I think the invention of the term "traumadump" has done discussion of mental health a lot of harm. I keep seeing discourse vs whether or not it's okay to talk about heavy topics with your friends, and like... I feel like there is a very big and important difference between my definition of traumadumping (ie. Frequently and habitually diverting your conversations with others towards your own misery, often with the goal of focusing attention and sympathy towards yourself at the expense of those around you, and without recognizable effort to reciprocate your empathy towards those you are speaking to or to ensure their comfort) VS the mere act of having heavier conversations with those around you. I've seen a lot of backlash to the idea of traumadumping as a concept lately (they paywalled human connection etc etc) but I think it's worth recognizing there is absolutely a kind of behavior that can create a negative feedback loop with this stuff. Especially if you navigate a lot of spaces in social media, it's not uncommon to find people dropping really heavy stuff on complete strangers unprompted. Idk, I think there's a degree of nuance to be had that's maybe getting a bit lost due to everyone having different definitions of what it means to "trauma dump."

if you use your trauma to SUCK THE OXYGEN OUT OF THE ROOM particularly to isolate or make demands of others in ways they feel they can't escape that's traumadumping if your mother is sick and you need to talk to someone about it that is being normal and having normal feelings

Whenever a new fantasy/historical drama comes out I eagerly look forward to the rants from the handful of people I follow on here who are deeply into historical fashion and costuming. It's like

I need you to FREAKING listen to me. Back when I lived with my parents my mom would watch Hallmark channel and there was this show called When Calls the Heart. It was supposed to be in like late Victorian era or Edwardian era....... I think? (they have early cars) And THIS is what the costumes look like......

Literally all you had to do to make it quasi-believable was fix their hair/facial hair and give them hats. Also fix the character's neckline, she's the only character in the show where they're like "no she must be hot and have a V neck"

Ok sorry I had to get that out of my system.

@identifying-cars-in-posts how are you with older vehicles?

1917-1925 Ford Model T

this is weaker than a can of lacroix

Hey, Discord users!

you may have seen a post going around about how discord is "silently" rolling out a new feature called Clips, which allows you to be "recorded without your consent or knowledge" during discord voice chats. this post is, as most posts about websites having new scary features are on this website, inflammatory and entirely misleading as to what the feature really does and is.

from what i understand, based on my own experience: discord's new Clips feature is being rolled out incrementally to Nitro users, who get (very not-silently) notified of the feature's existence when they join a voice channel. this feature, which is only in effect while someone is screen sharing, allows the person who is screen sharing to take a clip of their own stream, including their own voice and the voices of others who are also there, which may last up to two minutes.

in short, it is entirely at the discretion of the person who is screen sharing to tell you whether or not they are going to clip something.

do not take this post as me telling you that you're wrong to be uncomfortable with your voice being recorded or whatever, because i get that (i was like that for years!) but please don't spread misinformation about discord "silently recording you without your consent", because it's just not true.

Please don’t pay for his music.

also don’t listen to it, it’s extremely bad

He’s wanting to do this to his home: 

He submitted the proposal to the Kensington and Chelsea Borough Council and the plan was rejected because the proposed four-foot-high railings (fence) and simple cast iron gate (which was chosen purely privacy and security for the front of the home) were considered “too domestic” looking for the former industrial area. The council gave Sheeran a list of options for privacy “railings”, and after changing the proposal Sheeran was given permission that was more in line with the neighbourhood, which is in a conservation area.  A direct quote from Sheeran states: “Dear Natalie Edwards from The Sun newspaper. Your story is bollocks, I have done lots of work in the past for Crisis and Shelter and would never build railings outside my home for that reason.The reason was to keep the paps that you employ from being on my doorstep. Have a good day.” this comment has been substantiated by the local police and security companies that Sheeran and his neighbours have had to contact previously when paparazzi have been taking photographs not only of Sheeran’s house but inside his windows, and constantly knocking on his door and yelling outside his house.  Think about this for a moment, a guy bought a house and fixed it up, he was trying to gain some privacy by asking for a simple fence and gate to indicate the property line and gain some distance from the paps, - which the police and council said was fine - and the newspapers who can no longer use these ill-gotten photos and are probably pissed have managed to spin this story to make it seem that this guy (whether you like his music or not), is an asshole and is anti-homeless. And you’re all eating this shit up and believing the newspapers, even though the Sun and Telegraph are well known across the UK for making shit up and lying. smh. 

That's not even.. what's going on (re the last tweet). People with ocd aren't contemplating sexually abusing kids, they're afraid they might sexually harm a child by mistake, or be a pedophile without realising, or any number of similar anxieties, but the point is that it becomes an anxious fixation because the person finds it so repellant. It's such an incredibly common ocd symptom, but most people are understandably terrified to talk about it

I remember reading a study where a therapist was helping people with similar anxieties - though not involving children - work through them. One client said she was afraid she was going to murder the therapist, not that she wanted to but that she'd somehow lose control of herself or an accident would happen. The solution? The therapist brought a kitchen knife to an appointment (with the patients consent), handed it to her and basically said "okay, what now?" Turns out nothing now, nothing happened, and it helped the client deal with the phobia

Obviously that approach isn't workable with something like pedophilia/csa anxiety but I think it highlights the true nature of what the anxiety actually is. It's irrational anxiety that comes from a deep fear and disgust of csa, not a desire to perpetrate it

Ring's on the wrong finger. Sic em, Jason.

