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Whimsical Nerd

@nerdofwhimsy / nerdofwhimsy.tumblr.com

Paige \\ they/them \\ Ravenclaw \\ Handmade nerd wares: etsy.com/shop/whimsicalnerd \\ more of a queer person than a beer person \\ #RESIST
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nerdofwhimsy

It’s Project for Awesome! And that means it’s art perk time! This year I have not just my own work to share, but also my mom’s! She made the Hank and John Giving Bunnies, and I made little sets of matching Hanklerfish goodies with a notebook, a pin, and a constellation patch. If you contribute at the Nerdfighter Art perk level on the indiegogo, one of these cool perks might be yours. But if you don’t get one of these, you’ll get something else cool made by another nerdfighter.

Y’all, I cannot get over how cute and funny the picture of all 30+ BunnyBrothers hanging out together is. They’re so so cute.

I have a few extra pins and notebooks, and I’ll be selling them on Etsy in January and donating the proceeds to the Foundation to Decrease Worldsuck for next year’s P4A. Check back here or on my twitter, instagram, or Etsy shop @whimsicalnerd if you’d like one. They will go on sale within the first two weeks of the year. If there’s a lot of interest I’ll make more and try to keep them in stock to raise money for the Foundation year round!

Also, you can find my mom on twitter and instagram @CraftyNerdMom. If you get one of our perks let us know! Happy P4A and DFTBA!

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It’s Project for Awesome! And that means it’s art perk time! This year I have not just my own work to share, but also my mom’s! She made the Hank and John Giving Bunnies, and I made little sets of matching Hanklerfish goodies with a notebook, a pin, and a constellation patch. If you contribute at the Nerdfighter Art perk level on the indiegogo, one of these cool perks might be yours. But if you don’t get one of these, you’ll get something else cool made by another nerdfighter.

Y’all, I cannot get over how cute and funny the picture of all 30+ BunnyBrothers hanging out together is. They’re so so cute.

I have a few extra pins and notebooks, and I’ll be selling them on Etsy in January and donating the proceeds to the Foundation to Decrease Worldsuck for next year’s P4A. Check back here or on my twitter, instagram, or Etsy shop @whimsicalnerd if you’d like one. They will go on sale within the first two weeks of the year. If there’s a lot of interest I’ll make more and try to keep them in stock to raise money for the Foundation year round!

Also, you can find my mom on twitter and instagram @CraftyNerdMom. If you get one of our perks let us know! Happy P4A and DFTBA!

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mactiir

You're asexual? But...

“but sex is what makes us human!”

  in 1916 a French officer in his twenties writes his

doctoral dissertation under

heavy mortar fire.

he sends it by mail, a page

at a time, to his wife.

a week before he’s to step up to the podium and

defend his work rather than his country

he is killed in action.

even as the bullets rip

through him he still wishes he could have become a professor

in French literature and

the university awards him a posthumous Ph.D.

sex is

  a woman breaks down in tears on the phone because

a week is not enough time to

get over a breakup.

her sister drives an hour across town,

comes up the front steps with

a gallon of ice cream and some beer

and together they eat moose tracks and marathon

every

single

Godzilla movie

ever made.

  sex is

she’s late for work but her car isn’t

starting and even through her coat and hat she’s cold.

she knows she can’t be late again because she’s missed

one time too many already because her

father’s nurse was sick with the flu and someone

needed to help him bathe.

the clock ticks past fifteen after and she hits

the wheel like it’s a heavy bag as though that will help

steps on the gas like the car will go

and wonders how she will pay rent

and how she will feed her father.

sex is

  it takes three people to hold the predator down because

even with the cover over his head

a bleeding eye and shattered wing

he is trying to hurt them.

none of them have seen this bird before in their lives but

they bandage his wing and head and give him a painkiller and

put him in a warm place to sleep and heal because

it is right.

