I’ve been trying to pick away at this wall in my brain for so long. I’m so tired of this barrier that stops me from taking chances, putting myself out there, and actually trying to be happy. This fucking wall that I spent my entire childhood building alone. It makes it so hard to have a connection to anyone or feel much of anything. Sometimes I’m able to put cracks in the wall to see some light on the other side, but after not too long it fills itself. I know if I stop chipping away at this my whole brain will become concrete, and I will not let that happen. I know someday it will be demolished. I’m just tired and want to break through soon.

I feel so fucked up. My depression and anxiety is through the roof and I’m just sad. I feel like I’m becoming so detached from people. So much that I’m ruining relationships. I’m not sure how to come back.

My depression is so bad lately and I can’t really talk to anyone.

I’m so Fucking alone. I just don’t have anyone.

I don’t think I have ever been this angry and I don’t even know why I am.

I would let you break my heart a million times.

Why?

I wish I could say something to you

But I’m too depressed.

Promise me this

If I lose to myself

You won't mourn a day

And you'll move onto someone else

I’m trying to keep pushing. I need to find a door cause the only one I see isn’t good.

Everyday hurts a little more. What am I going to do.

Everyday I get weaker and weaker. I feel myself slipping away.

I’m driving myself into insanity.

One day I’ll be dead. Can’t wait.

I just don’t want to feel this pain anymore. Idk what to do.

This whole experience is painful