart, and emotional wellbeing. cut them out of ur diet.

did u lose again

A prodigy

You missed the best part. They weren’t even their sheep. This good pupper gathered up a bunch of random sheep it found somewhere on the countryside and brought them home for its human.

somebodys gonna take the “socializing in a friendly manner with the FBI agent monitoring me” too literally and make a whole rant about how it’s actually really horrible that we’re humanizing and undemonize the fbi and it’s creepy big brother schtick and half of the website is gonna feel guilty and embarrassed for laughing at this joke and will avoid posts that even mention the fbi and the other half are gonna send death threats to the op of the original post and they’re gonna get driven off of tumblr saying some shit like “I’ve realized how toxic and unwelcoming this website is I need some time for myself” and then months later somebody’s gonna point out how it was a coping mechanism form of humor because we literally can do nothing about the fbi monitoring us and then everyone will feel stupid no matter what side they took and we’ll all silently agree to never bring it up again until five years from now in one of those “memes from 2018” posts

Can’t risk it

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

I just said “I am Moana from Motunui, you killed my father, prepare to die” and it actually took me a few seconds to realize that’s not right

My name is Inigo Montoya. You will board my boat, sail across the world, and return the heart of Te Fiti.

my name is Moana Montoya, you will board my father, prepare to sail, and die

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

at what point in history do you think americans stopped having british accents

Actually, Americans still have the original British accent. We kept it over time and Britain didn’t. What we currently coin as a British accent developed in England during the 19th century among the upper class as a symbol of status. Historians often claim that Shakespeare sounds better in an American accent.

whAT THE FUCK

I’m too tired for this

Always add in the video that according to linguists, Native southern drawl is a slowed down British.

T’ be or not t’be, y’all.

Fun fact: Same thing happened with the French accent. French Canadians still have the original French accent from the 15th century.

Êt’e ou n’pô zêt’e, vous z’auts.

I’ve been trying to find this post for months. I’m freakishly obsessed with this and want the truth of what early colonists sounded like.

“Moooom! …can you get my toy for me?” (via qoolove520)

The baby yell

She’s such a patient mom

That’s one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen.

A GOOD MOM

what is it about capybaras that attracts groups of small animals to them? Its not just mammals either its like birds and turtles and frogs too

look at this shit

They radiate peace

capybaras are friend shaped

I love this post

This is actually a cool thing I know about!

In the wild capybaras live in large groups so naturally a female capybara will take care of not only her own offspring, but all of the other offspring in the group. So capybaras are super great mothers who will adopt pretty much anything and take care of it.

Lots of places that rescue different animals will give a group of baby animals to a capybara to raise if they have one.

Like puppies

Ducks

Deer

Emus

They are just super calm animals so they’re naturally great at mothering or just existing in a group!

mom shaped

My man Jesus

What story is that?

Matthew 18:9

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

yall: go over your answers before turning them in

me a bitch whos never wrong: i think the fuck not

me a bitch whos always wrong: i think the fuck not

Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

Me: are you ok

Reblog if politeness to retail and service workers is important to you.

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

Reblog to literally save a life

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.

Important!

Historic Black and White Pictures Restored in Color

This is awesome.

Not something I’d typically reblog but I like.

This is bloody fantastic.

Honestly seeing old photos in color makes the past so much more tangible.

That’s when I realized I couldn’t live without him