at first he is paralyzed and cannot

fly but soon he is taking steps

and then fluttering, and then soaring, and

six months later he is whole and healed and hunting.

once he is gone they never see him again

which means they’ve done their jobs right.

sex is

  in 1969 a girl watches grey-and-white footage on her parents’ tiny television and

can’t quite believe that what she is seeing is not a movie set but

another planet.

the men on the screen look a little like

aliens with bulbous heads and no faces and fat

marshmallow arms

but they are still men.

her mother puffs on a cigarette behind her and declares that

this is progress

even if it was just a small step.

the girl grows up to be not an astronaut but a secretary

and her boss calls her ‘sweetheart’.

but sex is

  a boy is taught that real men don’t cry so

he doesn’t.

when his best friend dies from a self-inflicted

gunshot wound, he locks himself

in the shower every day and sobs under scalding

water until it runs cold

so nobody will see him grieving

so nobody will see that tears are just love that

has no place left to go.

he learns to dull love rather than suppress its expression and

soon the owner of the liquor store knows him by name.

three DUIs, two evictions, and twelve steps later,

he is feeding people at a homeless shelter,

and telling them it’s all right to cry.

Sex is

  the broken man tells the comedian

that he didn’t mean to step in front of the car but the rain

made it hard to see.

he seems okay but his leg

does not.

the comedian clutches a grubby receipt with the driver’s

plate number scrawled on the back

in pink pen, stands out in the rain so the broken man

can have his umbrella,

and gives him the comedy routine that ruined his career

so the man doesn’t think about the pain in his leg.

once he’s out of the hospital, the fixed man sends him a thank-you card

with kittens on it.

what makes us human

  yawning is contagious,

and there is a species of bird whose young we call “pufflings”.

melodic collections of sound, spaced by silence,

can move us to tears.

the tallest building in the world is

two-thousand seven-hundred and seventeen feet tall.

in less than eighty years we went from our first powered flight

to touching the moon,

and in one-hundred from the first phone call

to instantaneous connection between thinking machines of our own creation.

we make pies out of tree organs

and let cow’s milk ferment until it hardens and then

we put them together, because apple pie with cheddar cheese isdelicious.

what makes us human is

the earliestfossils of anatomically modern humans are

two-hundred thousand years old .

we have had pet dogs

for sixteen-thousand of those years, longer

than corn

or the wheel.

the steps we take are part of

one of the most energy-efficient gaits the

animal kingdom has ever seen.

we invented the concepts of love

and hate

and justice, and mercy

and we invented the language to convey them.

we sharpened rocks, then metal, to convince other people

who don’t hold the same idea of those things as we do

because we think

it’s right.

we are two hundred millennia of love and disappointment and

sorrow and innovation and

mercy and kindness and dreams

and failure

and recovery.

“but sex is what makes us human.”

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zielahime

sat and read this all the way through. will reblog the shit out of this every time i see it. holy jesus. YES to all of this. just yes.

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Two Medieval Monks Invent Bestiaries

By Mallory Ortberg on The Toast

MONK #1: do birds have meetings MONK #2: absolutely they have a Meeting Hat and everything MONK #1: what do they have meetings about MONK #2: mostly who gets to wear the meeting hat

MONK #1: do human women sleep in beds or– MONK #2: no that’s dogs you’re thinking of MONK #1: right right

MONK #1: what part of the knight do fish go on MONK #2: the head MONK #1: thanks MONK #2: oh absolutely no problem at all MONK #1: both lying flatwise across the head, or…? MONK #2: no one on each side like ears MONK #1: ok great

MONK #1: so when a dog and a bird make out MONK #2: right MONK #1: it’s usually the bird that’s on top right? MONK #2: yeah usually MONK #1: great

MONK #1: hey is it owls or people that live in caves and build fires? MONK #2: owls

MONK #1: hey roughly what size are sparrows MONK #2: mm it kind of depends MONK #1: like AS big as a tree or not quite as big as a tree? MONK #2: oh pretty much the same size as a tree

