if i die before my favorite show ends then use an ouija board to keep me updated about what happens next

thoughts on the friendzone

when i was 5 years old my best friend was a boy named kyle who didn’t know how to knock on doors so he made dinosaur noises outside my window to wake me up in the summer until i demonstrated how to ball his fists and slam them against my doors.  we collected caterpillars in my trailer park and built them houses while we traded pokemon cards.  he wasn’t the only one.  there was ben, and mitch, and noah—but kyle’s the only one who hurt me, because when he tried to kiss me and i asked him why, he told me “because you’re a girl and i’m a boy, shouldn’t we like each other?”

i missed him so much and i wondered why he couldn’t just be my friend like he always was

in the first grade there was rich and joseph and i got sent to detention with them almost every day with a smile on my face.  we built block towers and sang to my teacher’s lion king soundtracks when she’d turn the lights off during lunch time.  one day they got in a fist fight over me at recess, and i wondered why they felt they needed to share my friendship, like it was something they owned.

in the second grade zach and i played yu gi oh under our desks during free time and i got moved for talking to him constantly.  everyone in the class would tease him and i for talking, asking when we were going to date already, asking him if he’d kissed me, and he stopped being my friend.

when i was 11 i met a chubby boy with the name of a colour who wore puffy vests and unwashed t-shirts, with greasy hair and bright blue eyes and a smile that hid hurt behind it.  people didn’t like him because he was silly, but i liked him, because i was also silly.  he became my friend the day he bought me 5 giant roses and asked me to be his girlfriend, and i politely declined but promised him i’d be his best friend because i’d always wanted a best guy friend that stuck around. we burnt our feet on the concrete during the summer and walked home with the sunset silhouetting us.  he talked often about how he loved me, but never blamed me for being me, even though he refused to move on. that boy dyed his hair jet black and sat on the end of my bed playing songs to me on guitar, and all that pent up rage from before didn’t show until the first time he slapped me across the face and called me a dumb cunt.

in the 7th grade there was a boy named ryan who sat next to me on the bus and talked to me about manga.  he’d ask me personal invasive questions but i didn’t mind because it was attention and i liked attention.  i was dating another guitarist with curly brown hair, one who was much more kind-tempered than the other, and ryan mentioned how much of an asshole he was every day.  i wondered, why, why does he think the love of my life is an asshole?  but whenever i asked him, he just told me, “girls only date assholes.  there’s no room for nice guys like me.”

i wondered, if he was so nice, why did he say such mean things?

he never stopped with me, taking me to movies, hanging out with me, you know.  being friendly.  i thought we were friends.  but then, how many times had i thought that before?

how many times had i bonded with a boy, thought they got me, only for them to ask me if i wanted to make out?

how come when i told ryan i was coming out as a lesbian, he stopped being my friend, and said “damnit, the one girl i really want to pound into a mattress, and she’s only interested in chicks!”

there was a boy my junior year who stayed up all night with me until the sun rose, talking about life, past loves, hopes, dreams.  beneath a million twinkling stars spanning forever, he brushed long brown hair out of his eyes and listened to me talk about the history that made me. then he asked me if i’d ever consider dating a guy, and complained about how he’d never get laid.

when i told him no a couple hundred times, he found new girls to listen to.

i would sit on the couch and play zelda with dakota, and he’d talk about all my favourite games with me.  he was the closest thing to support i had, and the letters and poems he wrote me were always so kind and friendly.  but he’d put his arms around me on the couch, and no matter how many times i told him i was uncomfortable, he’d still come over every day and do it.

