NOPE, MISO SOUP

my clearest memory from high school is my best friend asking if i’d brought gym clothes and me asking “who the fuck is jim”

LOOK AT WHAT THEY FUCKING DID TO BOB THE BUILDER

I AM FUMNG WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

SMUG ASS STEPDAD LOOKING ASS LITTLE SHIT 

tangerines? we got that.

Kmart deserves commercial of the year

oh m y gOD

AU where people age until they reach 18 and then stop aging until they meet their soul mate so they can grow old together.

i’d never die

but imagine already being in a relationship at 18 and then at 22 you’re both sitting there looking at each other and realizing that you both haven’t aged a day

imagine platonically moving in with ur best friend at 18 and then realizing a few years later that you’ve been aging together

imagine purposely never finding your soul mate so you can reign eternal

you know how in musicals the couple will start singing the same song no matter how far apart they are

what if that happened in real life

what if you were just at a restaurant one day and you started rANDOMLY SINGING because your soulmate decided to sing a duet in the shower

Omfg! What if this is why you get a song stuck in your head! Because your soulmate is singing it somewhere!

IT GOT BETTER

JESUS CHRIST

i dont want to be soulmates with someone who keeps singing cotton eyed joe

me: everyone needs to just b chill 😇

me 10 minutes later at a red light: WHY👏ARE👏WE👏NOT👏MOVING

doge

A very round cat hand