MONK #1: can cows sail boats? MONK #2: hahaha no common misconception they have to put wheels on the boat and roll it over land

MONK #1: what do birds eat MONK #2: other birds mostly MONK #1: like different kinds of birds, or something else MONK #2: no birds only eat exactly the same kind of birds that they are

MONK #1: what kind of bird tucks people into bed at night usually I mean MONK #2: any bird any kind of walking bird MONK #1: and when it tucks you in, people usually look… MONK #2: incredibly worried it’s incredibly worrying when the bedbird tucks you in

MONK #1: ugh sorry to bother you again MONK #2: no no its fine this is what i’m here for what is it MONK #1: what part of a goat is a snail again like the front end or the back end MONK #2: what part do you feel like should be the snail part MONK #1: the back part? MONK #2: you shouldnt doubt yourself you know more about goats than you give yourself credit for

Image

MONK #1: what usually rides horses like people or– MONK #2: fire

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effington

Tbh this is the funniest post on this dumb website

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naturepunk

“It’s incredibly worrying when the bedbird tucks you in.” 

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timmanley

I will give special drawings to anyone from Tumblr who pulls themselves out of the internet world and appears IRL at this.

Can you be there??? If so, lemme know so I am PREPARED. (Maybe email timmanleytimmanley@gmail.com ?)

!!!!!

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nerdofwhimsy

Ahh! I wish I could go to this, but I will be at work. Go if you can.

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reblogged

I had the most amazing time at nerdcon: nerdfighteria! after the fact, I made a collage as a reminder of the great time I had

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nerdofwhimsy

This is really great.

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For the Whitescapes Art Assignment, I took a white piece of paper outside to photograph with the white snow on my white car. Then I came inside and recorded my observations on the paper. Transcript: 

The paper looked bright and blue against the snow, a more neutral white beneath the paper. The wind* fought my ill-prepared plan, ut I managed to get some snow on top of the paper. Against the blue, it took on a slight reddish tinge. I'm sure I would have had different--and perhaps slightly more interesting--results, if I'd gone out in the day time and again around now, in the dull blue fading twilight on a stormy day, but procrastination got the better of me.
Back inside, under my incandescent light, and with no other whites around, the paper takes on a more neutral white. The splotches where it was soaked with snow, however, are no longer white at all, but a sparkling mid-gray.
Art Assignment: Whitescapes Paige Breisacher Mar 14, 2017
*and my own lack of gloves
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etraytin

Why is Lee Marvin Always 30? (or: If You Build It, They Will Come)

Okay, Night Vale buddies, consider this. Lee Marvin was born (According to Wikipedia, which traffics in time, and therefore is inherently unreliable) in 1924, so would’ve turned 30 for the first subjective time in 1954. In 1954, Marvin worked on the film  Bad Day at Black Rock, also starring Spencer Tracy and Robert Ryan. Like much of his early work, it was a supporting role, this time playing a man named Hector David. 

What is so special about that, you might ask yourself, assuming you are the type to vocalize your internal doubts about the specialness of anything in general and this movie in particular. Bad Day at Black Rock is the story of a stranger who comes to a small and isolated desert town where nothing is quite as it seems and tension broils beneath the surface as the stranger tries to dig up a secret the townsfolk would rather keep hidden. Lee Marvin, the greatest living American film star, does not play the meddlesome stranger, of course. He plays one of the townsfolk most determined to keep the secret. He is obviously Night Vale’s kind of guy. 

And what of Black Rock itself? Well, there was no town of Black Rock. Like many Hollywood westerns, it was filmed on a set.  When Lee Marvin was turning 30, he was part of the cast and crew of a film which came to the desert outside of Lone Palm, California, built a town for a little while, and then departed, their town vanishing into nothingness. At least, that’s how it happened here. 

