Jerza Week 2023 - Peace / War

The day began perfectly for Jellal. He woke up five minutes before his alarm clock rang. Morning sunlight infiltrated his room through the curtain, which signified it was a sunny day. After going through his morning routine in the bathroom and having a light breakfast, he dressed in the clothes he already picked last night before sleeping and left his home. 

It was a little bit cool outside and the air was crispy in the autumn season, but the weather was generally pleasant. He got into the car parked outside his house, which he rented yesterday, and drove to Erza's place. The road was quiet during the holiday and he arrived at Erza's place ten minutes earlier than their meeting time. 

When Erza came out from her house and saw Jellal, she beamed and greeted him good morning. The warmth of her smile and the sweetness of her voice melted Jellal’s heart instantly.

Jellal had everything planned for his first date with Erza. They watched a comedy movie which made them laugh from the bottom of their hearts. The restaurant at which he had reserved a table for lunch not only offered a fantastic view of a beautiful beach, but also one of the most popular parfaits in town. The satisfied look on Erza’s face when she enjoyed the dessert was so adorable that it made his heart flutter. Having filled their stomachs with delicious food, he took Erza to the nearby nature park to spend the afternoon sightseeing. They were amazed by the wonders of nature, and happy to have each other’s company  to share the experience. 

Things went so smoothly, too smoothly, that Jellal almost questioned if it was only a dream. From his extensive experience, Jellal Fernades was a man who was closely linked to misfortune that it was a regularity to have obstacles appear unexpectedly which interrupted whatever he had planned. He thought that it might be that Erza, who always had a positive vibe in her, had made a positive influence on him too.

It didn’t take long for Jellal to realize that his thought was a bit too naive and he should never draw the conclusion before the day was over, when the car broke down on their way to dinner. He tried to fix the car but he was not familiar with the machine at all, and could finally accept that he needed to call the rental car shop for help. 

“Sorry, Erza.” Jellal apologized in a dejected tone. “They said it will take them at least two hours to come. And we have to cancel our dinner booking.”

“No worry.” Erza only smiled reassuringly at Jellal. “Let’s take a rest while waiting for the rescue to come.”

She took Jellal’s hand, making him follow her to a tree at the roadside. She took off her shoes and sat down under the tree, and asked Jellal to do the same. Jellal obliged without question, sitting down beside her. 

Jellal crossed his arms and looked up at the sky. Seeing the familiar stars twinkling in the clear night helped to lessen some bitterness he felt over the candle light dinner which had been canceled, but if not, would have been the perfect ending for their first date.

Being deep in his own thoughts, Jellal was slightly startled when hearing Erza sneezed. He immediately took off his coat and placed it over Erza’s shoulders. 

“Thanks.” Erza leaned against Jellal; their shoulders touching. “Not only for the coat, but for everything today, Jellal.”

Jellal uncrossed his arms and scratched his head. “You are welcomed. But I’m truly sorry for the broken car and for making you wait for rescue in the wild and endure the chills and starve for the night.”

“You remember saying that you will no longer beat yourself up over every failure you made, Jellal?”

“I did.” Jellal nodded slightly.

“Good. And I don’t think the broken car can even be counted as your fault. It may be a little bit cold to stay outside at night and it’s a pity that we have to cancel the dinner, but these are all no big deal. So there’s really no need for you to apologize for the circumstances we are in now, which is beyond your control.”

Jellal fell into a moment of silence as he digested what Erza said.

“Alright.” He breathed a sigh as he felt his mood improving after he took in Erza’s advice. 

“I really enjoyed everything we did today.” Erza continued, speaking softly. “Even though we do nothing like now, simply quietly staying together under the night sky, I can still enjoy the moment.” Erza turned her head to look at Jellal with a timid smile. “Because you are with me. It is what matters to me.”

Jellal held Erza’s gaze for a long moment before he turned his head away; his face blushing a little. 

“Thank you, Erza. Your words mean a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.”

Jellal could feel that whatever negative emotions he had felt before, all disappeared in the air now. He recalled every single moment he spent with Erza for the day, and all her sweet smiles and hearty laughters. He finally accepted that their first date was still a perfect one even though they ended up spending the night in the wild without food. They were together, sharing good things and facing difficulties together, which was what matters. 

He wrapped his arm around Erza’s shoulders, pulling her closer, as he found peace at heart.

Jerza Week 2023 - Dream / Nightmare

“Jellal? Jellal?”

Jellal woke up to Erza’s voice, gentle but laced with anxiety at the same time. He struggled to open his eyes; his eyelids felt moist and unusually heavy. When he finally pried his eyes open, the first thing he saw was Erza’s worried face. His heart clenched at the sight, and his brain, in its hazy state, tried to make sense of Erza’s expression.

Have I done something……?

The question slipped away before Jellal opened his mouth when he felt a comfortable warmth covering one side of his face. Erza palmed his face with a firmness which nonetheless felt tender on his skin, as if she was holding some fragile treasure. She studied his face with a concerned gaze as she blushed his cheek with her thumb and left a trace of wetness. It was then Jellal realized that his face had been tainted with his own tears. 

