I love good bread. Like flat bread???? Bitch! Then the bread that’s hard on the outside but soft in the inside….with the fucking butter?????…..bitch…………

So relatable

This post for the bread lovers that understand

How times changed…

Twinkle toes

hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos

im thorsty

He better not fucking have

25 human years to Keanu is equivalent to like 2 minutes. he hasn’t changed outfits cuz he’s barely started his day

I think my boss knows I shouldn’t be around children or wasn’t meant to be around kids because one of my kindergarteners said he was going eat a rock and I’m like “yeah man, keeping that vitamins original, I can dig that, but let me look at first” and chucked the rock like 40 feet and was like “oooh man, now you gotta settle for whatever they feed you, like pizza or whatever.” , I wish that lady would tell me when she’s in the playground because I’m literally the most unorthodox teacher

Graduate Texts In Mathematics - An Introduction To Algebraic Topology By Joseph J. Rotman

Definitely needed that clarification 

DEAD

Fuck they murdered him

I actually am so fascinated by the 180 Wendy’s has done with their social media etiquette. Like, who was the intern or entry level Social media person who slipped up and clapped back the first time? When the team realized that it made them more successful in terms of engagement and relevance, did the management team just go “You have permission to be an asshole within reason because memes”?

“It was a fucking good table.” (x)

this video from finn’s insta is both terrifying and wonderful and i don’t know how to feel 

How Do I Explain To My Cat That Stepping On My Boobs Hurts 

feel ok to me ? feet do not hurt

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

oh shit

Make every mythical monster a bear in your campaign

this image clearly isn’t in america but it gives off a strong midwestern energy