Sketches featuring Link and my Zelda OCs.
Aquarium date and butterfly garden date 🐋🦋
Characters I share with @ivanhoenineteenninetyfour
My favourite Leonardo gifs. Blame the submarine. It was literally - submarine - titanic - titanic the movie avoid - watch Romeo + Juliet instead = damn, Leo was beautiful.
Sigh... I want this phase to be over very quick.
It's been a while chile...
Man, we had a good lil run of good luck and now it's gone and got tough again... I'm really drained and once again having to deal with snakey people with limited self awareness.
I know better, I guess, but it doesn't make it easier to deal with.
all I can do is try my best and hope really... I really hope it goes well.
Crazy things & motive
Been gone for a while. ‘Crazy tings are happening’ in the words of Tems.
I don’t really know where to start tbh. I can’t even properly process the craziness... but it’s the only real thing assured at the moment.
It sounds crazy but in times like this the best thing to do is to stay positive and keep on. One thing I realised is I’m the ultimate champion of my life. And I always need to remember that.
I can’t even count the things I have to do... I really can’t.. and my house is so full this holiday period I don’t have peace to operate or even think without some disturbance.
My dream seems to feel further and further away and my fight is weaning. ... sometimes I remember the words of my old mentor ‘you drive your own destiny’. You know, so I can keep trying, that’s all I can really do at this point... to keep trying and keep hoping...that’s all I have.
However it ends up I wan’t to make sure I have no regrets, that if it was a song I was singing that dug deep and I sang my heart out... it’s so tough when the motivation isn't there, and when the situation is so uncomfortable but what is a story without the trials. And I suppose, I’ve sang in the storm so many times before...
I’m glad I came here to vent. Because I really should just get up and start. I’m so thankful I was left with so many good words to get myself together again. Sometimes all it takes is a few good words.
En londoner i ... rAndoM placEs turned 8 today! Wow a whole 8 Years lol
Ag
It’s been a while. I’m kinda in the throws of trying to figure out what to focus on.
Wondering Heart...
Yesterday I wrote a poem about Nostalgia.
Whenever I get super nostalgic, it means I’m not happy, not just that it means something is bugging me a lot.
Now I’m just thinking, in the next couple of years, where do I want to live, what do I want to do, achieve.... what will make me content?
I’ve been thinking deeply.
Big deep...
Right now I feel like I’m fighting. Even when there are successes, I can’t celebrate, even to myself because there’s always more to do.
To do, to do, to do. More ideas, more audacity more more more.
So much. So much to fix, people to help...
I’m tired. But so long as I’m here... in the battleground, all that there is to do is fight. I feel a little scared sometimes, and I’m tired. But I guess... if not me then who?
Me? ..... At times I wonder if I’m as surprised as they are.
Eagle, flies above the other birds... ? - We’ll see. ...There U go.
...God and audacity.
A cocktail of creation and brewed ideas. I’ve decided to go hard, perhaps for another year then focus on myself... let’s see what happens.
#Godspeed
Omo Lying dude
I experienced one of the lying Yoruba guys recently lol.
Cut a long story short. Met dude at the gym, went out to eat a couple times. He paid... but there were so many contradictions in his story. lol
Either way, I’m happy in a way because it’s given me clarity
At this point, it’s better to have peace of mind
So I guess I’m back to where I was supposed to be, working, focusing and trying to tick off all these ideas. I just hope the focus is maintained.
A two in one knight
lol, titles.
I’ve just read through my blog a little. Just to clarify a few things to myself.
- It helps reading this back. Realise how much of a mope I can be.
I’m worried about:
1) The current uncertainty of life here in Britain, nothing is done without reason and I fear they’ll be a lot of instability that will arise in the coming months. It’s like the calm before the storm and to be honest, I don’t wanna be in this location if anything happens, but where do I go? I’m not as brave as I once was. Nor do I have the same audacity/self-belief as I did at 19. Plus, I’m a wage slave here. sigh.
2) Work... I actually don’t mind what I do, for the most part, sometimes it can be quite interesting. But, I’m tired of certain kinds of people... like, anxiety tired. ...just fed up tbh.
3) I’m legit void of intimacy, but that I could cope with, I think at around 22 I decided I wanted to have a family. I still do, but when I think about how that will happen I kinda get overwhelmed with confusion. If I don’t make any changes I’ll get to 35 then 40 and be like... deep, I’m still single and no family. The daunting thing is that I have to be “proactive”. That very word pisses me off, proactivity seldom works for oddballs like moi.
That said, I’m taking myself out for valentines day and on the weekend. Try some new food n that. lol
Let it Burna
I used to think I had freckles but they were just chickenpox scars.
I was just browsing through twitter, which I must say isn’t common. And I saw Burna and Stefflon Don were dating. Which I fink is adorable if ya arsk me.
But, it was the way he revealed it that got me in my feelings. She was sleeping on his chest and he panned the camera phone down and captured her face resting there.
Then I remembered - toxic memory alert. It’s always the memories that get me. I wish I could feel happy about them but it always leaves me feeling somehow.
A weekend a few years back I was on the train from Dover with my ex and I fell asleep whilst we were watching some Tyler Perry movie. Sometime after we were looking at photos he took on his phone and I noticed these random train photos of me sleeping on his lap.
I don’t properly remember the reason he gave but, I had never felt that way before. That someone would care to take such an arbitrary photo of me.
I try not to let my mind go there but it catches me off guard sometimes.
I end up playing back the conversation we had “telling me to move on” over which helps.
“I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone...”
Tbh, I dunno how people do it. Break up with this person here, and get with the next then break up makeup and...etc, etc.
It’s actually long. So long, but I know, hopefully as time goes on it’ll get easier. I have so much to do. Seriously, like it’s not even funny.
Let go
I’ve been listening to Joe Rogan a lot recently, and.... I’ve been thinking.
I’ve been in a funk for a while but, I feel like it’ll subside soon.
I had my exam retakes which I probably failed again. I’m hoping to tell my boss. I’ll ask to pay for the 3rd retake and start studying now. I just didn’t know what I was supposed to know, and I wasn't time efficient.
What else has been off... I put on weight, I was doing so well...
Mmm, what else... there are so many things. So many.
Let go of this that, that dude who’s not really into you... I need to skate more. Get new skates.
Ultimately I need to let go. When I think people are laughing at me, when I think people are doing xxx to me. In reality, I need to let go. At the end of the day. I’m living my life. And I can’t let them put a cloud over me and my experience here for nothing.