Uhhh...

she commit acts of intercourse on my erogeneous zones until i achieve sexual climax

No she doesnt. You made this up for notes.

Sypha just lives snuggled up between them at all times

Once upon a time there was a small desert village with a single well outside town. One day a young woman went to the well to fetch water, and the well heard her crying, and asked “What’s wrong?”

She stopped her sobbing and asked the well “You can talk?”

“Yes,” said the well. “Long ago, the witch who lives in this town gave me life so I could serve as a guardian to the townspeople.”

“Alas,” said the young woman. “I am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the townsfolk for many years. But the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the people up against her, and they burned her at the stake. I am young and still do not know very much magic. I tried to curse them, but my curses fizzled. Now I worry I will never avenge my mother’s death.”

“Do not be afraid,” said the well. “I will take care of this.”

The next morning, when the Mayor came to fetch water from the well, he heard an odd noise coming from the bottom. He peered over as far as he could to see what was happening. Then an impossibly long arm shot up from the bottom of the well, grabbed the mayor, and pulled him into the well shaft. There was a horrible crunching sound, and nobody ever saw the Mayor again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter, and they all lived happily ever after.

Moral of the story: living well is the best revenge

164377

bloodweave pkmn request

i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person

Got that vampire autism where you gotta invite me in every time

Vampire autism is a mood tho

horsegirl Lae'zel has begun to spread the gospel

+bonus

where'd that horse girl lae'zel truther post go

edit: a sequel has manifested

packed

No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to you. 🦋🏮

please don't have sex in disabled bathrooms if you're abled. we need somewhere to have sex too

lets all click on the source of the gif

Trans healthcare is under attack and more trans people are rationing hormones than ever.

👉 That’s why we are launching a new program to provide direct relief to those in immediate need. 🚨

Simply go to transstudent.org/hrtfund to request hormones, donate, and learn more.

there’s absolutely nothing better than reading a 100k word fanfic, that is until you remember you have a body that is starving, thirsty and incredibly sleep deprived and hasn’t used the bathroom since the sun set 8 hours ago

me cross eyed and seeing double:

Stop me if you hate the concept: short, fat, hairy lady gets isakai'd into a high fantasy, and instead of "oh look at all these ethereal elves woe for I am but a flawed mortal" routine she lands in Dwarf territory and is immediately revered as the most enchanting and desirable maid in all the land. This immediately becomes a zesty romantic drama. Thoughts

an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

A relic…

*touches ground*

I haven’t seen you in years,,,

Oh to be the Hero of Hyrule