Random country: rich in oil and minding their own business 

America:

harrison: *in a completely monotone voice and like he’s given up on the entire star wars franchise* bang. bang.

carrie: *actually acting* no luke, it’s too late!

harrison: *in that same monotone voice* … bang. bang.

/harrison and carrie run offstage/

COOLIN

Marilyn ain’t got shit on this man

“YOU DONT NEED TO WEAR MAKEUP!”

I’m crying..this is my new official response to every boy who’s ever told me they liked me better without makeup 😂😂

Im fucking dead

But what a shame, what a shame the poor groom’s bride is a

TRAITOR

Do not ask for whom the hotline blings; it blings for thee

[me drawing 7s with a little line through them to impress girls in the library]: hmm. what? yes, i always draw 7s like this. it’s normal for me.

i went looking for the comic that the reaction image is from and i am not disappointed