Why was I crying in my sleep……

“You okay?” Erza asked cautiously.

"You will only bring disaster to Erza."

Jellal's eyes widened as pieces of his nightmare flashed through his mind.

"Simon." The name fell from his trembling lips in a barely audible sound.

Erza took a deep breath as worry clouded her eyes. She slid her hand to the back of Jellal's head and wrapped her arm around his head in a protective manner.

"I've told you." She whispered in a gentle voice which meant for soothing Jellal. "We will bear the weight of Simon's death together. I'm not letting you take on it alone and be crushed by it."

Jellal didn't respond, or look up at Erza, only wrapped his arm around her waist and held her tightly against him, breathing in her scent. He needed the evidence that she was alive and safe.

The nightmare, which haunted him not once, but numerous times since he broke his own rule and welcomed Erza into his life, began with him being tied down on the ground, surrounded by darkness and silence. A woman's painful cry sliced through the space next and darkness started to retreat. The scene unfolding in front of him was Erza covered in blood and wounds, being tortured by those who lost their lives because of him - from Zeref's cultists and slaves in the Tower to mages of dark guilds. 

The only victim of his who didn't take their revenge on Erza was Simon. The bulk man stood beside him, looking down at him with disgust. He screamed and cried, begging Simon to save Erza, and struggled to break the restraints, just like a mad dog.

"I had already saved Erza with my life once from you and I can do no more. Why did you not learn from the past and stay away from her? You should have known that you will only bring disaster to Erza by staying at her side, with all the sin you have committed and the hate you have planted remain unresolved.”

Jellal took a deep breath to calm himself as the scene of Erza exhaling her last breath in his nightmare replayed in his head. 

“It wasn't Simon's death.” He said quietly before untangling himself from Erza. He raised his head, looking into her eyes, looking for her liveliness for comfort. “It was yours which I dreamed of.” 

He hated how his sound still shook, even though it was just a little bit, despite his effort in trying to keep his fear at bay. 

“I’m here.” Erza gave Jellal a smile that was full of gentleness and understanding. She took one of his hands and placed it over her chest under where her heart was beating. “And I’m alive.”

Jellal closed his eyes to let the steady rhythm of Erza’s heartbeat soothe him. It was a relief to be reassured by Erza that she had not just died in reality. However,  he could not help but think again of the words Simon said in his nightmare. 

Even though he had always known the risks he could be bringing to Erza, Erza was drawing him in with her brightness and warmth, like flame drawing in moths. Before he knew it, he had already held her between his arms. He tried to convince himself that might be, just might be, he does not have to reject love in order to atone for his sins. 

But his guilty self just would not let him take the easy route. Taking the form of the person who represented his sins the best, he was reprimanding him for breaking his own rule, getting side-tracked from the path of redemption and risking the safety of his loved one. 

Jellal opened his eyes again. In front of him was Erza looking at him with a caring gaze filled with her love for him. He heaved a sign. He didn’t want to lose her. But it might be better to let her go.

“Ever since we have been together, I have got this nightmare in which you died in the hands of the people who were victimized by me.” He finally decided to be honest with Erza about his fear. “Simon in my nightmare……he was a symbol of my sins. He reminded me……it is dangerous to let you enter my world, which is filled with unresolved hate and regret because I have not done enough to atone for my sins."

Sadness overshadowed the love in Erza’ eyes. Her lips pressed into a hard line as she tried to contain her emotions, before she leaned towards Jellal and buried her face in his chest.  

“I know the path of redemption is long, and you may never see the end of it.” She sighed. “I want to accompany you in this journey of yours to support you. But I don’t want to see you being eaten up by your guilt because of me. If my presence is causing you so much stress and pain, I can leave." 

Don't leave me. Jellal swallowed those words, feeling shameful to ask Erza to stay after hurting her feelings, but wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

“You don’t have to make the decision now.” Erza said as softly and as tenderly as she could, but couldn’t help sounding slightly dejected when she spoke. “And I’m not abandoning you. Never. I just feel that you may need some time and space to……rethink when will enough be enough, and what you want to achieve in this endless path of atonement. I know you will find the right answer. I have faith in you. So, please have better faith in me too. Please know that I’m not afraid of facing any danger. Being a Fairy Tail’s mage already puts me in danger anyway. I can handle whatever comes at me, being called Titania not for nothing. You don’t have to worry about my safety.”

“Forgive my weakness, Erza. I know the reason behind the nightmare is always my problem, not yours, and only I can solve it.” Jellal pulled back from Erza a little; his hand reached out to hold her face. Erza looked up and their gaze crossed. “You are my light, guiding me whenever I lose myself in the darkness. Having you by my side is always a dream-come-true for me, not a nightmare.”

“It’s also a dream-come-true for me to be able to stay with you.” Erza leaned forward and pressed her lips on Jellal’s. 

Kissing fiercely, as if it was their last kiss, they threw their worries to the back of their mind for the time being, losing themselves in their desire for each other which could not be more real. 

Time flies.

Love Jellal's expressions in the new chapter.