Gruntled & Hinged

Pumping is such an enormous pain in the ass. 0/10 stars.

... would.. wouldn't it be a pain in the tits?

...okay that's fair.

Pediatrician today: I would guess that pumping until 6mos could get like, ~25% decrease in daycare related illnesses.

Me: oh no.

Pumping is such an enormous pain in the ass. 0/10 stars.

... would.. wouldn't it be a pain in the tits?

...okay that's fair.

thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters

and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind

and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS

turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's

I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life

the mom looked at me as if her son and I belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why I knew the names of the demons in his head

I wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient"

at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing

so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence 

anyway this one time there was a kid who was really into christianity but it was like, specifically angels 

so I’m trying to start up a conversation with him and I ask what he’s reading and he goes “do you know what a nephilim is”

and like for one hellish second my soul is suckerpunched out of my body and thrown straight into supernatural-fanfic-on-wattpad hell, and then I reassume control of my flesh prison, ignoring the mental edits of Dean and Castiel making out, and go “Aren’t those the guys who are half human and half angel?”

and the kid was so fucking happy but the mom was staring at me like ‘why are you privy to this bit of occult jesus lore’

and my heathen lesbian of a self just looks at her and goes 

“i love bible”

longterm use of this website gives you a tumblr accent

Reporter: Are the airstrikes in Yemen working?

Biden: Well, when you say 'working' are they stopping the Houthis? No. Are they going to continue? Yes.

I was gonna make a jokey post about how Rachel Animorphs is a great character because "what if the most fashionable it girl at your school discovered a passion for war crimes" is just inherently interesting to watch, and you know, that's true

But I think the real thing that makes her interesting is that while the other Animorphs have the "what if you were in a situation where you had to do violence and it was hard" thing covered from a variety of angles, Rachel's arc is "what if you were in a situation where you had to do violence and it was entirely too easy?"

--The Fifth Elephant - the 24th Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, 1999

Curious, does anyone know for sure if Cheery is trans? I've read a few of the Guards Guards! series books and I thought she was cis, just that dwarves don't really distinguish between genders

been a few years so I'm really not sure

I view Cheery is trans because her gender (female) is different from the one assigned to her at birth (dwarf). Dwarfs only have one gender in their culture - dwarf with he/him pronouns. So anyone who has a different gender is by definition trans.

I think we can get tripped into thinking of Cheery as cis because we're assuming she has "female" parts and would have been assigned female if she was a human. But Cheery isn't a human and dwarfs don't assign gender based on body parts, so the body parts Cheery may or may not have are irrelevant to the discussion. The relevant piece is the transition to something-other-than-assigned.

While we're at it:

Carrot doesn't have a beard.

Carrot is a dwarf by adoption, having been born a human.

Carrot is a dwarf. He is as much a dwarf as they come.

Dwarves. Have. Beards.

If Carrot doesn't have a beard, it's because one didn't grow.

Carrot is, therefore, probably AFAB (assigned female at birth, now dwarf) as well as AHAB (assigned human at birth, now dwarf).

And since dwarves have one gender and it is dwarf (pronouns he/him), and since Carrot is the cleanest-minded, most innocent, optimistically credulous person ever to have graced the Disc, he's probably never had cause to notice or figure out that he's part of the half of dwarf society that would be called woman if he weren't a dwarf, which of course he is, and therefore a he/him sort of person regardless.

Carrot is trans.

Carrot is double-trans.

Carrot is a 6'3 beardless AFAB human-born dwarf who is fully accepted by dwarves as a dwarf despite his not having a beard, and fully accepted by humans as a man, which may be entirely because a muscular 6'3 person who wears chain mail and gets called "he" by his compatriots gets assumed to be male (in the parts department), or it may be that Carrot is the sort of person whose energy is such that if he were endowed like Dolly Parton everyone who saw him would marvel at what amazing pecs he has.

Thesis: Carrot is double trans (female-to-male to humans and itdoesn'tmatter-to-dwarf to dwarves) (his adoptive parents would perhaps be aware that humans have more than one gender but possibly no real reason to know which one applies, and a dwarf's lack of interest in the matter, and anyway, he's a dwarf now, that's what's important), with butch energy off the charts.