You can play it at: www.lorenhernandez.com/puzzlestuck!
For newcomers, Puzzlestuck is a free Homestuck Puzzle RPG that you play in your browser. It’s inspired by Puzzle Quest and Puzzle & Dragons. Thank you to everyone who’s followed me on this journey!
And HUGE thanks to all of the artists who gave me permission to use their artwork - this game would literally not exist without you.
This project was so much fun to work on, and I hope you all enjoy the game!
So there’s a post going around about how Homestuck is the modern Shakespeare because of how many new things it introduced to the storytelling sphere and the self-references. And because of the dick jokes.
IDK if I think that’s a perfect comparison (dick jokes excepted, of course), but this is totally a thing I did anyway.
The “ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN” speech in iambic pentameter, with incorporations of Shakespearean language, for all your weird context crossover needs.
Karkat: TO YOU, O HUMAN, DOWN BENEATH I SEND THE GREETINGS THAT YOUR GOD HAS DEIGNED TO GIVE. MY WRATH SURPASSES ALL THAT YOU HAVE FEARED. HAVE I NOT WATCHED YOUR LIFE FOR SIX DAMN SWEEPS? I SAW YOU KNEEL BEFORE THE GODS THAT YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON YOUR SLEEPING BLOCK’S FOUR WALLS. ASHAMED OF WHAT YOU ARE, AS YOU SHOULD BE. A FUCKING FAILURE, WRETCHED BEYOND WORDS, YOU FALL BEFORE THE FALSE GODS YOU HAVE MADE. YOUR PLANET WORSHIPS WRETCHED DEITIES, WHO WILL NOT HEAR NOR ANSWER YOUR DAMN PRAYERS. NO MIRACLES YOUR PUNGENT ASS WILL SAVE. ONLY MY HATE; YOU CANNOT CONTEMPLATE WITH JUST YOUR SHITTY ASS HUMAN THINK PAN. FOR YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD MY HATRED SHRIEKED BY SPHINCTERS ON THE UNDERBELLY OF A GOD MOST TRUCULENT AND DIREFUL FROM FURTHEST RING BORN, MUSTERED, AND SUMMONED. MY HATE HAS FUCKING GIVEN YOU YOUR LIFE. MY HATE WILL SURELY FUCKING END IT TOO. MY HATE CREATED YOUR DAMN UNIVERSE. MY HATE PUMPS THROUGH ITS VEINS AND GIVES IT LIFE. MY HATE IS WHAT I HAVE TO GIVE TO YOU. AND WITH IT I SEND MY REGARDS; FUCK YOU. YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT.
John: good morrow, karkat!
So i like drawing the strilondes
endgame shenanigans??
ok so i just made the stupidest fucking connection: when the beta kids and trolls were riding the meteor to the new session, they were basically hacking SBURB the same way the “half a press” guy was hacking super mario 64. like.
rose lalonde, talking into her mic for her SBURB Let’s Play youtube channel: If we direct the meteor in this precise direction on the game’s map and maintain the appropriate speed for three years, we can, conceivably, navigate the uncharted void to a parallel universe,
*DIrk LPing the Alpha session* It might looks like everyone’s dead, but there’s a way around this.
But first, we need to talk about how you’re going to have to decapitate me.
homestuck, for all its insanity, still has the best quotes, my favorite being “the circle of stupidity is complete”
mine might be that one karkat rant like ‘your vehicle is parked squarely in the ‘nobody gives a fuck’ zone’
“Yes sir we are literally under siege by planet fucking Jupiter.”
“shit. let’s be santa”
“i’m 13 u egg”
That might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard get said.
Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.
I’d throw it in the lava but that would be a waste of melting
“How old are you?” “6” “Goddamn”
Kick it barak
TIME TO RENDEZVOUS WITH MY HOMIE KILLA AND DROP THE SPECIAL SCIENCE ON HIM
My personal favorite:
time to fly up away into the sun you fucknig piece of gargbage
KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS SUPER! DOESN’T THAT SOUND SUPER KANAYA? KANAYA: No KARKAT: I THINK I SPEAK FOR KANAYA WHEN I SAY IT SOUNDS Really Fucking Super.
“You have a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty” is my favorite tbh
Black - Homestuck
Even if you don’t like/read it, you have to admit that this is pretty badass.
dis song
Nothing is more obnoxious than ex Homestuck fans being dicks to people who like Homestuck
Especially when the ex fans are ragging on fans that were in it WITH THEM. like wtf dude I saw you paint yourself grey and cry over the volcano scene 2 don’t pretend UR better than me because you went back to Naruto.
LMFAO DAMN
whose ready to fucking speedrun sburb
so we need to calculate John’s de facto speed
fuck
What the actual fuck is homestuck
Thousands of pages of this.
Obama is the Homestuck president The entirety of HS took place within his 8-year term
holy shit
Thanks, Obama
Want to relive the ENTIRETY of Homestuck in a handful of minutes? Well now you can. 7 years literally flashing before your eyes. BEHOLD.
who remembers THIS GUYY
Happy 4/13!!
happy 4/13, tumblr still loves to resize images badly
ART?!
I like to think carapacians have a wide range of facial/body structure despite the whole everyone’s-a-clone-and-kinda-look-the-same thing.
is that sign going to be there forever? Can only players see it? how angry do you think everyone is about it? cause like, “no, no thank you for playing a game that killed half my friends and family and left me emotionally scarred” is the only appropriate response i can think of to this.
