Can’t Believe I’m Still On Tumblr

in my defense for everything i do im literally a pretty pretty princess

My boyfriend's professor doesn't believe I exist, so I sent this email

And his professor responded with this

thank you prev

obsessed with this out-of-pocket behavior

i will chew through the fucking gag

I will develop spontanious stephen king-like telekinesis to stop this.

Another story from the aquarium is that a seal had just given birth and I was talking to one of the seal keepers and asked if seals mate for life and she said no, the mom has now moved on and is trying to mate with another female seal. The male apparently couldn’t care less about either her or the pup, and apparently the other female seal is now playing with the baby seal and helping to teach him how to seal. Bisexual top mom and her girlfriend, who is not the step seal but the seal who stepped up. Anyway imagine if you had an absentee father but he lives in the same house as you, sure it’s a big house but you see each other all the time he just never talks to you.

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

true mutuals (and i mean TRUE) won’t judge you for your unhinged horny posting.

(art by @theshitpostcalligrapher)

hey. why can i enable subliminal weight loss mantras in bejeweled 3

Bejeweled hypno kink

I wonder how hard it would be to mod in new ones

subliminal mantra of giving me fat tiddies

Sublingual estrogen of giving you fat tiddies

It's easy enough to mod in that it's on the mind control games wiki!

It's VERY easy @foone

To make custom files for Bejeweled-- All you have to do is just paste a text file with a bunch of words into the appropriate folder--

Sleepyhead is the admin of Mindcontrol.fun and she and I trade txt files for this purpose ALL OF THE TIME.

Literally it takes less than 30 seconds.

Go to your Bejeweled Folder and select affirmations

Open or create a txt document

Type whatever you want, each new line is a new message that will play out on the screen

AND THAT'S IT. You have created a Bejeweled Hypnosis File!

Awesome. Thank you for your service

diversity loss this trans man is just as much of an emotionally unavailable avoidantly attached brick as any cis guy

he has a pussy yes but does he have a heart. post cancelled that sounds like a taylor swift lyric

my boy he has a pussy but he doesn't have a heart

he's playing games with me just like i'm mario from kart

i'm a published writer btw

sorry to subject you to anything related to hamilton in the year of our lord 2024 but this is slaying me

stop showing me taylor swift lyrics that's scary