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La Petite Mort

@niamhrhymeswithleave / niamhrhymeswithleave.tumblr.com

Nerdy feminist embroidery is my thing. | British, 26 | I'm Niamh.
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Hi I forgot about tumblr but I used to be on here all the time.

Just in case you’re still here and you remember me, I want to tell you that my dreams came true.

I’m a full time embroidery artist. I have my own business, an embroidery kit subscription box. It’s my job now.

I’m engaged to the best man I’ve ever met. We’ve been together for 4 years and I still get so excited when he comes home from work. I feel so safe and so happy and so loved.

I’ve had my art in exhibitions. I’ve made art that someone thought was good enough to put on a gallery wall.

I was on an amazing TV show called The Victorian House of Arts and Crafts, where I lived as a Victorian for a month. I embroidered a bedspread in a week, and it changed my life.

So yeah. I’m living my dream life. I never thought it would happen. I’m nearly 31 and life gets better.

#lifegetsbetter#embroidery artist
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tinyglowingsharks
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misbehavingmaiar

Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently.  he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just; 

What did— who– 

did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring 

Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…

“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”

“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”

“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”

“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”

“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”

“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”

“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”

“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”

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misbehavingmaiar

…aaaaaand curtain.

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absynthe--minded

you can laugh but that is literally what happened

This is the single best brief summary I have ever seen of the entire point of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

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