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Everybody Poops.

@duh-bish-blog / duh-bish-blog.tumblr.com

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#KnowYourHistory

First, I want to start by recognizing the people before me who have done this work, who have held me in their hearts, and who I continue to learn from. I’m infinitely grateful to share community and kinship with badass Indigenous, POC, and Black folks who embody resistance with every breath they breathe. I also want to acknowledge those whose resistance I embody without even being fully aware of it. As a Two-Spirit Indigenous woman, I know I have ancestors whose words may never reach me and whose struggles I may never know. The fact that I am here after centuries of colonial violence which sought to eradicate my communities, our traditions, and our knowledges is proof that someone before me fought so I may be here enacting this work. I want to start with these recognitions in order to acknowledge that everything I’m sharing with you today isn’t inherently mine just because I’m the one writing it down. These words came from community processes, teachings, Indigenous and POC spaces, my mom, my aunties, my grandma, my sisters, my cousins, and many conversations around the kitchen table. These words belong to the communities from which I come from just like every step I take in the world and every action I undertake.

Today I’m going to try to address #ThisTweetCalledMyBack focusing on community organizing and lateral violence. This isn’t to discredit the work which goes on “behind the scenes”, so to speak. Much like the folks who wrote the now infamous #ThisTweetCalledMyBack, the majority of the “work” I undertake happens within my own communities in ways that are often invisibilized by larger movements. However, my decided focus in this post is because I never want to be complicit in the harm or degrading of another Indigenous woman. In fact, I agree with much of what the folks who wrote #ThisTweetCalledMyBack except one very crucial point: The blatant erasure of the lateral violence which Lauren Chief Elk has inflicted on countless Indigenous women and Two-Spirit peoples. Yes, violence.

It’s with a heavy heart that I write this post. But, as #ThisTweetCalledMyBack continues to spread with little attention to the violence which spurred it, it becomes apparent that the harm Lauren Chief Elk has caused is too far reaching to ignore as it continues to affect my communities. I want to be clear that I am talking about one person in particular in relation to #ThisTweetCalledMyBack and it’s Lauren Chief Elk. In short, this project didn’t occur in a vacuum. It was, at the very least partially, influenced by a series of violent actions Lauren undertook and is potentially a way to sweep that abuse under the rug.

I also want to acknowledge my choice to remain anonymous and act alone. Lauren Chief Elk and her many followers have proven to show little remorse for doxing people, who have largely been other women of color and Indigenous women, including minors. They show little concern for the real life ramifications of these actions and the danger and violence they perpetrate in the lives of those peoples they do choose to dox. The decision to write this post came from many behind the scenes conversations with Indigenous, Black, and POC folks in my community who had experienced violence at the hands of Lauren Chief Elk and, as a result, were too scared to hold her accountable for her abuse. We are mothers who fear for our children’s safety. We are sex workers who fear being outed. We are low income Indigenous workers who are scared of getting endless calls to our place of employment with the intention of getting us fired. This is why I decided to act alone in this post. I want to take the pressure off my kin so that if I am identified and doxed it’s just me. Also, I decided to work anonymously because I am very, VERY legitimately scared of Lauren and the harm she may cause me, my friends, and my family. But, trust every word I write has every one of my kin behind it.

I also want to position myself in relation to this conversation. I am an Indigenous, Two-Spirit woman who works with a small youth coalition. I would love it if we somehow magically were able to tap into this steady flow of “grant money” that apparently exists for small community groups like ours. The reality is there is no funding anywhere for this kind of work, especially in Conservative Canada. We work for free and we work HARD. But, we do this work out of love for our communities. We do this work for the survival of our communities. We do this work because there is no other option. We are infinitely grateful for our relationship with the Native Youth Sexual Health Network. A lot of the work NYSHN does isn’t public because they don’t do it for the fame or acclaim. Much like us, they do their work for the love of their communities. They are consistently creating community spaces that spawn some of the most amazing work I have been able to witness. They’ve always been about supporting our work. They engage in ongoing community accountability in the form of lifting up Indigenous youth community organizers, like ourselves, who need help every which way we can get it.

So, back to #KnowYourHistory. This hashtag, for me, is a resistance to Lauren’s false claims. In order to keep things relevant to #ThisTweetCalledMyBack I’m going to focus on the events within the last couple weeks. However, I want to acknowledge this all started earlier this year when Lauren accused NYSHN of plagiarizing her. It was very intense with a lot of lateral violence on Lauren and her follower’s ends. Many Indigenous community members reached out to Lauren behind the scenes to try to be accountable to her but Lauren refused. It was clear she wasn’t interested in mediation with the communities she supposedly does work for but a public flame war. This was the first red flag. Fast forward to last week when Lauren posted a disturbing series of tweets many of which have now been deleted:

I know there’s a lot here so I’m going to try to break it down claim by claim.

