[ID: A small brown and white calf resting their head on the head of a large black longhorn cow. The bigger cow is grazing and paying no mind to the baby.]

I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth

In these parts, they say, if you are lucky when wandering the wastes between city and town, you may encounter a truly exemplary creature. Its skin, like that of the rhinoceros, plates its body in geometric folds; its feet are like four enormous sand-dollars, pleasing to the eye and rapid in their movement. Its snout is broad with the same placid strength as a great ox and its breath is heavy and warm as the same, but its eyes flash so like those of a lion at night that no traveler could believe it truly tame for long. The name of this beast? Toyota Corolla.

POMPEII TERRACOTA FROGS BE UPON YE

interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume?

me: mhm so that’s called a lacuna. it refers to when manuscripts have missing parts, lost to time. for example, the epic of gilgamesh has

girl are you a medieval executioner bc you are torturing me with your rack

i think i would enjoy grazing. were i a cow ...

what about if aliens picked u up in one of them beams

All of our problems seem so small from up here

ⓘ A sewing machine is a device that provides a several-fold increase of the speed at which you can make mistakes

jaguarundi kittens compilation btw. if you even care

Glasses people love to make you try their glasses on to see how fucked up their eyes are. It's a sign of respect in their culture.

put down the chat gpt. consume too much caffeine and nicotine and write a paper that you barely understand while you approach hallucination territory from too little sleep and too much raging. engage with academia in the way god intended

never ever ever ever ever ever ever beating the sleepy allegations

"my bad buddy I didn't mean to wake you up"

retiring to your chambers >>>>>>

do you want to see the best trail cam photo ever

let it be known he is chilling like crazy

little lambs eat ivy