Me just after opening a Word document

tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

ive been standing with my arms behind my back ponderously like at a museum

girl chill there’s literally all kinds of everything everywhere

I appreciate all of you with your beautifully poised Astarion screenshots where he is regal and sexy but also I love him most when he is being so weird

“Kitten what’s your personal favorite Astarion screenshot” this one

Druid dick so good it bluescreens your vampire.

I appreciate all of you with your beautifully poised Astarion screenshots where he is regal and sexy but also I love him most when he is being so weird

“Kitten what’s your personal favorite Astarion screenshot” this one

Made a whole ass piece of Astarion + my tav but I didn't like how the whole thing turned out 🫠 so I'm cropping and sharing the only part of it I'm happy with

If only, it's almost non stop

Not Your Sweetheart Ch 33 - Can't Cheat Death

Not Your Sweetheart Chapter 33 - Can't Cheat Death

The one where I absolutely delight in reminding everyone that Astarion has a dead average 10 charisma and an 18 CHA Tav gives him a run for his goddamn money in all the best and most angsty ways.

AKA "gets away with it bc hottie w/a body" meets "wins every social interaction and is also troubled and hot."

AKA the seducer gets seduced and he's mad about it, until he isn't.

But also it's a whole campaign? You know. Do not enter unless you're expecting true-to-life D&D -- everyone hot as hell but stupid as fuck. Get your top-shelf found family and hotties battling for flirt dominance tropes here. 

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The chapter where more than one couple kisses and also Ketheric gets owned. FINALLY GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA ACT 2 BABY. Read on AO3.

Commissioned piece of the dorks by the fantastically talented @hamrikaa (see the full thing in Ch 10).

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“Oh, I hate it here a lot,” Karlach says, swallowing hard as she glances around.

Astarion can’t help sneering around at her. “It’s only a few dead bodies, you baby.”

She points at him and says, “You.” Then she turns her hand to give him the finger. “Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m going,” Ori says, moving off to pick her way toward a nearby incline. “I’m leaving the corpse pond now.”

“Same,” Wyll agrees, following after.

Elias flickers and reappears at the top of the climb, glancing ahead. They call down, “There are a couple of those really nasty hook-claw bird monstrosities up here. Just so you know.”

“Thanks, El,” Ori says.

Lae’zel passes by with her typical look of focused disdain, so it’s difficult to tell how much the environment is affecting her. Shadowheart follows behind and spares Astarion a glance as she goes.

“This must feel quite homey for you,” she says lightly.

Astarion clucks indignantly. "Listen, wise-arse, I love blood. Big fan of the stuff. Blood, gore, viscera, all that." He brings two fingers to his mouth and gives a chef's kiss. "Love it. But this..." He spreads his hands wide, waving around at the horrorshow surrounding them. He leans to one side and points to the ground to accentuate his next words. "This is fucking foul. I'm a vampire, not a godsdamn ghoul. I've got standards. Piles of dessicated bodies? Ugh. At least commit to an aesthetic beyond 'thrown out with the trash.' It's fetid down here."

From a meter or so away, Shadowheart looks back over her shoulder. “You done?” she says.

He tosses his head. “Never.” But he follows the rest anyway.

mood rn

I'm sick of internet negativity, so let's combat it: reblog this and saying something nice/pay a compliment to the prev in the tags.

WRITE IT!!! WRITE THAT SELF INDULGENT SHIT!!!

POST IT!!! POST THAT SELF INDULGENT SHIT!!!