You know a few different times I’ve been asked what my biggest regret in life is and I usually say “I don’t know” but that’s a lie. A fat lie. My biggest regret is one time in 7th grade I broke a glowstick and drew a heart with Sasuke’s name in it on my bedroom wall but if that’s not bad enough you know glowsticks usually fade after a day, right? Well not this one- this one stained the wall so even at a grown ass adult there’s Sasuke’s name in a goddamn giant ass heart on my wall as erasable as the shame in my heart.

My new biggest regret is this post

Do not start reblogging this again I swear to god it hasn’t gotten notes for months and now suddenly it’s back in my notifications. I’ve moved out of my house and I am finally free. Let me be free.

You face your shame like a man.

Today a student emailed over a draft of his essay on 1984 and had clearly used a thesaurus on every single word, and how I know this is because the the party slogan ‘Big Brother is watching you’ had become ‘Enormous Sibling is viewing you’ and I lauged so hard I cried

you: big brother

me, an intellectual: enormous sibling

me: *starts eating healthy and drinking water* oh wow this is actually really nice and fun. 

me: 

me:

me: I SAID THIS IS REALLY NICE

brain: oh right. heres some dopamine for the bare minimum u basic ass bitch

me: thank u 

somebody: i changed urls–

me, who hasn’t been able to recognize anyone on my dash for years:

please

Buenos días a todos, menos a esos que te dicen mentiras, te ilusionan y rompen tu corazón, a esos no por culeros.

Flirt with me wtf

this is peak Craigslist

me plugging my laptop in: eat these electrons you hungry bitch