these really launched me into another dimension

your 20s are for sucking dick and traveling

I’m just sucking dick cause that’s the free option

I mean if you do it right suckin dick could take you places

every … man… believes he is Socrates and that every time a woman talks about her tried-and-true life experience it’s time to go to battle and defend the art of the argument. I’m just so….embarrassed … for them … how do you live like that…

like how do you not evolve since like 450 BC ???? How are you guys the exact same?? Embarrassing

people who suggest getting breakfast together as a hangout plan are the kind of people you want to hang onto

*sees two bees flying around my garden* me: i wonder.,. if…. they’re friends..

Avengers 4 but it’s me finding out that Thanos killed Harry Styles when he wiped out half the universe so I take that big grape down with my own two hands

Catching feelings is bullshit. I’m just eating french fries why i gotta think about kissing you? Fuck you

“girls only wear makeup and dress nice for guys!”

false. 

I just realized the Five Stages of Grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) spell out DABDA and I feel like this is Important Information

sometimes you just need to DAB DA grief away

i need a popular blog to reblog this b/c it has 8 notes and that is unacceptable 

We’re nearly halfway through 2018

big mood

ily: i love you

ilysm: i love you so much

ilybiaegslyb: i love you, bitch. i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.

Technology is amazing Duo Lingo was an app designed to help you learn languages now she’s a singer telling me not to answer my aint shit ex boyfriends calls 

9pm on a summer day is a god tier hour on planet earth

a mosquito wrote this

shout out to phones for pausing music when u unplug headphones bc im really not out here to blast waterloo by abba to a train full of people