Nihility.

Wow. I feel like I come back here once a year just out of curiosity. I wish I kept closer with those I’ve met through my tumblr years. I do miss the sense of support and community I sought out during my constant days of writing and activity on here. None the less adulthood constantly sneaks up on me.  I feel less sad, but life seems more complicated and just over all more difficult. I’m still holding on. Still pursuing goals. Still trying.

//01.11.18 | Happier Trying. Effort. Getting there. I’ve been happy. I think it’s an upswing.

//12.12.17 | Why. Just why.

092817.

We are of different worlds.  Different places. Different timelines. 

You have your life and I have mine.  Yet why did my heart still sink.

I still despise you. How you talk. How you scoff. How you think. How you do things. I can’t stand anything about you. Granted you are out of my life, somehow I find myself getting upset whenever I see a clone of your car right by me on the road. Scared to death it’s yours. Scared that you’re following me.  The papers made it final. Everything we did made it final. Selling the house made it final. But tidbits of you are still lingering and I can’t seem to rid my life of them.

//08.07.17.

It’s interesting how times have changed. I first ventured on Tumblr about seven years ago or so, just out of curiosity. I was 17 at the time. And now at age 24 and for the past couple years or so, I’ve long forgotten this blog and how active I used to be on it. 

I can handle me at my worst. But it’s clear that you cannot.