We’d planned to go for a nice long backpack for the holiday weekend, somewhere between 30-50 miles. But then work stress piled up, and I made the executive decision last week to stay local. 

My people were quite gracious about it, agreeing to go to the west desert for a big day hike instead. The Prince of Norway and I had done this peak before (and it’s a favorite for both of us), but the Geologist and our new acquisition from Arizona hadn’t, so it was a treat all around. Cliff faces thousands of feet high and trees thousands of year old rarely disappoint.

I’m super thankful that we didn’t go backpacking, because I ended up with a nasty cold, and I am currently having a hard time breathing. Gotta love seasonal changes mixed with wildfire smoke and asthma. Hashtag: blessed.*

Instead of spending the latter half of my weekend cranking out workshop materials, I spent it mostly laid up in bed with an ungodly amount of tea, my knitting, and a Geologist whose voice grew hoarse from doing Hagrid’s voice for too many pages.

Hi, hello.

My last personal post was 499 days ago. Couldn't possibly let it get to 500 now could I?

I'm taking a break from the tedium of my current work project (writing script documentation in Spanish) to pop in.

This summer has been really rough on me, and the change in weather patterns here finally has me feeling hopeful again -- there's an end in sight, you know?

(1) My dude and I each messed up a flight reservation this summer, so we haven't seen each other as much as we usually do. He forgot about a wedding he had to go to when booking a flight, I forgot about a mandatory Friday work meeting (who schedules mandatory meetings on Fridays? the nerve), so we both had to push trips back. Ugh.

(2) Utah's wildfire season has been the worst in 15 years. Coupled with the devastating fires further west, and our air has been thick with smoke. Some days I wake up to campfire smells in the middle of the city, other days I look to the horizon and see zero mountains (even though I'm surrounded by peaks that stretch 4000-6000 feet above the valley floor). Bad air means limited time spent outside, and that hasn't really helped my physical or mental state.

(3) I turned 30! I'm officially an old now. This, in and of itself, does not make me upset in the slightest. That said, my closest co-worker passed away in an accident a couple of weeks after that while vacationing in Slovenia. He was brilliant and kind and quirky, and he will never turn 30. I think about him every day, and for the past month, it's usually been happy, good memories. Today hurts a lot though. There's not much I can do other than sit with my grief, so there it is, I guess. I know these feelings will pass, and I will eventually go back to the lighthearted belly-laugh memories, but right now I miss him and what could have been for him and life isn't fair.

On a lighter note, if you ever need to verbalize the character { in Spanish, I got you.

Anyone been to Ecuador? What should I do while I'm there?

Just popping in to brag about (1) my ability to impress moms and (2) the fact that I found what are literally called Brenna pants (how meta).

I’m it or whatever~

tagged by @danielleruns

One insecurity: Academic/professional worthiness -- the imposter syndrome is real.

Two fears: Depression is super scary -- you lose your will to do anything, you lose the ability to care about anything. You become a shell of you. There’s not much scarier to me than a hole you can’t dig yourself out of. Speaking of which -- keeper potholes. 

Three turn ons: Empathy. Circle laughs. Smile creases.

Four life goals: Skiing in Chile. At least one of the Seven Summits. Working/running/owning a bakery/cafe/bed and breakfast. Retiring before normal people retire.

Five things I like: Adding things that I’ve already accomplished to my to-do list so that I can cross them off. Laminated pastry dough. Scratching off new states on my United States map. Getting into a bed I’ve made. Glitter.

Six weaknesses: Laminated pastry. Snooze buttons. Thoughtfulness. New flavors of Burts Bees. IKEA’s couch section.

Seven things I love: Making the people I love laugh. Rib-crushing hugs. Spending hours making something that I could buy in a fraction of the time and at a fraction of the price. The sense of newness and possibility that comes with starting fresh -- I used to get it organizing back-to-school supplies, and now I get it whenever I want it, because I finally realized that start dates are arbitrary. Snail mail. The feeling when you take off a heavy pack and your spine uncurls. Having a home -- a sense of place, roots digging in deep, and my chosen humans around.