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concept: a TV show runs for a decent number of years. More than four. The characterizations stay consistent. The writers don’t do anything wildly inappropriate like excuse rape or abuse. No one you’ve invested hours upon hours of your life into has their story reduced to a “shocking” death scene that has no meaning beyond that shock value. The quality of the storylines don’t take a sudden, strange spiral downward. When it ends, you leave it feeling bittersweet. Sad that it’s over, but glad you got to experience it and take a journey with some people who you came to care about.

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spawkward

lil sebastian died for shock value

thank you for making my very favorite comment on this post

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Here’s a MLK quote I’d love to see white people share.

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cumaeansibyl

“Whites, it must frankly be said, are not putting in a similar mass effort to reeducate themselves out of their racial ignorance. It is an aspect of their sense of superiority that the white people of America believe they have so little to learn.”

– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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film about a group of men getting into shenanigans= “comedy” film about a group of women getting into shenanigans= “chick flick”

film about a friendship between two men= “buddy flick” film about a friendship between two women= “chick flick”

emotional film about father/son relationships= “drama”  emotional film about mother/daughter relationships= “chick flick” 

film about a young man finding identity= “coming of age” film about a young woman finding identity= “chick flick”

SHIT

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nentuaby

Heck, I bet there’s a special, secret lounge accessible only to students who convincingly give the door an answer it hadn’t had in mind.

Do you think Ravenclaws ever argue with the door to their tower? I bet they do. Like, the eagle says their answer to the riddle is wrong, but they argue the point and the eagle eventually comes around to their side and lets them in. 

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lullabyknell

Okay, but I actually think about this all the time. Ravenclaws and their problems with their dormitory door. 

Like, imagine Su Li and Lisa Turpin coming back from dinner having some conversation or another about how they have some Herbology essay due tomorrow and neither of them did it because they were too distracted with a tangent they got on while doing their Potions homework. And Lisa’s going, “Alright, Su, Tony’s already got the books, so we just have to buckle down and do this. We got this. It’s fine. We’ll just go in and work our asses off.” They get to the door and knock, still talking, entirely on muscle memory. They’re barely listening when the eagle asks them, “Where do Vanished objects go?” Lisa’s brain is a little too fried with worry to think at the moment, but she’s not too concerned about getting in because Su looks calm and thoughtful about this one. And then Su turns to her and goes, “Where DO Vanished objects go?” Damn it all to hell, Lisa knows that look. “Su. Su, no. It’s a riddle, Su. It’s just a riddle.” “Yeah, I know it’s a riddle, but it’s also a legitimate question. I mean, Vanished objects have to go SOMEWHERE, right? For you to Conjure them again afterwards? Or are you just creating an identical object out of nothing? Or maybe not nothing… what are Conjured objects made of, do you think?” “Su, we really have to write this Herbology essay.” “I know. But it’s an interesting question. I bet somebody’s done a study on this. I heard Padma say that Conjured objects are different to real ones. Do you think that there’d be a way to tell if your Conjured object was the same one you’d Vanished? Like, if you bespelled it with a charm and it came back with the spells?” “Well… I once heard an upper-year say that Vanishing bespelled objects is tricky. They were looking into it for their Curse-Breaking apprenticeship. But it might be possible. I definitely don’t think it’s possible to Conjure bespelled objects from nothing.” “It might be. I read this book where somebody talked about conjuring a Sneak-o-scope and those are definitely enchanted objects.” “Was it a Gilderoy Lockhart book? Because that sounds like bullshit to me.” “No, I can show you. It was in a Auror’s Memoirs. I just returned them to the library this morning, so I bet nobody’s taken them out yet. And-” “That sounds like an unreliable source.” “AND I was reading this Charms book the other day that referenced a book on the specifics of Vanishing objects that had an author who was an expert in their field and a retiree from the Department of Mysteries with the same last name as the book by the Auror.” “I’m not believing this until I see a source.” “Fine, come on!” The eagle knocker has long since settled back into its resting state by then, Su and Lisa immediately run off to the library, arguing the whole way, and the next day, Professor Sprout gives the extremely apologetic students an extension on the essay while sighing, “Ravenclaws.