walkable cities also means sittable cities send tweet

some people are responding to this like its a joke and im going to assume u are the type of people to say "its only a 3 minute walk" when i tell them the nearest bench is too far away

also anyone who thinks "3 minutes isnt THAT bad" you will be old one day. and you will wish the bench was closer

depiction is not the same as glorification and I need people to get that 

depiction from the POV of a character who thinks it’s okay is still not glorification

this bothers me so much because there is work that genuinely glorifies horrible shit and that’s actually really bad but the overuse of the term glorification makes it fucking impossible to talk about. there’s books out there that call for and romanticise violent terrorist attacks that have actually inspired terrorist attacks. there’s racist screeds that are about hurting minorities for fun. there’s work depicting sexual abuse of minors as acceptable. there’s books out there that are guidelines to abuse.

and even outside of extreme examples, even more subtle stuff is bad. the whole military propaganda thing in hollywood is glorifying war to exploit young people. work that portrays abuse or assault as a just punishment for bad people perpetrates the myth of a “perfect victim” that gets abuse victims ignored and left to die because they’re not innocent baby angels and therefore deserve their abuse. gender stereotypes are basically glorifying a ton of toxic traits and they’re everywhere in media still.

and like… portraying these things in a disturbing and horrific way? is the exact opposite of glorification! it’s literally not glorification at all it’s not portraying it as just and noble and glorious and to aspire to. that’s a very specific thing, and like chaotic-carnifex says it doesn’t correlate with the characters viewpoint. it’s all in the framing baby! work that has characters saying like idk torture is bad can still be glorification if it produces results and the torturer is basically portrayed as a tragic martyr. works that have characters think that torture is fun and a family bonding activity aren’t glorifying it if like, it’s portrayed in a realistic and horrific way where it doesn’t work and is just a traumatic nightmare.

and even treating the subjects badly! isn’t glorification! glorification is portraying something as worthy to aspire for. if a show fumbles a message it’s probably not glorifying whatever it portrayed horribly and insensitively unless it was truly a fuckup of massive proportions. it’s not just unfortunate implications and misused subjects, which are worthy of discussion but aren’t even in the same ballpark.

I had this idea for a looping animation in which a single dot has a pretty long loop, but the animation as a whole is much shorter. Because of the repetition this animation is only 1 second long!

THINGS DON'T NEED TO BE PERMANENT TO BE BEAUTIFUL!!! VALUE IS NOT STORED IN PERMENANCE!! TO BE ALIVE IS TO EXPERIENCE EVANESCENCE!!!

No matter how progressive or well-read you are, there are always going to be moments in your life where somebody pushes back against something that's so culturally ingrained you never even considered it before. And you'll say "Huh, it never occurred to me to challenge this but you're right" and that doesn't mean you were "morally toxic" before, it means you're a non-omniscient human capable of growth.

Twisted Metal III (1998) - Loading

the crime the criminal

Objection!

Your honor. It's true that a first glance at the evidence would suggest my client was responsible. But let's look a little further, shall we?

I have here a reverse image search for the crime scene as well as my client's photo.

And if you look closely at the results...

The blogs and dates don't match.

My client has been framed!

And why? Because their iconic "mischievous smile" makes for a funnier post, of course. But nothing, not even Tumblr notes, is more important than the truth!

I present to you: The original unaltered post and the true culprit!

@ my fellow adults who use tumblr a lot:

can you PLEASE put your age in your about/sidebar and make sure it’s accessible on mobile. imo if you’re an adult esp 20+ it’s a little weird that you wouldn’t have your age readily available on your blog. if you’re reading this now and you don’t have your age listed, please rectify that. i feel like teenagers get lured into talking to adults in fandom/lgbt spaces that they may not have intentionally sought out because they think they’re talking to other teenagers, and this can lead to a lot of other – much more insidious –problems

Can you guys step out of the tumblr “everyone over 20 is inherently predatory and creepy towards children” bubble for once and consider that encouraging people to give up their personal information for the imagined safety of the community is like…not safe?

this advice doesn’t even make sense for multiple reasons; if someone is intent on preying upon minors, all they have to do is follow your advice and lie about their age, being over 20 doesn’t mean you can’t be preyed on yourself, you should never be coerced into giving up your privacy on social media (seriously, did a fed write this?), and promoting the idea that turning 20 means your interactions with younger people should be viewed with suspicion is absolutely harmful, like OP do you have any common sense? At all?

“ignore your own privacy boundaries and discomfort and if you don’t idk 🤔sounds a lil sus 2 me, pedophile” will you guys stop larping as conservative politicians for one second please

think-of-the-children fearmongering is not the same thing as actually protecting minors

You’re talking about - much more insidious - problems while telling people if you don’t do what I tell you, you might be a threat to the safety of our community, like okay Dubya!

Let me tell you about the insidious things that happened when I was young in fandom spaces and older fans became my friends

1. I was taught real sex ed by a midwife, including a lot of pros and cons of various birth control

2. I learned you can just get anything printed into a book and having it in a physical book don’t legitimize something

3. I learned how to enjoy other cultures without making people from those cultures uncomfortable

4. I realized my guardians, while better than my past guardians, were still abusive and what I was experiencing was not healthy, even if distressingly common

5. I learned generosity without ulterior motives actually did exist

6. I learned I don’t have to abandon the things I enjoy as I get older.

7. I was taught ways to treat people differently in deference to their age while still treating them as peers.

(they treated me as an equal, but I was not included in any sexual discussions, for example)

8. I learned that friendships don’t have to be quid pro quo

All of these things super insidious and destructive to the conservative agenda.

Destroying the links between generations is part of how the powerful keep us from forming communities and bettering our lives. Don’t do the masters’ work for them.

Borrowed tags

Y'all need some queer fandom aunties in your lives, clearly.

Saying this again because I am friends with three generations of some families via one fandom and it may at some point become four. The third-gen ones are moving up into leadership positions now so I think we did sommat right…