Eight tags: @easybeinggreene @fartgoblin @bizzyinindy @andidoesmedicine @roguewandering @monkeyfrog @desert-child @katiegirlwanders

Hey, remember when I was a runner? At the turn of the year, @easybeinggreene, the Geologist, and I decided that we should run a half. That half was yesterday. Unfortunately for me, past Brenna was not playing an April Fools joke on herself. Maybe don't try running a half if you only run 3 miles 1-2x a week and you only did one 9 mile long run a month before the race. Unless you hate your legs. But if you do choose the dumb-as-dirt route, definitely make beer cheese and soft pretzels for after the race. And pregame that meal with white cheddar cheez-its.

It's still technically winter, but it doesn't really feel like it when you can ski half naked. I hit a jump that was way bigger than it looked, and it had a blind landing. I committed to it and landed it, but the landing was so flat and jarring that I kneed myself in the jaw and bit my tongue in the process. And then I slid out and freezer burned my butt. Now I have whiplash. Oops. I also found a ski bag at the REI garage sale for $80, but it was free after my dividend! All in all, a good day with lots of laughs and very minimal blood.

I had this sitting in my drafts. You should get to look at some pretty waterfalls from waterfall season last year.

(1) Havasu Falls -- Havasupai Reservation, Arizona

(2) + (3) Beaver Falls -- border between Havasupai Reservation and Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona

(4) Horsetail Falls -- Alpine, Utah

(5), (6) + (7) -- Coyote Gulch, Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument

Hi, friends. I never posted about my summer adventures. It’s almost spring again. Oops. Guess those posts will go the way of Danielle’s Chicago recap, but I pinky promise I had many funs.

Right now I have nine toenails, though I’m in the process of losing three more. This is what happens when you spend a day jumping off stuff on skis, and you accidentally ram your toes into the front of your ski boots. Oops again. On the plus side, this likely means I won’t kill any toenails during my April Fools half, because there won’t be anything to kill.

Back in November, I was offered a promotion at work and a 4% raise. I asked for 10% instead, and I got it. Because I’m a boss-ass bitch who knows what she’s worth (and other people know it, too). Work has been non-stop busy since, but I find fuller days to be more fulfilling and more productive, so wins all around.

At some point over the summer, I was growing weary of dating (so exhausting, so fruitless) and lamented the fact that all of my happily coupled friends met their person outside of Utah and then moved here. Unless you’re LDS, dating in Utah is just depressing. Around the same time, I started to develop a friendship with a mountain man living in Boulder through Reddit. He made a comment about how his ideal match would have a woman-specific sleeping bag, because the zipper complements a men’s bag, and they can be zipped together. I commented about how I have a men’s bag (because it was heavily discounted), and how I can’t justify buying a new bag, because there’s nothing technically wrong wth mine other than it’s too long and big for me (and doesn’t sleep down to it’s 15°F temperature rating as a result). And then we just kept talking about gear for pretty much forever.

Apparently, I don’t know how to meet new people without the aid of the Internet (shocking precisely no one). We met up at his earliest convenience, and it was clear that something more than friendship was there. He is kind and empathetic and and affectionate and tells the worst dad jokes and makes me ugly laugh until I cry and also gave up snowboarding to learn skiing for me, so clearly he is now my boyf. He also bought me a women’s sleeping bag for Christmas, so this is obviously something special.

So special, in fact, that he is coming with me to Kentucky to visit some other very special and cherished Internet humans next weekend. He has no idea of the chaos that he’s gotten himself into. Poor dude.

Also, at some point recently I chopped off somewhere around 11-12" of hair.

I check in here from time to time, but I’ve certainly missed a lot. Hope you’re all doing well!