“don’t you know how it feels to love someone and not have them love you back?  don’t you know what it feels like to be friendzoned?”

when i meet guys who talk about the friendzone, who talk about the girls who don’t give “nice guys” like them i chance, i always want to just say

when i was 10 years old i met a girl whose brown hair fell across her shoulders and whos eyes sparkled when the sunlight hit them, whose voice was like velvet and whose scent was like mountain smoke, who made me dizzier than a fly climbing a sugar hill.  and i’m 18 years old, and i still love her, and she knows, and she doesn’t love me.

but my first thoughts upon hearing her rejection were not “what a bitch,” were not “she just wants a douchebag and not a nice girl like me!” were not “im going to keep pushing her until she dates me,”

they were

“she is the best friend i have ever had, and i am the best she’s ever had, and i would hate to take that away from her.”

so before you play the victim, mr. Nice Guy, before you angrily throw your fedora on the ground and blame the girl you claim to adore so much:

put yourself in the shoes of a girl who thought she made a wonderful friend, only to find out that he just wanted her for sex.  that he just wanted her for a relationship.  a girl who was just an object to win, a prize.  a girl who’s trust you’ve just shattered.

maybe she friendzoned you.  but you girlfriendzoned her, first.

Even if you don’t read it all, read the last sentence. Then you will understand so much about me and other girls.

I will defend my favorite band member faster than myself

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

3th time i’ve reblogged this

3th

tumblr people love this. reddit people love this. 4chan scum loves this. there is just something intrinsically hilarious about none pizza with left beef. bless 

I like that the chef didn’t even bother to cut it into 8 actual slices.

averyiscoldpizza  :))))))))

true gender equality

this is the money minaj, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!! 

I just found $2 in my pussy omg!!!!

see it really works!!

SHOUTOUT TO THAT ONE PERSON THAT HEARS YOU WHEN YOU’RE TALKING IN A GROUP AND SMILES OR REPLIES SO YOU DONT FEEL LIKE A TWAT

GUYS

So no doubt quite a few people have heard about Front Porch Step the musician, and what he’s done recently. For those of you who don’t know he’s an acoustic musician, who has sexually harassed and targeted many of his fans- resulting in him being kicked off warped tour because he does not create a safe environment for young female fans.

His name is Jake Mcelfresh, and now he’s trying to sue his girlfriend claiming that she ‘slandered’ him and ruined his reputation- which was his own trashy fault because of his actions against underage girls. She needs money to help get a lawyer to fight against him and his own lawyers, but not only that he is trying to make her pay for all the court costs.

Please at least reblog this, and if any of you can donate because she’s close to getting what she needs to defend herself. Real Friends is amazing for speaking out in this issue, I’ve seen them make many comments on Front Porch Step and how he’s not created the safe, much needed escape for fans looking to music to help/comfort them. please donate/reblog to stand against this man

I really hope this gets notes, please stand up for this woman and all the girls he’s harassed- we need to stand up for our fellow gals.

Reminder for those who don’t know, if you have a vagina, make sure to urinate immediately after you have P-in-V sex.  Bacteria can get in your urethra during P-in-V intercourse so as soon as you are done having sex, go to the bathroom to pee, even if it doesn’t feel like you need to, because even a little pee can flush out the bacteria and prevent a UTI.  I didn’t know about this and I got a UTI from my first time, and it was super awful and uncomfortable and unfortunately even those with good sex education rarely learn info like this.  I want everyone with a vagina to know how to prevent it because UTIs suck hard.  That is all.

Sex ed in this country is utterly worthless, always reblog. Never known when it might be seen with new eyes. Also, penis units should share with their vagina units if they don’t do this.

Reblog if you think Carter Reynolds is a literal piece of shit

trying to prove a point to someone

help me out guys. reblog this, like this. for every note, everything is pushed back a day for him. I need your help. he doesn’t believe it’s possible to help him. but it’s entirely possible, especially with your help. I know these are so sporadic and cliché to an extent along with becoming so popular on here, but please. I appreciate every single note

u ok

moon emoji

white girls

So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.

they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change

Oh, they were.

Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister! Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous

Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo

You also have these baby teenage mutant ninja turtles to protect you.

This is actually such a good tactic for people with serious anxiety problems. Thank you. Really. Omg.

Also immunity cat protects your blog from “if you don’t reblog I’m judging you” posts

!!!