Why do so many in vet med 'hate' doodles?

Me: Ugh, doodles

askbox: *inundated* WHAT IS WRONG WITH DOODLES?????

Me: Mistakes were made! Mayday, Mayday!

But seriously, there's a lot of factors as to why so many people in vet med have an incredible dislike of doodles. I could probably write a 10 page essay but I'm going to try to keep this short.

1- They are 'trendy', and thus come with all the problems that come along with that. Backyard breeders, unethical breeders, any doodle breeder who calls their doodles either 'purebred', 'akc registered', or uses the phrase "you get the best of both breeds" is a goddamned lying liarface... these dogs are bred purely to make money. There's rarely any health testing, almost never temperament testing. It's 'make a fluffy puppy with a cutesy name' and people are DRAWN to cute. I watched many people adopt *huskies* from the shelter because "They're so cute!" NO. BAD.

2- People are rarely prepared to handle the traits of either/any of the breeds that go into doodles, especially those mixed with working-type dogs. The number of labra- and goldendoodle owners who don't understand why their dog is always eating things is aggravating. It's because they're labs/goldens! They eat shit! It's what those breeds just DO. Most doodle owners do no research into the parent breeds at all. This means they are also unprepared for the health problems that can crop up from the parent breeds.

3- People see breeders calling these "Great family pets" and then ... don't fucking socialize or train them so now, as vet staff, we are faced with sometimes 90+ pound dogs that can't sit on command, are jumping all over us, mouthing us, or pissing themselves in terror and wanting to bite our faces off because they're so afraid of strangers. This is not the dogs' faults but it doesn't make us like them either.

4- This seems to be a bit less of an issue now, or at least less of an issue where I am, but a lot of people don't... groom them? Some breeders even specifically say to not get them seen at the groomer before they're a year old???? And people hear "non-shedding" (potentially A LIE) and then... don't.... brush them? So then they turn into a solid felted mat and they become a groomer's behaviour-nightmare-shear-it-like-a-sheep-"What do you mean you couldn't leave the hair long?!?!?!?"

5- Oh gods, the ENDLESS EAR INFECTIONS AND ALLERGIES AND GI ISSUES

So yeah, that's the quick and dirty on why "ugh, doodles"... at least it's a little shorter than a why "UGH, frenchies" would be

beep

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

Can confirm, having visited Hyder, Alaska. There are fewer than 100 people living in the town, but several pubs exist to serve the free-roaming Lumberjacks, who absolutely do not tolerate crowds. 

I entered one bar with six lumberjacks who had staked out their territory around the rather large space, and who were all drinking, but not interacting with one another. 

They did not interact with me, either, beyond a brief glance. But when I sat down at the bar, drinks started appearing in front of me, due to silent signals from lone Lumberjacks to the barman. The barman explained that the Lumberjacks only came out of the bush every few weeks, and seeing a human female was quite a novelty for them. I had to ask him to tell them to please stop sending me drinks, because I’d arrived by motorcycle, and could consume only one drink and still be able to safely and legally ride. 

More silent signals ensued, and the barman presented me with a bottle of Everclear for the road, courtesy of the Lumberjacks.

When I left the bar with my bottle, telling the bartender to give them my sincerest thanks, the Lumberjacks all filed silently out of the pub, at a safe distance behind me. 

They stood in a loosely-spaced semi-circle, and shyly waved bye-bye to me as I kick-started my motorcycle and rode off. 

Still one of the most surreal experiences of my travels.

This is cool and all, but there was talk earlier about releasing bears in a country club, and I feel like that hasn’t had any follow-through.

[ID: Tweet by fil (@VeganBruxa): cats be like I know a spot then sit on your throat. end ID.]

ah yes, lasagna

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pigen :)

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I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!

“Yeah, we hate seeing you work too!”

how does this post keep getting better