my dudes

guy that can't watch futurama because he gets so angry that he punches the screen and bites his own hand when they're mean to zoidberg

Coming in hot

F-22s have nothing on this motherfucker

Did he steal a purse? Lol

one guy in the balloon literally said "grab it" to the other one LMFAOOOO

STOP

i thought watching breaking bad would make this picture make more sense and it did not. who made yhis and why. why would you make huell a star

im gonna throw up

eraserhead baby

Bobby hill

I read that as dual wedding and i had to

lets give them a proper skyrim marriage

i love how tumblr users play with jpegs like dolls

the wife that dies in the beginning of a movie

Coño don limpio

mr clean off the shits

am fascinated by the implication that this person thinks that a backflip clean out of his pants and onto a swing would be easier

anyone with the fucking strength to

Anyone with lacking enough moral fiber

cigarette flavored ice cream

Can you give me some space please.

A 392 year-old shark found in the Arctic. This guy was wandering the oceans back in 1627.

dude u look like shit

imagine youre a shark swimming around lifes not great but youre expecting ‘well i only gotta do this for 20 so years’ and then you just dont die 

went to miami to recover father sotirios. and made some new friends.

these animals... they are wise. I recruited them to avenge my dear brother. I was then escorted out of the sea world.

Better than the 1596 Marseille dolphin exorcism I suppose.

In 1596 dolphins were infesting the port of Marseille. Back in those days, y’see, dolphins didn’t have the cuddly image they enjoy today. They were pests and were causing damage.

So the cardinal of Avignon sent the bishop of Cavaillon to do something about them. In front of a huge crowd, the bishop sprinkled some holy water into the waters of the port and told the dolphins to begone. Whereupon the dolphins indeed turned tail in terror and fled, and were never seen again.

Still not as dramatic as Saint Bernard excommunicating the flies though.

What happened to the flies?

Saint Bernard of Clairvaux built a monastery in 1124, but it was plagued by flies. So the good saint promptly excommunicated them. By the next day the flied had died in such quantities that they had to be shoveled out.

Still not as nutty as the Basel rooster trial though.

*everyone in unison* um what rooster trial?

In 1474, a rooster in Basel did the heinous and unspeakable act of laying an egg. As everyone knows, an egg laid by a rooster will hatch into a basilisk (or cockatrice).

So to avoid the creation of a cockatrice (or basilisk), the rooster was tried, found guilty, and burned at the stake along with its egg. A huge crowd was present.

The “rooster” in this case was likely a hen that had developed male characteristics (it happens).

Still not as properly legal as the Savigny pig trial though.

Ok, clearly you want an excuse to talk about the pig thing, and I now DESPERATELY want to hear about the pig thing, so PLEASE tell us about the Pig Thing.

In 1457 a sow killed Jehan Martin, a five-year-old boy in Savigny. For that crime she was put on trial and judged guilty, and sentenced to be hanged from a tree.

Her piglets, however, were judged to have been innocent of the murder, and so were returned to the owner, with the caveat that he had to surrender them to the law if they were later found to have eaten any of the boy.

Not to be confused with a whole bunch of other, similar porcine trials.

I won’t mention the 1454 excommunication of eels in Lake Geneva then.

[ID: Reply from @thelilithmachine : “Yanked that thing asunder”]

look into the horses eyes its going to eat their faces so fucking fast

Apparently the context is this horse has injured everyone who has tried to ride them