Ginny: Looking good, Potter.

Harry: Ginny, we’ve been married for 19 years. Why are you still calling me by my last name?

Ginny (standing in front of a mirror): I was talking to myself.

The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]

who wrote this, expose him

my breasts are nicely separated. Completely divided, every year they move apart by half an inch.

My breasts are nicely separated though they still fight for custody of the children.

I,,a woman,,,am WiDeR LOweR dOwN

That was difficult to read.

So ugly

My name is Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way, and my breasts are nicely separated

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT AND HOW ON EARTH DID IT GET PUBLISHED

You can always tell when it’s a man writing a description because they focus oddly on the breasts. There will always be something about breasts and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read historical or fantasy fiction and they talk about “her breasts hanging freely under her tunic” or what the fuck ever and it’s like…women don’t do that? We don’t describe ourselves by saying “I have blonde hair and blue eyes and my breasts hang freely under my tunic”. I kind of feel like we should counter by awkwardly mentioning all male character’s balls in their description. It’s kind of in the same vein.

“I have auburn hair and hazel eyes and my copious nicely separated balls hangs freely under my breeches”

G E T W I D E R L O W E R D O W N

“To get back to my body”

This is the first time I saw this post with art and I am in tears.

Reblogging again because IT HAS BEEN ILLUSTRATED NOW 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Im actually laughing so hard omg

This is so much better with pictures! That harpy looks gooooooood!

The book is “Reader for Hire” by Raymond Jean. The scene gets even funnier when replaced in context. The woman makes this description of herself to try and determine whether she has the right qualities to be a good reader for hire. And no, this isn’t some sick metaphor: she is actually looking for a job where she goes to people’s homes to read aloud. Her conclusion after a thorough examination of herself - which further mentions her navel, thighs, knees, calves, and ankles - is that she indeed has all the qualities to be a good reader (nicely separated breasts are apparently one of them) but that she probably needs to wear glasses to look up to the job.

Ban men from writing.

Ban women without nicely separated breasts from reading.

I don’t know about you, but my nicely separated breasts do a whole lot of reading aloud. I mean, what kind of pathetic, illiterate breasts do you people have?

god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass

This doesn’t do the moment justice. He took the swig of vodka, said “I’ll fucking do it darling”, and then ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT in one fucking take

Mood for 2019: “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”

Reblog for Freddie Mercury level belief in yourself this new year! 

It happened again

Tony Hawk could enter a ‘Tony Hawk lookalike contest’ and end up in last place.

— Tim Kreider, We Learn Nothing (via dieinmanhattan)

Me: I’m going to be SO productive today

Also me: *dissociates for five hours*

your 20's be like

will olaf and minions ever end. will i be forced to live the rest of my life occasionally seeing olaf and minions

Said the Baudelaire children.

Top 10 Harry Potter Characters (as voted by my followers) 9. Minerva McGonagall “You look in excellent health to me, Potter, so you will excuse me if I don’t let you off homework today. I assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in”

ICONIC

I was gonna put this in my queue but tbh I think it’s more relevant right now.

Yeah.

For the record: George wasn’t saying “I would’ve purposefully let you die on the operating table.” He was one of the few doctors willing to perform the surgery, but was nowhere close to qualified to do it alone. He was still an intern in the surgical program, and inexperienced in the procedure.

Dr. Bailey was his teacher, and one of the most well trained general surgeons there. She was disgusted with the patient, for his behavior to both the non-white staff, but also the women. When the patients vitals started going south, she pushed George out of the way and completed the surgery, despite the hate.

Without Dr Bailey sacrificing her personal reservations, the patient would’ve died. She is a strong black woman who didn’t hesitate to save this patients life, as she believes in doing no harm, even when the patient doesn’t deserve her assistance.

George is only ensuring that the patient is aware of just how lucky he is that a woman like Miranda Bailey was there, especially when he specified he only wanted a white man to help him.

He’s trying to say “consider yourself lucky she was there, or else you wouldn’t be alive” not “I would’ve killed you and felt no remorse.”

^^^THANK YOU!! For all the people like “doctor’s take an oath blah blah blah” thats not what he was saying🙄

Wawa is an amazing gas station for donuts and coffee and such