I think it's hilarious that hands down the worst way to learn magic is the actual rulebook. Please do not read that. It's just there for reference when something weird happens
i thought this was about witchcraft and i was like lmao
Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it. Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this. There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color. But, hey, at least it tastes good, right? High five, America!
oh my god
bitch that’s the tubby custard machine
date of origin: 2012
A classic
this just makes me wanna get some nuggets from mcdonalds for some reason
the fact op thought they could even get away with that blatant misinformation in the first place when the graphic they used was the fucking Tubby Custard machine amuses me like.
Even if you didn’t know what Teletubbies was that thing does not at all look like something you’d find in a factory, it’s colorful and colors cost extra.
that’s because OP’s post is a joke
I feel weird that I’m been here long enough to remember the original context–OP is mocking this post:
the picture clearly looks like some sort of strawberry ice cream, so OP did a copypasta of the original text and replaced with picture with something even funnier.
Both posts went around a lot, but it’s funny that the second, mocking post is now being reposted like OP is some kind of idiot instead of a comedic genius
the original post is actually still here: https://early-onset-of-night-blog.tumblr.com/post/1206666159/say-hello-to-mechanically-separated-chicken-its and apparently the original OP is a satire blog, anyway. So nobody was serious in the whole exchange
Getting new context for this ancient meme in the year of our lord 2021 is giving me whiplash.
every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt
he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!
you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too
Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.
My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.
Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?
Yes.
oh god theres art
@altadude you know what must be done.
ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr
i fucking love this website
Well okay.
BEHOLD
Binch what the fck
I’ve waited all year for this!
I want them to get back together
Ditto
reasons that i was going 9 mph over the speed limit today: the lumberjack in the big red chevy truck behind me on this double-lined road was in a hurry and also was using a slightly more powerful bluetooth radio to play his music, but he was using the same frequency that i use, and he was just playing Party In The Usa on repeat, so every time he caught up to me my music started fading out and “i pUT MY HANDS UP THEY’RE PLAYIN MY SONG” started blaring from my speakers and i was justly running for my fucking life
WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD I JUST KEEP PICTURING SOME POOR SOUL SWEATING AND STARING AT THIS TRUCK IN THEIR REAR VIS MIRROR WITH PARTY IN THE USA PLAYING IS THIS A SCENE FROM AN ACTION MOVIE
Lmao this American girl walked up to a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) register with her drink and really, really loudly (I was at the other side of the place) proclaimed: “I asked for Lemonade, you gave me Sprite” in a really bitchy, entitled voice.
The cashier (and everyone within earshot) just looked at her like “the fuck is wrong with you”
In Australia, Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned.
Enjoy your 90c refund you cheap ass ho.
“Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned”
@fleamont can you verify?
Yeah this is correct. Lemonade is sprite. Clear fizzy liquid type thing. Solo is closer to what American lemonade is but we don’t actually have what you guys consider lemonade anyway so she was never going to get what she wanted lmao.
Y'ALL AIN’T GOT LEMONADE?!?!??
madness…
That entire continent exists on a different realm of existence
What the… Lmao
Why is it called lemonade then? 🤔
@casualswfan What is wrong with you guys?
IT IS THE SAME DAMN THING. You Yankees and your fifty brands of the same :P
LEMONADE AND SPRITE ARE NOTHING ALIKE
Things heating up in the drink fandom
I’m pretty sure the same is true in the UK at least was in 2010 except Sprite didn’t seem to be a common brand so I’d ask for Sprite get blank looks eventually figured out to ask for lemonade
Sprite is a recognised brand here, but it’s not omnipresent, it is also considered a brand of lemonade.
This is fucked up.
Sprite: lemon-lime soda (pop/carbonated beverage). Lemonade: lemons, water, and sugar. Still.
LEMONADE IS NOT CARBONATED WHATT HEFUCC CK ARE YOU ALL DOIGN
Living? Sensibly?
Also on what planet does Sprite have lime in it.
Sprite, the lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage, is made on Earth.
Earth is the third planet from the Sun, the densest planet in the Solar System, the largest of the Solar System’s four terrestrial planets, and the only astronomical object known to harbor Sprite.
