Today was a day of firsts in my tattoo career. Thanks Jesse for trusting me! #rideordie (at Alpenglow- S. Carey)

Just a couple of my favorites that I've done in 2015.

6pm in New York- Drake

Current Musings

Lately I have been bumming cause I only hang out with my school friends like once or twice every couple of weeks because of work. They still all go to house parties and house shows that I really can't go to if I work early in the morning. So last night I went out with them even though I had to work at 8 just cause I wanted to spend time with them. One word to describe my time last night: dissatisfying. I was sober the whole night, the bands sucked (except for abbey's she killed it), and i was surrounded by people who were mostly two- three years younger than me. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed seeing my friends and hanging out with them. I love all of them a lot and I'm thankful for any time that I get to be around them.  The setting and environment in general is what sucked. Like most house parties do.

When I lived in Seattle, I felt like I was missing out. I really wanted to live that stereotypical college life where you go to house parties, get black out, and hook up with randos. That was appealing to me. I even wrote a poem about it.. But now that I have spent the past year doing it, I'm still left feeling dissatisfied and unamused. There is no fulfillment in it. Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of fun and have made some great stories. Just ask my about my UT/VT weekend from last year. That was gold. But it's just not something that I really enjoy doing. The fact that I have to actually black out in order to have a good time at these parties is a testament to that.

I thought something the while I was in the shower today though. Throughout my entire life, I have never enjoyed these type of social events. When I was 6 and my parents would host parties, I would run around and spy on people or try to steal their beer. Me and my friends never went to parties in middle school cause we liked to vandalize the neighborhood and just be dirt bag little kids. We would throw stuff at cars, steal stuff, tag buildings, smoke cigars, mess with fireworks. We would sometimes walk 16 miles in a day just making up stuff up along the way like cardboard sledding down a hill, or climbing the roofs of retail stores, or streaking on golf courses. In high school, it was the same thing. We all experimented with drugs and alcohol but it was never in a party setting. It was always in the forest behind one of our houses. We were just so much more adventurous than hiding in our parents basements trying to get drunk. 

All of this to say, I have tried all of the "adult" ways to have fun and they just aren't. I want to go for a walk, see a hill, and go climb to the top of it. I want to overlook the city with a bottle of wine. I want to build a fort in the woods. Start a fire in the middle of nowhere. Go hot tub hopping at 2 am. Go skinny dipping in the ocean. Drive to a mountain top to watch the sunrise. Skate the biggest hill I can find. Go kayaking at midnight. Get high and go to a drive-in movie. Drive three hours in the wrong direction then turn around. These are the things I want to do. Idk. maybe my friends here just have different ideas of fun and i need to get used to that. maybe its time for me to move again. maybe i force my friends to do these things with me. idk. All in all, partying is cool but the only time that I feel whole is when I am outside of boundaries and lately I've felt too confined.

last semester i paid my roommate $40 to write 500 words on Amazon's impact on book prices. today i created a name, logo, and wrote a 9 page business model in my free time. this is why school is horse shit and a waste of time and money.