🕊

danny says he’ll die next week, i said are you sure, are you planning on it? he said no but as we speak, he can feel his end time coming on and

thinks he caught a rare disease, i said did you know, did the doctors prove it? he said no but as we speak, he can feel a strange death start to move in

danny’s mind is good til it gets real bad, skipping through the logic and the basic facts. danny’s just a man whose thoughts fight back so i said

danny look me in the eyes, you still have a pulse and your body’s breathing. all your blood is trapped inside, when you go to sleep your hearts still beating

danny you have done your time with the fear of losing what you lack control of. if worry cannot fix your life, then try and lift your head above the hold ups

i’ve always hated my shoulders, the idea of getting older. i hate that i am bigger, my last body was a soldier. i could go back to fighting, think about her every night im kind of jealous, kind of pining for a smaller place in time

i wanna fit right in your pocket, since i was a kid what i always wanted. push it away, blow dandelions, lighter than clouds and disappear out, grow flower fields in my stomach

i’ve always hated my shoulders, the idea of getting older. i hate that i am bigger, my last body was a soldier. i could go back to fighting, think about her every night im kind of jealous, kind of pining for a smaller place in time

i wanna fit right in your pocket, since i was a kid what i always wanted. push it away, blow dandelions, lighter than clouds and disappear out, grow flower fields in my stomach

i want to tell you how i feel but i don’t really know

i wanna eat my dinner without feeling like i’ve grown

i wish that we were seventeen and on the next train home

i do not want to hurt you but i’m scared it’s in my bones

i wish i could be the way that you see me

here, i’ll forgive my thoughts now

steer it, cause i forget the dots now

was it all any more faded after all?

i don’t know, i don’t know, i don’t know

are you sure, did you call, or r id we ever really talk

i don’t know, i don’t know, i don’t know

life as an adult is so incredibly lonely lol

if anyone could’ve saved me it would’ve been you

if anyone could’ve changed me it would’ve been you

would you forgive me for everything i haven’t apologized for

i killed a part of who i was to keep you on my side

i watched you change

now i don’t know you anymore

i watched us fade

now i don’t know you anymore

something is rotten inside of me

i have to find it and cut it out

sometimes i feel like it’s too hard to relate

i saw a soft light, but it went out though

i touched you once and never again though

time, it was slowed down, my blood will run cold

like everything, it passes away

not like it’s my fault

there was a doorway, but i can’t get through though

you’re hard to talk to, know i am too though

never leave you in a bad mood, girl i promise if i had you

never leave you in a bad mood, all my life i wish i had you

i know it’s for the better

i am not ok

sometimes i think about what it would be like if we were still regularly in each others lives but i’m pretty positive that you wouldn’t like the person i am now. so i will just daydream instead

recently got hired at a new job and quit after working only one single shift because my mental health is so bad that i literally panic when having to leave my house. i get so anxious when i am anywhere but home but when i’m home all the time i feel so disconnected and lonely and like i’m wasting my life away

i don’t think i have any choice other than trying to get medicated again and that is a very nerve wracking thought considering the last medication i took for my anxiety kind of made it worse and the side effects i was experiencing didn’t feel worth it

i’m really sad and every day i am just beating myself up wondering why things that are seemingly so easy for other people feel literally impossible to me. i spend so much time just wanting to feel normal

i’m waiting by my phone

i know you’re busy, and i’ve got this heart shaped hole

and i know you don’t have the time

i’m forgetting what you sound like, what i wouldn’t give to argue now