Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer for WWD Magazine (2019)

Ocarina of Time Temples by Tom Garden

My mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like. Three sets of random teeth mixed around

Okay I’m so sorry this isn’t actually funny but it’s like. Really funny. I’m so sorry

wtf dogs lose their teeth. also who the fuck keeps baby teeth that’s horrific

My mom kept my baby teeth. And then my second set fell out so I kept those in a little bag and now we both have a set of my baby teeth.

wait what. how many teeth do you have im so confused.

I had 3 sets of teeth. So did my older brother. It was weird cause I’d had them for a few years and then they all started coming out all at once. Had a full new set in like 2 weeks. My dentist said it was fine since nothing grew out of place so idk.

I’m sorry what you grew teeth like a shark? What?

When i was younger I watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing all her baby teeth and crushed them all into powder under the leg of a chair bc she was bored

This post is like getting punched repeatidly, but from a different angle each time

Soft Sculptures

Molly Burgess on Etsy

See our #Etsy or #Soft Sculpture tags

Boobs don’t even matter ladies, it’s what’s under them, your lungs are important, cause we blazing mad weed over here and you need to keep up.

There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs

This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose

I’m not ready to be a single mom

I know shit about reptiles

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth

Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care

I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?

70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??

You a mom now

Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”

I’m gonna fistfight nature

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow

I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??

I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out

YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA

DAMN IT SHARRON

First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this

Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??

UPDATE

SHES BACK

NEVERMIND

ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE

That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me

Call this one Susan

You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit

her arms 😍

Link

Well damn

I shot my first turkey today!

Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen foods section

So I stumbled onto the Etsy shop of this academic who–in real life–is an expert on cuneiform–and on the side, makes little trinkets with Sumerian on them and OH MAN THIS SHOP HAS MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK For the price of about thirty bucks, you too can have a clay necklace that says “Like a farting butt, the mouth brings forth too many words” in the oldest written language on earth https://www.etsy.com/listing/537034173/choose-your-words-carefully-like-a?ref=shop_home_active_23

Or a necklace that declares “I have ferocious features that exude sexiness” https://www.etsy.com/listing/540406774/i-have-ferocious-features-that-exude?ref=shop_home_active_54 Or be the ultimate hipster and anti-capitalist before capitalism even existed with “Wanting more riches when already wealthy offends the gods”  https://www.etsy.com/listing/543598245/wanting-more-riches-when-already-wealthy?ref=shop_home_active_6

Sumerian erotic poetry? Got it. Sumerian drinking songs? Yep. A little something for everyone on your Akitu gift list.

I Have Ferocious Features That Exude Sexiness Pendant (now on sale)

in five minutes of thinking i was legitimately scared at how easy it would be for me to write a sunstone style romance involving harley and ivy, all while acknowledging and using every bit of their long established lore and characterization.

too… damned ..easy!

Oooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?

One of my very favoritest paintings I’ve done lately. Print available in my new shop, 10% of all sales donated to LGBT Community Center of NYC!

Tiny Hedgehog Goes Camping, And His Pics Are The Best Thing You’ll See Today