Hello?

something about substances so strong they can only be cut by that same substance (like diamond) gets to me. the self-fulfilling prophecy of it. you can armor yourself against any and all outside threats, but you're still beholden to your own nature.

*walks over to my board titled "is the desire to self-destruct innate or a learned behaviour?" and places another tally mark in the 'innate' column*

and hilariously that is not why it is called that.

It is the circle of the bears cause of ursa major and ursa minor, and the circle without bears cause ya'know opposite part of the sky.

We lucked right into that one....

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

Bears do not travel to places they cannot see their gods

I've seen this post before but it only just occurred to me that there might be some sort of underlying reason that "places where bears are" and "places where people name stars after bears" overlap.

Reblogging for that last comment.

and hilariously that is not why it is called that.

It is the circle of the bears cause of ursa major and ursa minor, and the circle without bears cause ya'know opposite part of the sky.

We lucked right into that one....

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

Bears do not travel to places they cannot see their gods

I've seen this post before but it only just occurred to me that there might be some sort of underlying reason that "places where bears are" and "places where people name stars after bears" overlap.

Reblogging for that last comment.

the thing that bothers me about dragon riders is that the dragon absolutely does not have to let you climb on its back. your ability to 'ride' the dragon is entirely dependent on the dragon allowing you to do that. it could fly just fine without you sitting there. which means you are not a dragon rider, not really. that beast is not your pet. you're the dragon's pet. you're its trophy wife.

that dragon is absolutely showing you off to all its friends and going 'look at this fucking thing i found on the ground lol'

spending 20 dollars is easy but once you do it 5 times uh oh

you should be able to spend 20 dollars at least 10 times before it adds up to one hundred dollars

It’s that time of year again when I have to remind everyone in my family that if they gift my child an elf on the shelf it will immediately become firewood because one thing mama ain’t raising in a snitch.

Things I’ve done to children instead of elf on a shelf:

So many child psychologists must know about me.

Okay but the dentist does know the tooth fairy that’s just facts

That floor is lava thing is genius

i hate that this is on “bad two sentence horror” because its actually good

why do cats have an extra bean on their wrist... what is if for..

cutting edge cat technologies

its the drift button

anti-lock beans

spare bean in case of a flat

power steering

cat control mechanism

not sure if this will make sense to anyone besides me but: the antidote to negativity is not positivity, its warmth

positivity tells a sad person that there is no reason to be sad. warmth asks the sad person if they want to go get some ice cream

Been a moment since I saw this. Glad it’s back on my dash when I needed it.

DA BRAT, MISSY ELLIOTT, AALIYAH, & LIL KIM.

People & countries mentioned in the thread:

I ran an Aliens rpg years back. But the players didn't KNOW it was an Aliens game until halfway through the first session.

They thought it was a sci-fi game but they also thought the monsters were going to be zombies.

Over a period of 2 hours they then proceeded to make EVERY Aliens movie cliche "mistake" known to man. Because at the time they all made sense.

The characters in a story don't know they're in a story or what kind of story it is.

They might think their in a romcom instead of a slasher movie. And if you're not in a slasher movie, why the fuck would you search through every closet in your house just because a cup mysteriously fell off a table in the dining room?

*jigsaw voice* hello lock picking lawyer. you've made a name for yourself showing people how to break the law. but today it is you that will be- hey. HEY. KNOCK THAT OFF