Somebody give this poor baby a treat

more baby animals here

NOTICE:

Due to the lack of cicadas so far this summer I will climb the trees and scream in their absence

Why do we gotta even change presidents??? Ya know……Obama’s pretty cool,,he can just stay it’s cool please don’t leave us we’re all going to die

me standing in a rainstorm: What the fuck is this…… communist water… with free handouts from the sky how will anyone have the incentive to work

What’s really funny is in some states it’s illegal to collect rainwater beyond a certain volume

you know what? i’m not even surprised anymore

It gets even better/worse. The reason this is a law is because the states view the rainwater as their property. As in. It belongs to the state, and collecting rainwater is stealing.

How is rainwater anyone’s property did they firm a contract with the elements or what the fuck

Welcome to capitalism 101, kids. Today we’re gonna learn how to fucking OWN THE RAIN ☔ 💰 ☔

When you stop petting your cat and it does the thing.

boy positivity

chubby boys? curvy boys? skinny boys? bony boys? thick boys? muscley boys? short boys? tall boys? trans boys? fem boys? masc boys? hey. youre all cute boys. you especially. good job. your jawline looks hot and your shoulderblades are hella sexy and you got a cute bum and if u got a tum then holy shit sonny hold me back cuz boy tums are fuckin great i swear. if you wanna wear makeup, go bro u do it, errybody looks fine with their eyebrows done and fleek eyeliner, if youre not for that then hey man thats cool too you look great either way. you wanna work out? way to go bud that rocks! you wanna stay home and eat? same man thats livin the dream. short hair? fuckin cool. long hair? hardcore bro, hardcore. you rule. always no matter what, you rock.

I think Nightmare is having an existential crisis

in elementary school we used to have pizza parties at the end of the year

now we just have exams and tears

YO THIS GIRL JUST STRAIGHT UP CAME OVER TO MY LITTLE TABLE AT THE FOOD COURT IN THE MALL AND KNOCKED MY SHIT OFF OF IT CLAIMING I WAS HAVING SEX WITH HER DUDE. I ALMOST GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH A HEAVY SET RACIALLY AMBIGUOUS WOMAN. HER BOYFRIEND WAS THERE AND CAME OVER AND THEY STARTED ARGUING ABOUT HOW I WASN'T REALLY THE GIRL AND IM LIKE BRUH, MY LOADED FRIES THOUGH. I WAS PISSED. I MADE THAT GIRL GET ME ANOTHER LOADED FRY AND LEMONADE AND TOLD HER TO LEAVE HIS WACK AS IF HE MAKES HER ACT LIKE THAT. ESPECIALLY IF HE DIDNT EVEN HAVE MONEY ON HIM TO BUY ME ANOTHER LOADED FRY KNOWING DAMN WELL HE WAS PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE TOO. THERE IS A MORAL TO THIS STORY AND I FEEL LIKE I'D BE DOING ALL OF YOU A DISSERVICE IF I DID NOT SHARE IT: ALWAYS COUNT YOUR FRIES. COUNT OTHER PEOPLES FRIES. COUNT ALL FRIES. BECAUSE I WAS ALMOST DONE WITH MY LOADED FRIES. IT WAS ONLY LIKE FOUR FRIES LEFT. AND I GOT A WHOLE NEW ONE FOR FREE BECAUSE THOSE TWO WEREN'T SMART ENOUGH TO LOOK ON THE GROUND AND COUNT FOR THEMSELVES. THIS IS A TRUE STORY AND I AM CACKLINGGGGG

mailman: *tries to put mail in my doors mail slot*

me: *shoves my sword through and goes for the knees*

cool girls are everywhere but its such a challenge to find one guy thats like mildly interesting to talk to……. it’s like they all have the personality of an actual adidas sandal

Maybe you’re a bitch

i mean i definitely am but youre still boring

found a Nice Guy? dont friendzone him. end zone him. throw him on the ground like an effing football. touchdown

nice guy finally scores

I used to get mad when men would make jokes about how women’s periods make them irrational, but now I just remember that during Victorian times, a table’s legs were thought to arouse men so they invented table cloths to cover them up so men wouldn’t get erections during dinner

I might cry for no reason but at least I’ve never gotten a BONER for a fucking TABLE

IM DONE WITH CLASSES WOOPWOOP still got 4 final exams tho