TFW you realize that you had your first kiss and not even a month later the world entered a complete lockdown... What hell have I brought?

Story Time

So last weekend I was at a birthday party for a friend’s wife of mine. Now, if you’ve seen any of my posts (of which there hasn’t been any for about 3/4 of a year) you know I’m hilarious socially anxious. Turns out, alcohol completely takes that away. Not in the way that it’s not there though, more in a “the alcohol is holding that part of my brain hostage and water boarding it” way. 

Anyway, I’ve also never been someone that has had luck with the ladies ™ but at this party I decided to just let loose and flirted with this incredibly hot girl and for some reason was receptive and reciprocating. Anyway, we ended up spending the whole night talking on the cough basically hanging off of eachother and kissed.

Now here’s where it gets hilarious. I fucking hate myself for it. The fact that it took me being plastered to feel good about myself is a hilarious indictment on my sense of self worth and my god I need to work on that. It was so nice actually feeling confident in myself in that context though so now I have somewhere to start.

I’m no expert in this but even I have to think someone may have interest in me when they bring up going to have drinks with me AND when I was looking up hockey tickets they suggested I take them to a game. I’m awful at picking up signals but even I can see there might be something there.

It’s honestly infuriating how quickly I can catch feelings. Like damn, slow down me. Like honestly, for someone about as appealing as an out of commission port-a-potty you’d think I wouldn’t be so quick to  get up in liking someone.

For the first time in 3 months I’m really not looking forward to work tomorrow. 

I was fucking idiot for even thinking for a second that something like this could work out for me. Never has so why the fuck would it now? I never fucking learn.

So the latest installment in my riveting tale of the girl at work I have a crush on that no one actually cares about is this: We’re going on a date next weekend!

Anyway, I’m kinda freaking the fuck out rn

I might be going crazy but I think there’s a chance the person I wanna ask out may actually feel the same

I’m like 85% sure that the things I think are signs are actually signs but man, that remaining 15% is casting a fuck ton of doubt. And if I’m wrong it would really suck going forward.

.

Man, I really hoped I’d be over this by now but alas..