Claim:

Lauren accuses NYSHN of “inventing names on the database so they can get funding”. She also accuses them of plagiarizing their database from her work. Lauren also claims that the history MMIW work starts with her, that none of this work could have happened without her.

Reality:

The above is a history of the database in question. The database is a collaboration between NYSHN and Silence No More.

First, the non-recorded history is important to recognize. In the words of above collaborators:

We acknowledge the women, families and communities who have been doing this organizing themselves for decades, especially when police and governments have failed to acknowledge, listen or act despite Indigenous women, Two Spirit and Trans people that have continued to disappear or be murdered. Generations of work have brought us to where we are and continue to teach us how we must work forward in achieving justice together.

That said, there is actually a recorded, and LONG, history of many Indigenous women and Two-Spirit peoples who have been doing this work for upwards of 20 years – long before anyone even breathed Lauren’s name. In fact, Bridget Tolley, who was to speak at COV alongside Lauren, is one of these longtime warriors whose very presence at the conference refutes Lauren’s claims. To read more about this recorded history, visit the above link. Many Indigenous people have long been doing this work in our communities who Lauren is erasing with these flippant misrepresentations of herself and her work.

On the claim of falsified names, despite claims to the contrary, the reality is that Lauren does not own this work nor has she been engaged in the majority of this work across Turtle Island. The collection of this data has been facilitated by many groups, individuals, and organizations Lauren isn’t even aware of and has never worked with. To claim that she knows ALL legitimate names of MMIW is just plain hubris. Also, this brings up an important central question: Why it’s so important for her to own these community processes in the capitalist sense?

It seems like Lauren knows very little about the history of MMIW work on Turtle Island or the reality of funding for Indigenous groups, particularly around MMIW, in Canada. Even if someone, by some stretch of the imagination, decided they should falsify names on an MMIW database in order to obtain funding it wouldn’t even be useful. Funding for Indigenous women’s organizations has been cut again and again in Canada. Again from NYSHN and Silence No More:

Sisters in Spirit was the first government-funded database of cases of missing and murdered Indigenous women in Canada started in 2006. Canada’s federal government stopped funding the program in 2010. Critics of the cut say it was meant to silence the Native Women’s Association of Canada, the group behind the database.

The reality is, there is barely any funding anywhere in Canada for this kind work and it only gets worse year to year due to Conservative cutbacks. The people who do this work do it for their communities. Not for acclaim, notoriety, or funding but because the state has failed them and they have no other options. Indigenous organizers in Canada know there is no “grant money” for them anywhere and recognize this as a part of colonial state violence seeking to silence and eradicate Indigenous peoples. This is why so much Indigenous organizing in Canada is truly grassroots. We don’t rely on anyone for funding. We know we can only rely on ourselves and our communities to mobilize.

I don’t want to illegitimate Lauren’s experience of being plagiarized and violated by settler community groups and the university. In fact, as an Indigenous organizer, I know this feeling all too well and it’s terrible. What I am saying is that claims by Lauren that NYSHN, and other Indigenous people doing this work in their communities, are plagiarizers are misplaced and have been violent.

Claim:

NYSHYN is “losing their shit” over Lauren and “digital organizing”.

Reality:

Throughout this entire debacle NYSHN has never publicly said anything degrading about Lauren. NYSHN and many other Indigenous community members have reached out to Lauren in private to try and reconcile (so not to discredit or harm her) but, again, Lauren refused. The only person who is saying violent things is, in fact, Lauren. This includes such statements as “drink battery acid” and “shut the fuck up” from a woman who apparently does anti-violence work. Furthermore, these statements were directed solely towards other Indigenous women and Two-Spirit peoples. This is why Lauren is known, at least to my communities, as an abuser with a history of intimidation tactics and perpetuating lateral violence.

Claim:

Lauren claims she does “real community support work” unlike NYSHN.

Reality:

Again, it seems Lauren is making claims about something she is, in fact, ignorant about. After Lauren released these tweets a barrage of Indigenous peoples made tweets, fed up with Lauren’s bullying tactics, misrepresentations, and abuse, in support for NYSHN.

These are just a few of the tweets which came out in support of NYSHN. However, once other Indigenous peoples decided enough was enough and started voicing their realities, which were very contrary to Lauren’s claims, this is when the blackout happened. By doing this Lauren refused to engage or be accountable to the violence she perpetuated against other Indigenous women and Two-Spirit peoples likely hoping to silence them.

