Annalaura_art

Keeping this quote to my grave

[...]

I was born at a very young age.  I’ve been alive for as long as i can remember, and I hope to continue living until I die.

And what do you think you can bring to our company?

Gonna steal from it

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

i feel like people really underestimate catholic trauma. like my catholic school literally gave us tests on why we should feel guilty for eating and sleeping in general, literally made us recite prayers where we insisted we were worthless, and told us that the only alternative to being catholic wasn't just a general "burning in hell" but was straight a description of graphic torture taken from some old doctrine. like literally i know some people raised catholic have probably never heard of this shit but my school went deep into catholic doctrine and teachings and this is genuinely what a lot of die hard catholics believe.

like a sin i was told to confess when i couldnt think of any sins to confess (at 10 years old) was like "did you eat any candy this week? yeah you should confess that. it's an indulgence that's unnecessary to keeping you alive, so that's a sin"

also unless you've gone through religious or cult trauma, you're really not going to understand how it affects a person.

like i genuinely hate how people's responses, from friends to therapists to romantic partners, have always been "well that belief sounds fake so stop that thought. that's your solution!" when i bring up any deep embedded beliefs i have because of religious trauma

like it's not just a belief. your foundation of how you understand humanity and how human relationship work is informed by these fucked up teachings. you don't choose to believe it, you are told it's the objective truth. and often times, they don't just brush you off when you question it -- a lot of times, religious groups do have answers that make logical sense if you approach it from the same world view. and of course you have the same world view, since it's the only world view you know. even learning about new world views doesn't help, because just hearing about something doesn't mean you believe it.

and when you finally break away and try to believe other things, it's often because you have no choice. the only reason i left catholicism is because i realized i was queer and my choices were to either kill myself (huge sin, wouldn't go to heaven), go deeper catholic, or leave the church and hope everything i was ever taught was wrong. and even then! you can't just overcome the teachings you were taught as a child, especially if you were well educated by them -- because you know how to argue against everything secular logically and intelligently, because you were raised to do so. like religious trauma is like constantly being at war with yourself over what you truly believe. and sometimes, since you're rightfully afraid of the concept of being tortured forever, you sometimes doubt your new beliefs since there's no punishment if you don't believe them -- but there is for leaving your religion, which you can still make logical sense of a lot of the time.

anyways. i feel like the world really isn't kind to those with religious trauma and it's mainly bc they don't understand how it works.

and not all negative interactions with religion are religious trauma. which is why you'll find (often ex xtian) people being like "fuck the church!!!" or whatever and have no issues absolutely writing off its teachings and living life free from the constraints of their former religion.

which like, good for them. but they clearly did not get traumatized -- or at least did not traumatized specifically by the religious teachings, even if something related to the religion traumatized them. i feel like a lot of ex catholic in specific (bc i can't speak for other religions) genuinely didn't get the full doctrine and teachings of the church -- which is why you'll find a lot still identifying with it but living a normal life, or you'll find some that have just written it off but hardly think about it.

so idk. things to think about.

if I say "I have to Austin Powers my car out of a parking space," do you understand what i mean

like this?

favourite selfship dynamic ever has GOT to be "this is an objectively evil character But What If I Was Their Favourite" . literally SO fucking real . and i AM their favourite . they told me so and they would never lie to me. sorry that they lied TO YOU but they wouldnt do that to me. im just built different

YES this character sucks and YES theyre manipulative and a murderer and overall just not a good person. but im making them a home cooked meal. so. maybe thats a you problem

i couldnt fix them BUT i can kiss them . maybe thatll calm them down

Oh? They manipulate you? And do all kinds of heinous things to you? Sounds like a skill issue. They got me breakfast in bed.

This is just as much a power fantasy (the power to make even someone very evil and cruel be invested in you and your wellbeing) as wanting superpowers or wealth or political power Also villains are often hot as hell, of COURSE people want to be their Special Someone

Enjoy this lil gif I made :)

If we all work together, we can strap Starscream to a rocket and launch him into the vacuum of space. It'll require a lot of duct tape, but I think we can do it! You in?

Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes

No

The orange kitty presented...

goodnight everyone (:

donate to:

there is a dashboard unfucker alternative!!

@ everybody looking at the dashboard unfucker tag right now desperately looking for help because it suddenly stopped working. @pixiel's pinned post has a userstyle they developed that also reverts the dash back to the old style!! go get it now!!