this is better than any poem a man has ever written

so weightwatchers released an app for kids - a diet app for kids (!!!!) down to the age of eight (8) years old.

this is literally an app that is supposed to have children track their food intake, and their energy output, every damn day, with the purpose of them losing weight. it does before and after photos, and uses this system that is a “stoplight system”, so bad foods are red, medium is yellow and good is green.

when you sign up you have to put in your goal and one of the choices is “to make my parents proud”.

this is basically an app designed to shame children, and indoctrinate eating disorders into them.

what the hell is wrong with people????!!!!

also, apparently oprah is supporting this shit so screw her.

i am so damn mad. this is child abuse, and the weightwatchers cult is making money off of it.

here’s a petition to have the app taken down

Petition for the tumblr staff to use this gif 

instead of this 

I’m sending him a friend request LMAO

musicians only Dark Millenials will remember:

the othe genre of 2008-2010s Dark Millenial music:

This is not how I wanted to find out I’m a Dark Millennial. I hate this post.

The pink one so terrify

ok this is really sweet

[captions]

Girl: “You glue them on.”

Dude 1: [very confused] “Why would you do that? I don’t glue mine on.”

Dude 2: [also confused] “Yeah, what the fuck?”

Girl: “Have you never heard of gluing them on?”

Dude 2: [incredulous] “No!”

Girl: “Watch this.” [she removes her eyelash]

Dude 1: [slightly panicked] “No, I- STOP.” 

Dude 2: [shocked gasp] [pause] [concerned] “Do you still have eyelashes?”

Girl: [laughs]

LMAOOO IM CRYING GHIS IS SO CUTE

Lmaoooo smart kid

He’s so happy people laughed at his joke

This made my whole day. Literally

So I’m hyperventilating a little so if I fall over, pick me up because I’ve got a few things to say.

wow…

Mother Nature has had enough

whoa

When I was a very small child, my mom used to bury coins in my sandbox, leave huge boot prints in the sand, and tell me pirates had come in the night and buried treasure. I would be out there happily for hours, with my little sieve, and my mom got a quiet morning to herself for the price of a handful of pennies.

I was always kind of skeptical about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable. But the pirates only visited me, so they were probably real.

So that’s the story of how I ended up being an archaeologist. How about you?

More Dog Snapchats On Bored Panda

We don’t deserve dogs.

I went to a presentation that showed by thousands of years of breeding we’ve bred a bit of our own selves into dogs and made them the most human companions of man.