Checking in

It’s been a while, Tumblr. I thought I’d lost all my followers by now. How’s everyone doing? I’m in my last year of university, with around two terms left. Then I’m flying home to get married. Well, I’ve been civilly married for a while now. I can’t wait to reunite with the love of my life. We’ve been separated for almost five years, you know? 

Hey, we bought a house. It’s a really, really nice one. I got my own room, a walk in closet, and a bathroom. It’s quite spacious for one person if you ask me. But it’s time I get my personal space. Can’t wait to finally live in a better place and feel like all my efforts are going somewhere.

I’m going back to school next week. I’ll be an undergrad, so I’m essentially fulfilling those missing two years I didn’t have because K-12 wasn’t in effect when I graduated HS. I’m pretty stoked and nervous at the same time. I’ll have work to pay bills, that’s why. And what if I’m not as smart anymore?

But I wanted this. I deserve to see what else I can offer. Can’t wait to prove that this girl from UP got the brains, too!

The pandemic is almost over here in Canada (I think), but I’m still wary because we are having an early reopening by July 1st despite having a small percentage of people fully vaccinated.

If we spiral back to stage one because of this, I’m gonna riot. I’m so tired of fighting with customers over policies. So tired of not knowing when this is gonna end. Vaccines work, for sure. But I just wish conservative politicians use their heads sometimes.

I guess I haven’t posted anything positive for a while so here ya go:

1. I finally accepted the promotion for managerial position! More responsibilities = Better compensation. Wouldn’t hurt to get extra cash because!!!!

2. I am going back to school! I got into the Honors Program of BA Polisci at the U of A. It sucks because I have to do a full two years, but I got maximum credits transferred (which is rare!). Honours program will also get me to the grad school that I want. I’m just a little anxious since it has been a while, and I have a GPA to maintain. Studying would be a piece of cake if I don’t have work. AGGHHH.

Things are going well for me lately. That hasn’t happened for a long time. I’m so thrilled to be moving on with my life.

Sometimes, you just need someone to tell you that you should be treated better, and that it is not your fault.

Not my time

So recently, I got rejected for applying to an MA program. There was no explanation whatsoever. I was fine with it, and I moved on and did a more in-depth research about other universities. 

And bam! I learned that I did not meet the minimum requirement to have a four-year bachelor’s degree. It’s because we didn’t have the K-12 education in the Philippines when I was in high school. It sucks because I already spent lots to get my TOEFL, and I also paid for that application. Other than that, I did work on my essay...

I don’t want to leave Canada. Hence, I have made up my mind to enroll as an undergraduate student again. I do hope that I’ll only need to go back for a year. It’s not cheap. I’ll have to take out a loan.

But I am excited to go back to school!

Maybe if I choose to be mediocre, to live a humble life without dreams, I wouldn’t be this stressed out. I wouldn’t feel as if time is running out.

Funny. I do know how to get out of this mental torture. I only choose not to.

It’s so weird when relatives staying in the Philippines become so insecure. Like? Is it my fault that I can afford a lot of stuff that you can’t? I’m working my ass here. The standard of living is different. Why are you trying to make me feel awful for keeping myself intact and sane?

It should be easier for me to look away when all I could see in front of me are pretty things.

But it’s not. I’m tired, world. When is this going to end?

You’re so hard to love. I’m tired.

‪If my peace of mind is worth only a few hundreds of dollars more, I’ll take it. ‬

‪She says pick your battles—I say I pick the difficult one gearing towards social justice. I wonder what’s hers?‬