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happy 10 years to my favorite catws post ever

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

This is how I learn that the famous chimp my dad got my nickname from tried to kill Reagan. Fuck yeah.

my professor fucking rickrolled me. he posted a video titled 'exam answer key' and i knew it was gonna be some fuckery but its rick astley. fucking hell

Rosamund Pike knows her hobbies may not be the safest…

gonna start asking hockey dudes on tinder if they can define goaltender interference and if they give me any answer other than “i don’t know” i’m unmatching them

men? not disappointing me? what is this feeling

how do i tell these guys this post got 200+ notes on tumblr

UPDATE ONE OF THESE GUYS IS ACTUALLY A REF I’M LAUGHING SO HARD

Uh... okay.

WONDER BAR (1934) | dir. Lloyd Bacon

Here is the actual clip, and let me tell you, Jolson’s delivery does not disappoint:

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine // S04E01: The Way of the Warrior, Part 1

My take on the Sherlock Holmes books

A hiker, clearly shaken, enters a remote English village pub, his clothes all torn and he's full of scratches. 

"You won't believe this," he says to the bartender. "I was attacked by a leopard!"

"Really?"

"Yes! A leopard! In England!" The hiker sits down and orders the strongest liquor they've got. "I tried to run, but it was if course much faster than me."

The hiker gets his glass, empties it, and asks for another. "It sent me to the ground with a mighty push from its paws, but weirdly enough it then just gave me a really sad look and left."

"Ah, you met Father Andrews," the bartender says, matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean?" asks the tourist, confused.

"Father Andrews was our priest. A truly kind-hearted man, loved by all. His only goal in life was to serve his congregation as well as he could. So when he one day found a lamp with a genie, his very first wish was to be a loving shepherd to the community."

"That's nice "

"Absolutely, if only he hadn't been so prone to spoonerisms."

First of all the Vulcan Science Directorate has concluded that time travel is impossible, so jot that down.

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

hey guys do you want to circulate the heirloom dancing spiderman again i feel like we could stand to do that

Today’s test environment was the Lofi Girl, and If I Had Words (from Babe, 1995.)

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

here it is! the post that started a “me, an intellectual” hell frenzy, and is officially ⭐ the worst post of 2016 ⭐

you: the worst post of 2016

me, an intellectual: modern art

$122,000. And the thing is so shodily designed that the accelerator can become that easily stuck. It isn't even all one piece.

$122,000. That's more than my entire household income, and we're 3 adults with full-time jobs.

If you gave that $122,000 to Feeding America, that would provide over 1 million meals.

That's $122,000 more than Tesla paid in taxes.