Amtrak: Racism, mysogyny, and corporate indifference.
I wrote this email to Amrak. They said they'd handle it internally. So, thanks. I'll just add it to my list of trauma that none of my white friends experience.
On Mother's Day, May 13, 2018, riding from Champaign to Chicago at 10:14 AM on the Saluki 390, I decided to get some food from the snack car because my baby was starting to get antsy. I was with my baby and my student. I walked from the last car to the snack car. I opened the stroller to wheel my baby through because I didn't want her to walk on a moving train.
We get to the snack car. All the booths are taken. I ask a woman who is sitting by herself at a booth if we could share the space. She graciously agrees and even moves over to another space occupied by another single occupant. She is not eating any snacks. The other occupant had an empty bag of chips.
The woman who runs the snack car is sitting at a booth and says, you can't have that in here. I say, oh of course! I'll fold it up and move it out of the way. She is quiet for a moment, then says, what I mean is, it's not a good idea for you to be here. I'm not sure what this ambiguous comment means, so I ask, is the snack bar open? She replies, after a long, awkward pause, yes. She rises, slowly, to walk behind the snack bar.
A couple standing at the table where there is a handicapped space say I can place the folded stroller where they are standing because they will get off at Homewood, the next stop. I thank them. It has always been my experience that Amtrak riders are accommodating to each other.
We sit at a booth, my student, myself, and my 18-month-old toddler. I order food and drinks, and the snack car attendant is curt but polite enough. I wonder, perhaps she was so hostile at the beginning because she genuinely thought there was no more room. Or I wonder maybe speaking curtly is part of her personality. After a few minutes, though, I learn the latter isn't true. She is quite friendly toward an older man and woman sitting at the table closest to the door.
We enjoy about half an hour of eating when my baby soils her diaper. I ask one of the two conductors sitting at the tables behind me where I can find a changing table. The attendant hears our conversation. The conductor checks the bathroom and says sympathetically that there is no table and he's not sure what to do. He leaves. I'd like to change the baby but I don't know where. I thought I might change her in her stroller, a skill in which all mothers are adept. I place my baby down on the bench of our booth when the attendant says, very abrasively, you can't do that here; this is a place of eating. In my genuine frustration, I ask, well can you help me find somewhere to change her? She replies, no, I can't. But you can't do it here. I am surprised by her refusal to help me and I am justifiably angry. Still, I am composed when I say, I guess you're okay with my baby just sitting in her shit. She replies, well why did you leave your seat in the first place?
In the moment, I had replied to the "accusation" of leaving my seat that my child was getting antsy, and I didn't want her to disturb other passengers. However, I have since thought about her question in more depth. I don't know why the attendant would hold the fact that we left our seats against me. We came to get a snack. In the snack car. She did not ask or challenge anyone else in the car, despite the fact that they had all finished their snacks long ago. But here we were, two Americans, born and bred Chicagoans, who happen to look like immigrants, being challenged for wanting a space in the snack car.
So I gather my belongings, and my student, baby and I stand by the train exits. I no longer want to be in the same room as someone who is purposefully making me feel uncomfortable. She approached us a minute later to say, I don't want you to think I'm picking on you, but you need to move. You can't block the vestibule. I'm not sure what she means so we shuffle a bit, but are still standing by the doors. There isn't really anywhere to move in the vestibule that wouldn't block the vestibule. I don't feel welcome in the snack car, so we stay where we are. I also start recording on my phone at this point because if she says she doesn't want us to think she is picking on us, I now feel that my discomfort is justified.
She then announces over the intercom that the train is almost at its destination and that NO ONE (emphasis) should block the vestibule. I'm still unsure of what she means, but now I definitely feel she is picking on us, and on an intercom to the whole train no less. I notice that the man she was friendly with earlier is taping us, so I also tape him as well. I am unclear as to why he is involved.
This is where the situation escalates. The train comes to a halt and the man filming us gets up and says belligerently to my young student, I need to get through to open the doors; she told you to move three times. I am appalled and tell him, you could say excuse me and she would gladly move over. He then shoves my student out of the way and most horrifyingly, he shoves my baby, sitting in my arms in her soiled diaper. She starts crying loudly. I have video of this incident.
When we got off the train, two people stopped to ask me if we were okay. I was very shaken. One of them gave me his email address and told me he would help if I needed him to corroborate my story.
Frankly, I need help solving the enigma of the snack car attendant, who gave her name to me as either Christie or Christine. Though I did absolutely nothing to warrant her incivility, she reluctantly served us at my insistence and refused to help a mother with her baby, ironically on Mother's Day. But also, who is the man whom Amtrak has hired, not wearing a uniform, that would push a baby out of the way? My husband offered this experience-based speculation: If he were with me, we would have been treated very differently. My husband is white.
I am not out to get the attendant or the man fired. We are living in difficult economic times. But there needs to be a questioning of their behavior. Is it a pattern toward people who look like me? She did not have any problems with the white or black customers, but is she making the snack car a hostile place for brown and yellow people? I am an articulate, highly-educated person who will speak up, but many who look like me or my student may not. Does she take advantage of their silence or deficit in language, perhaps people like my parents?
As a teacher, I strongly believe this incident should be a learning experience, and not only for me. I would like documentation of the fact that she and the man were spoken to and trained in respectful behavior toward all customers. They may have preconceived notions of people who look like me or my student, and I can't change that. But at least they can learn to treat everyone who wants a snack, or everyone who needs help with a baby, with the same level of civility.
I would also like a written apology. I feel shaken by the incident and am distraught that I was unable to protect my daughter and student from mistreatment by Christine and especially from a physical altercation by an older man. If they can't see that the way they treated us is wrong, if they insist we misconstrued the situation, if they shed doubt on my telling of the story, I have video evidence and a bystander witness.
Thank you for your consideration and I eagerly await your response.