Or imagine there’s some Muggleborn student who has an astrophysicist for one parent and a biologist for the other, and they think magic is amazing, but they’re also really into Muggle science as well. “Which came first,” the eagle knocker asks them at one point, “the phoenix or the fire?” And they’re immediately like, “the fire.” While their friend is like, “Benny, no, that’s not how this works. My brother told me about things like this, it’s one of those paradox questions.” “What? No way. Fire came first.” “Benny…” “Fire is a chemical reaction and, as far as I can tell, phoenixes are a fiery bird that probably evolved just like everything else did on this planet. We’re a really small speck on the cosmic calendar, Raleigh, and I’m saying that unless phoenixes are actually aliens - which would be AWESOME, you-” “Benny…” “-have to admit - fire came first. There are trillions of stars that haved burned and died billions of years before our sun was even born. This is just like that chicken and the egg question, in that it sounds like a paradox but it’s actually not, because the egg existed long before the bird we know as the chicken ever evolved-” “Benny!” “What?” “You… the door opened.” “What? Oh cool. Finally, someone who recognizes science in this nutty place.” About a week later, Benny completely disrupts and derails their Astronomy class by arguing with Professor Sinestra about the school curriculum (that hasn’t been updated in more than fifty years or more) being “WAY TOO OUT OF DATE, PROFESSOR! THIS TEXTBOOK WAS WRITTEN IN 1910! THESE TELESCOPES ARE RIDICULOUS! WHEN’S THE LAST TIME A WIZARD WENT TO AN ACTUAL PLANETARIUM?! OH MY GOD, DO WIZARDS EVEN KNOW THAT THE AMERICANS HAVE GONE TO THE MOON?” And the wizardborn kids are like, “The Americans have WHAT?” While poor Raleigh has his face in his hands and isn’t even surprised.

Or imagine other things. Like that time the first years has to stand around for two hours after the Welcoming Feast because their Prefects gave them a short speech, a small tour, and then got into an “academic disagreement” (as the house of Ravenclaw has come to call them) over the riddle. So there’s this group of eleven-year-olds playing party games in the hall while their fifteen-year-old “mentors” yell at each other over the riddle. And they only got inside in the end because someone actually managed to notice that the first years never came in and “Hey, that’s sort of weird”, and sent some second year to go look for them.

Or when NEWTs season came around, and there was a seventh year SO STRESSED that they came back from the library at three in the morning and when the eagle knocker asked them a riddle, they just burst into tears and sobbed against the door for ten minutes before the eagle awkwardly declared, “Nicely answered!” and let them in anyway.

I mean, Ravenclaws… they’d be a mess.

Rowena prepared the knocker for many things; well argued multiple answers, being left behind as the riddle provokes curiosity, and much more, but sobbing? Much like it’s creator, it wasn’t quite sure what to do with sobbing humans.

ok but about the vanishing/conjuring thing…couldn’t you just draw on the object with a sharpie then vanish it and conjur it back to see if it still has the sharpie marks? i mean why over complicate things

@sexuallyfrustratedavocado Yeah but would you be conjuring a duplicate of the object + sharpie or would it be the actual object. Without a way to tell if a conjured object was originally a physical object or if it was created out of nothing, you’re stuck, right?

…scented markers? see if it comes back with the same scent, its about the same as charming it and seeing if it comes back with the charm

WAIT NO FUCK vanish a camera set with a timer and you’ll answer both questions bc 1) if its just a duplicate it will come back without a new picture bc the timer on the duplicate wont have gone off and 2) if its the original than youll have a picture of where ever it went to

I feel like I should have expected this post to go off on a tangent like this.

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