the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

this post is transcendent

You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.

Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST

No, I’m thinking of sharks.

Source: I’m a superior marine biologist

@gayiconjamesflint I’m sorry I had to

There are two types of people who are playing tears of the kingdom those who are really creative taking time to design amazing machines that can destroy any enemy in a single blast reinventing the wheel and extravagant torture devices and making it all look easy

And then there's people who's creativity starts and ends at what if I make a really long bridge

god this tickles me

(OP's tiktok here)

I'd watch a whole season of this honestly

Did You Know: if you get to the airport early enough in the morning, you can look through the big windows and watch them shovel oats and alfalfa into big troughs for the planes

I know it looks cute, but the airplanes only line up for food when their enclosure isn’t enriching enough.

that might be true of smaller airports where the planes spend more time on the ground, but at large international airports, the planes get tons of enrichment from socializing with one another and lots of exercise flying, so it’s actually fine that their enclosures aren’t much more than a space for them to rest.

If ya told me years ago, I’d have an arena chanting HE’S GAY at me in the most POSITIVE of ways, I’d say you’re crazy. It’s pretty cool to see how far we’ve come. Still more work to do. Happy Pride.

Some old art of one of my favourite games

THE TUMBLR HORSE DERBY

WELCOME TO THE FIRST TUMBLR HORSE DERBY (that i know of, anyway)

HOW TO HORSE: 🐎🐎🐎 - Vote for your FAVOURITE horse to make them go faster! (yknow, like those carnival horse derby games!) MAY THE BEST HORSE WIN

(also sample size reblog yadda yadda yadda HORSE)

looks at you

looks at you

@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized

"Be sure to shake it!" the bubble tea barista tells me but I don't. I won't. Why would I? "It mixes the sugar" maybe you want that. Maybe YOU do. To be drinking some homogenous concoction. Uniformly distributed. Each sip the same as the last. Just as sweet. Just as sweet. Just as sweet. All pointless flat indulgence. No personality. No humanity. A time-loop of your own devising, bereft of experience, sanitized of risk.

I want my first sip to be teeth-curdlingly sweet. I want the next to be horribly disappointing. I want to hunt. I want to jab my straw into pockets of substance like my ancestors stirring twigs into a bug colony. I want to raise the straw to different depths and feel something. The ocean is so far but I know what it means to rise from its syrupy dark depths into the still waters above.

I want all boba. I want no boba. I want to scoop the bubbles with my straw when the ice-rocks have been washed dry by the tide. "Be sure to shake it." Never. I want to experience every human emotion in this cup of tea. I am not a coward. I am not a sheep. My tea is still enough for pond-skaters to glide. It will not shake. Live your repetitive nothing. Live in fear of the unknown. Live your fear of change. I am choking on a boba.

SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE (2023)

Okay normally I wouldn’t reblog something like this so soon after the movie came out but I HAVE to tell y’all about this scene

According to Lord and Miller, this scene was an extremely late addition to the movie. As in, “they-had-already-released-the-first-trailer” late.

And the reason that is relevant is because a fan named Preston Mutanga, with his spare time, recreated the entire trailer in LEGO stop motion animation and posted it online after it came out.

Lord and Miller saw the perfect recreation of their trailer, thought it was brilliant, and WROTE IN A LEGO UNIVERSE SCENE in order to get this kid some screen time on one of the biggest animated films ever released.

Mind you, Lord and Miller directed and made THE LEGO MOVIE. And they thought this kid’s trailer was so incredible that instead of making a Lego scene themselves, which they very well could have, they brought him in to work on it.

So while you are watching this movie, know that an extremely cool 14-year-old is telling his friends that he got to personally animate one of the funniest jokes in one of the biggest movies ever made.

I just think that’s in-fucking-credible.

https://twitter.com/FG_Artist/status/1610065663619485696?s=20

^Here’s a link to the original trailer recreation, posted on Preston’s Twitter.

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

Anyone: Hey (asks about a special interest of mine)? Me: Becomes an unskippable cutscene

Below the poll is a series of animal images labeled A through J. A is the least close to the birds we have today; J is the closest. If you encountered these animals in the wild, which would you call birds? If you pick a higher up option, then that means you consider all the below ones birds as well - so if you pick A, then BCDEFGHIJ are all birds. If you pick J, only J is a bird.

A:

B:

C:

D:

E:

F:

G:

H:

I:

J:

PLEASE REBLOG THIS SO IT CAN LEAVE PALAEOBLR. I NEED PEOPLE WHO DON'T RECOGNIZE THESE ANIMALS ON SIGHT TO VOTE.

I apologize to all of y'all with vision impairments for whom this poll is inaccessible. Alas, this is an experiment, and I cannot name the taxa. Thank you.

All alt text includes artist attribution; I did not make these pictures myself.

Help save mature forests in the US

Here’s the link for my followers! It’s super easy— all it needs is your name and an email address.