my tumblr jesters....tell me a funny

guards......take him to the execution room

i dream of being a cat

The next time you've got a friend over, set an example and put your phone on the table, visibly there but not too far away, to let them know that you're intentionally present, not distracted, your attention is undivided and you want to be fully focused on being right there to spend time with them. Don't mention it or draw attention to this, you're not doing this to be preachy or wanting praise, you just want to be a good friend and you value your friend's time. Ideally, your friend will either notice this or even pick it up without conscious notice, and set their own phone aside on the table as well.

Then, when your friend takes a minute to go to the bathroom, grab your phone and take a photo of your friend's phone sitting on your table. Do not touch it, and put your own phone back exactly where it was immediately once you've got the picture. Carry on with whatever you two were doing.

Once your time is up and your friend has left for home, wait for a good 15 minutes or so, for them to either get back home or be well on their way there. Text your friend, "hey, you forgot your phone", and send them the photo you took of their phone on your table. Set a stopwatch running from the moment your friend sees the message.

Measure how many seconds it takes for your friend to process this and tell you to go fuck yourself.

fuck you (runs your cast iron pan through a dishwasher cycle)

my seanoning

my favourite thing about large discord servers is when they make an announcement post and all the reactions on it are like. POG FACE. TRANS HEART. E. CONFETTI EMOJI. FLAG OF PERU. SNAKE. Q. EYES. FIRE. MISCHEVIOUS DEVIL SMILING EMOJI. ANOTHER POG FAGE. PREGNANT MAN. HOT DOG. THUMBS UP. VRISKA.

the biggest problem with writing fantasy in english is that there's really no alternate universe phrasing that carries the exact tone and context to the reader as "jesus fucking christ"

"You can't cancel a fictional character because they are just the product of a real person"

Oh yeah? If you can't cancel a fictional character, explain Scrappy Doo

I passed by a thrift store the other day with a quietly Scooby-Doo themed display for Halloween:

making up oc lore: fuck yes a little guy just for me

writing down oc lore: what the fuck

oh also

making up oc worldbuilding: this makes complete and utter sense and is really easy to understand! i cant wait to show my friends

showing your friend your worldbuilding: the flrimble is basically a type of zimzam but sort of different, its hard to explain

why is this post getting big

Hung out with some 18 year olds and I quoted a vine and none of them noticed and when they asked how old I was and said I was 23 they called me old...someone call an ambulance

my cat is sad. original poem by Spencer Madsen

Been seeing a lot of clips of these square dogs on youtube and I think they’re pretty great so I decided to draw some.

Two regular style Blueys and one teenage one cause I think teen Bluey has a really cute design. Anyway I think when Bluey gets older she’ll discover TTRPGs and she’d be an evil GM who gets way too into it.

Spoopy season

it's so fucked up that you could just eat a micro sd card

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

This post is so incredibly dumb and everytime I come across it I just can’t help but laugh. This site is just magical. Where else will you get this nonsense?