i haven’t used tumblr in literal years, i guess it’s fine to just shitpost my minsung thoughts on main like twitter huh??? i need to follow some skz accounts… hello everyone

gonna reblog my own posts like replying to myself on twitter and then when everyone is like GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY i can be like ha ha look how old this account is you FOOLS. i just like posting in a string of thoughts to simulate pauses in conversation!!!!!!!!

well maybe the power of love would fix things did you guys think of that? if not we could try biting

The notion that straight people who approach sex unconventionally are comparable to gay people is predicated on a conception of gayness as sexual deviance. It’s homophobic.

Gentlemen, it has been a privilege being horny on main with you tonight

Josephine: This man threw…a goat…at the castle your Worship

Inquisitor: Fucking hilarious want a job?

*me, owning a strange boutique housegoods/book store selling a variety of mystic, occult objects but no one realizes I live there, this is literally my living room*

How much for this stick I can shake at God?

10 bucks

can i get these three backscratchers with a bundle discount

15% discount for 3 or more

How bout this book? I think it’s look cool with a cosplay I’m planning

40 bucks but never attempt to read or open it

How much is the doll?

Oh that? Just take it. Take it far far away and do not allow it to return

How about this?

$29.99. Just be careful not to leave the candles burning at night, the gremlin comes alive and likes to wander around and go through your stuff

Why is there a guinea pig in your shop?

excuse me Ramsey is our best employee

Alternatives to Tumblr if the entire site gets deleted on the 17th

Dragon age is coming back so you know what that means. Logging into your dash each day and seeing callouts because someone sided with the magical wizard rumpus club over the warlock circlejerk in their playthrough. Getting messages calling you problematic for following someone who has mixed feelings about the gnome independence movement. Seeing paragraphs upon paragraphs about how slorpity porpity the esteemed magical elf was actually justified in signing the pixie exclusion act. Get ready.

thank you Wikipedia, I would certainly love to help

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

“sliiide to the left”

*indescribably loud screeching of metal against asphalt*

“one hop this time”

*clonk*

“two hops this time”

*clonk clonk*

“everybody clap your hands!”

*clankclankclankclankclank*

Ask and ye shall receive ft. my drunk ass Any other requests? Send ‘em my way! 

Otto’s Irresistible Dance

This is infinitely funnier than I could have ever imagined.

I’m screaming why does Mamma Mia fit every fight scene so perfectly ajkaslajjddhhajadkjfh

this video is what dnd feels like