whole pussy out

dirt in my mouth

sing a lil ditty when i stroll down south

bone removal

without approval

i found your name and address on the google

literally i would kill for her

I love it

what it feels like to go to the bathroom right when you wake up

Gary’s Sex Tips #1002

If she calls out her ex boyfriend’s name in bed go to his house and kiss him. See what the dick about! See what all the fuss is about!

art…. rat…. same letters………. not a coincidence.

Anyone: *stands behind me while I’m on my phone*

Me:

no offense but I’ve never gotten over anything that’s happened to me in my life

thinking about when my brother got chatbanned from overwatch and the email they sent him after he tried to appeal it said “we dont normally bring up the incriminating messages, but in this case we feel its necessary to show you what got you banned” and it was all shit like “ i will kidnap you in the desert and make you forget how to eat”

hey guys I’m so mad that three-year-olds don’t understand irony bc literally two of my students were fighting over a book titled “Why Should I Share?” today

me: *walking*

my cat: i am going to run in front of you. i am going to sprint in front of you so fast mid step and you are going to punt me into the sun

me: okay sir yes sir