This became even more apparent when #ThisTweetCalledMyBack appeared. The verbose, conflated post outlined all the ways in which us apparently overpaid “activists” benefit off the unseen labor of these tweeters. Dang, I’d really like to see some of this cash I’m apparently racking in at the expense of these tweeters, most of whom I had never heard of before this debacle. The reality for many Indigenous peoples is that this post felt like a convenient cover to hide the violence and abuse perpetuated by Lauren. Also an ironic negation of many of our own realities and unpaid labor. The fact is that Lauren has no idea what our community work looks like day to day and the unpaid labor we constantly undertake for our communities –  along with countless other Indigenous organizers of small community groups who do similar work.

This is not to say I don’t agree with the content of #ThisTweetCalledMyBack. Many of the individuals backing the project are amazing people and organizers who are bringing up valid points. What this does mean is that we can’t divorce it from its origins: The unchecked abuse perpetuated by Lauren Chief Elk. I’m making this public now because it’s too hard to sit back and watch #ThisTweetCalledMyBack be retweeted again and again with no recognition of the violence it was born from. The reality is I care for Lauren. She is my sister whether she accepts her responsibilities to that kinship or not. But I also care about the well being of my community. The reality is that the only people who have anything to lose from attending COV are those who have been abused by and are scared of Lauren. It’s time for Lauren to be accountable for the lateral violence she is responsible for. And that won’t happen if #ThisTweetCalledMyBack isn’t put into context in relation to the abuser it represents.

I think the claims from the people who worked on #ThisTweetCalledMyBack are so important but how can we dismantle capitalist hierarchies in community organizing if their is an unchecked abuser in our midst. Also, if the organizers refuse to acknowledge or address the abuse which started the project thereby protecting said abuser. It seems like too convenient of an erasure for it to be accidental. So then, we must take this is an active erasure of the lateral violence against countless Indigenous women and Two-Spirit people. It’s also blatantly ironic that, for a group with the mandate of focusing on creating “safe spaces”, they harbor one of the most intense instigators of abuse I have ever encountered. And how does an ongoing attack on and a discrediting of the work of all “other” (and apparently bad) POC, Black folks, and Indigenous folks actually achieve this?

It’s important to recognize that the things Lauren takes credit for aren’t new theories over which she has dominion. This assertion, based very much in the idea of capitalist ownership, is a conscious erasure of centuries of organizing and work by POC, Black folks, and Indigenous peoples. Work which influences every single word we write now and the actions we undertake everyday. Furthermore, what about community processes from which this kind of knowledge is consolidated from? What about the unseen POC, Indigenous folks, and Black folks who aren’t given power through their digital personas whose work within their communities influence this knowledge production with zero recognition? We honor these people in the continuation of their work whether we recognize (or in this case erase) it or not.

So, please, #KnowYourHistory.

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Fun game:

Replace “Father” in Christian texts with “Daddy”

“Our Daddy who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name”

“forgive me, daddy, for i have sinned”

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Daddy, who is unseen. Then your Daddy, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. - Matthew 6:6“

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Meet the Wonderful and Hard-Working Shop Cats of New York

New York cats aren’t just in bodegas, they work all over the city.

Bodega cats are having a moment. It all started when a Yelp user slammed a New York City corner store for having a feline who adores napping on beer cases inside the business, leading to outrage across the internet. A staple in many bodegas across the city, these cats are often beloved by customers and help the stores keep vermin out. Now there’s even a petition to make these local feline heroes officially legal. But in New York, it’s not just bodegas that staff cats. All kinds of business establishments across the city’s five boroughs have opened their doors to resident kitties, who usually become the favorite employees. Tamar Arslanian has collected the stories of many of N.Y.C.’s working cats for the book Shop Cats of New York, which features stunning photos of the subjects from Andrew Marttila

Via People

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Dissociation is the worst defense mechanism; your brain is like “existing here in the real world is gettin kinda difficult so how about you chill out here in the void instead.. oh is this an inopportune time? Are you in the middle of a conversation? Taking a test? Yeah? Ok great welcome to the v o i d”

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brutereason

I wonder from where so many Americans get the idea that voting is supposed to be some expression of your deepest, most beloved values and virtues rather than a pragmatic, political move meant to shift your country as much closer to your ideal as possible. This strikes me as another example of extreme individualism. Voting isn’t about *you*. It’s about your city, state, and/or country. It doesn’t have to feel transcendently good deep down in your bones. It just has to *do* as much good as you can do, in this particular moment in time.

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