The Narrative Of My Small Existence

dam…….. that website “you feel like shit” (it’s like a questionnaire / troubleshooting guide for when you feel like shit) really works………………….. im not even all the way thru it and i even half-assed a lot of the suggestions and i already feel loads better

for some reason, with this website, i was able to complete small tasks ive been fruitlessly bugging myself to do for weeks??

anyway, i feel almost good now :^)

im glad this got some notes!!!! i hope it helps y’all find some measure of peace or comfort <3

Reblogging for my own reference later, and in case it benefits anyone else reading this.

why did that guy from the backstreet boys ask "am i sexual?" and why did his friends say yes

That's just male bonding

being in yr 20s is abt experiencing the worst thing you can imagine & then having to go to the grocery store

[sobs until im physically ill] [buys greek yogurt] [repeat]

trying to find more songs for the playlist like a hunter and gatherer

pro tip about relationships, you can call them all sorts of cheesy shit and they have to sit there cause they love u. i call my bf “lover”. if i ask him “whos the cutest boy in the whole world?” he has to stand there whole six feet of grown ass man with a news anchor voice and say “i am”.

i call my very Intimidating and Hardass butch girlfriend my sweet potato and she just melts

i love everyones replies to this post but this ones the best

i love asking my cat 'what's up?' or 'what is it?' or 'what do you want?' and getting that fancy feast stare back at me. girl has no idea what she wants or what is going on she's just experiencing it

me: what's up, miss penny?

miss penny:

when people give me compliments I feel like a vending machine trying to accept a wrinkly dollar and it’s just really frustrating for everyone involved

I’ve never related to anything more in my life

There is nothing that highlights the online generational gap quite like my kids using "/pos" as a tone tag in the family group chat to indicate "positive," and everyone over the age of 25 continuing to read it as "piece of shit" at first.

HATE when you’re inserting your email somewhere and literally from the first letter the website is like “invalid email address” like yes i know. I’m typing it right now. My email address is obviously not just the letter ‘m’. Stop

you can’t trust MEN because they’ll act sooo nice and polite and pretend to be your best friend and snuggle up with you and look at you with their big kind eyes and then once they pull you into a false sense of security they’ll puke on your bedsheets and leave

^ man

He’s in the soup! 💕

[ID: Photos of a painted clay sculpture shaped like a plate and painted like water, with a bear's head and paws sticking out of the water. The final photo shows an actual bear in the same pose in a body of water. /End ID]

skeletons could BONE each other at a RAVEYARD and someone might tell them to get a TOMB. if i had one wish from the genie i would ask it to blow up every tesla car no matter how close they are to people

How about we agree to disagree.

Like to charge reblog to cast

You’re not casting

those are the steps, they're not options

guys what happened to tumblr user pizza?

I'm kinda scared. Their reblogs aren't anywhere.

OP, I saw that you posted this just last month but I hate to break it to you - Tumblr user pizza has been terminated. 8 years ago. For allegedly posting undisclosed weight loss pills ads (which were a scam and they also go against Tumblr's ToS).

Some people wrongly think she was terminated for her other problematic behavior, like the "n-word stories" tags she had on her blog, but I am pretty sure this was actually what got her deleted.

oh shit

How did you just notice that she was gone from the website, though, my sweet summer child? The blog was terminated in 2014!

*does that long sigh dogs sometimes do when laying on their side*