The people of Earth are known as “Earthlings” or “Spriteloids” interchangeably (although not to each other).
At least in the UK, if you order lemonade you’ll sometimes get Sprite, but if it’s proper it’s a lemon soda akin to the Italian gassosa - less sweet than Sprite.
Oh shit, I’ve had gassosa, it’s AMAZING.
I just want to say that the whole ‘lemonade and Sprite are interchangeable’ is pretty common throughout Asia as well, in my experience
@bre-e-e-e what madness is this?!?!?!?!
@kingkilling-and-stormlight so… what you are all saying is. Lemonade is … not fizzy… in America?
You guys have orange juice at least, right? Grapefruit juice? In the US, Lemonade is a juice, like orange juice, but made with lemons instead of oranges. You can buy “fresh squeezed lemonade” at many restaurants and fast food venues. Typically it’s diluted a bit with sugar water, so the sour flavor of the raw lemon juice isn’t so overpowering.
In the south, it’s very common for people buy whole lemons and make their own lemonade at home using a citrus juicer.
In Germany, you’d ask for “Limonade” and yeah, you may get a Sprite or a Fanta; it’ll always be a fizzy nonalcoholic drink and usually come in lemon, lime, orange flavor. Only in healthfood or hipster establishments would it ever be an actual juice drink.
As a fan of homemade rosewater lemonade, I am twitching at the thought of sickly sweet carbonated beverages that taste like they were invented by someone who may have been in the same room as a citrus fruit once but can’t remember what it actually tastes like being called lemonade.
Wtf did y'all think beyonce was talking about????
oh wow I hadn’t even considered that. Like millions of people worldwide hearing the album title but not understanding what lemonade means even on the most superficial level.
This is so epically disturbing. Lemonade is such an integral part of spring and summertime. I just … this breaks my brain and my heart. The cultural references too. Just, all the American shows that reference lemonade and people in other countries are thinking Sprite? There’s a reason kids do freshly squeezed lemonade stands. You can’t buy it like that from a store. And there’s nothing quite like screwing it up and getting the sugar ratio wrong. And parents grinning through the too sour or too sweet mess and praising your efforts. Lemonade Is a Thing.
Wait does that mean Aussies make Shandies with sprite?????
Does this mean a significant portion of the global population don’t know what to do when life hands you lemons?
Yes, Australians make Shandies with our carbonated soft drink lemonade, though if you’re using it as a mixer, you’re less likely to be using Sprite and more likely to be using Schweppes, which looks like this:
Like. We absolutely have a concept of flat, juice-based lemonade, but as an earlier commenter said, it’s a niche hipster speciality rather than the default, and even then, it’s still going to be premade rather than fresh.
OH GOD THAT’S WHY AMERICAN CHILDREN CAN MAKE IT AND SELL IT SO EASILY. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW KIDS COULD MAKE A CARBONATED DRINK AT HOME.
Supportive dad cat being there for his wife and kids.
“SWEETIE, DO YOU NEED YOUR BELLY MOOSHED? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED YOUR BELLY MOOSHED.”
That action is called “snurgling”. It helps stimulate milk production.
No it’s mooshed
This song resonates with me right now
sunt eu
un… haiduc???
dont you sick fucks make me relive this
si sunt voinic
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic😂😂😂
VREI SA PLECI DAR
Nu mă, nu mă ieei
NU MĂ, NU MĂ IEI
nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei
I have no idea what happened here
Lucky bastard. It’s stuck in my head now
MI-AMINTESC DE OCHII TAI
my whole damn life just flashed before my eyes
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
She bless the rains down in Africa
Not even birds are immune to the world’s most powerful song.
Blue-footed Boobies, to be exact
it looks like a fucking muppet are you kidding me?
the Blue-footed Booby is a type of fish-eating seabird closely related to gannets and frigatebirds, though they will both deny this if you ask them
blue-footed who?
(a little judgey for what looks like an attempt to include a working airbag in a bird, but we digress)
while graceful and daring in the air, Blue-footed Boobies are just kind of a shambling mess on land, barely coordinated enough to get by.
HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT
early Spanish explorers noticed this trait and named the species, well… Boobies. because they’re a bunch of fucking clowns.
it’s pretty self-explanatory.
I thought it was a term of endearment
like their relatives, the Boobies lack external nostrils of any sort. this is because their entire feeding strategy is to slam themselves face-first into the ocean at speeds approaching 60mph.
you can laugh, but every fish in that patch of water is shitting itself right now
Blue-Footed Boobies form monogamous pairs to raise chicks, and you might have heard of their mating dance. it mostly involves a lot of drunken shambling.
I’m sure it’s very special to them.
the pair work together to hatch two or three eggs, which fairly quickly becomes just one as the strongest chick murders its siblings in front of its uncaring parents
adorable! nature is just the worst, guys. the worst.
in spite of all this, though, we can’t help but love these goofy bastards. must be the muppet factor.
sing along, children! this is how we count to ten!
(goddammit. they may be terrible parents, but we just can’t stay mad at them.)
When you throw out the packaging of a microwave dinner and immediately forget how long to microwave it for
Who wants to guess how many bags of peaches are in my dad’s freezer?
The answer is:
Too fucking many
This is gonna make … a lot of jam …….
So, I managed to fit all but one big bowl of peaches into the two stock pots …
An hour and a half later, here they are simmering away …
How long is it gonna take to reduce them to jam, you ask?? Fuck if I know at this size lmao
In case you were wondering, it is, in fact, longer than 5 hours, as I am still stirring this jam over the oven :) :) :)
Oh and also there was another large bowl of peaches in the other fridge that I did not see until later, so I did not in fact fit ALL the peaches into the stock pots
On a brighter note, the whole house smells like a Victorian Christmas dinner
Hello again friends, it is currently REAL JAMMING TIME and I have been in stirring hell for seven hours
Went through two whole containers of pectin and a bunch of cornstarch already and things are looking just PEACHY
So, uh, the first stock pot alone yielded 272 ounces, so I … may have accidentally made about 68 8oz jars of jam …… and I only had 36 jars …
Guess I’m going back to the store tomorrow … and going to have to join the local farmers market to sell them …
Anyway, TEN CONTINUOUS HOURS OF WORK LATER, here I am at around 3am sealing my first batch of jars … (entire other stock pot of jam lurks ominously in the background)
God, it’s like when you overestimate how much pasta you’re gonna end up with, only 300% worse
So I woke up today after sleeping like a log to fibd my dad had already gone back to the store (which is like 30 min away) and gotten me more jars because he saw that I needed them
As you can see one of those pachages is the wrong size jar (4oz) so we’ll see if I can fit all the jam into these suckers (plus the two 8oz ones I had leftover)
My dad also put all the jars of jam in the fridge, although since they were all properly sealed (aw yeah) was totally unnecessary lol
He said he accidentally dropped one on the way to the fridge but I checked and it amazingly A) didn’t break, and B) remained properly sealed, so hats off to Ball corp, and also me I guess
Update: WE BE JAMMIN’
Spices I used for this recipe:
-Cinnamon
-Nutmeg
-Ginger
-Allspice
-Vanilla Extract
The combination worked out very well!
Gotta can the rest of it after I eat tho :P
So, I FINALLY managed to can all the jam, except for like … 6 oz of it, so I made shortbread cookies to use that with ;)
Altogether I did end up with 72 jars of jam, 12 of which are the 4oz size though. What the fuck am I gonna do with all this jam, jesus christ
Anyway, thanks for coming to my jam-filled TED talk guys, take care
send me some jam op
OP SEND US THE JAM
This is so bitty
You’re so ahead of your time.
It doesn’t get much better than taking a dip in a nice, cool stream, surrounded by a dozen of your best friends; speaking, of course, of Arabian toads [Duttaphrynus arabicus; sometimes listed as Bufo arabicus]. These toads can be found in Saudi Arabia, Oman, the United Arab Emirates, and Yemen. Arabian toads are one of just nine species of amphibian to have been found on the Arabian Peninsula, and just one of two species to be found in the UAE. Images by Tamsin Carlisle.
