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Stories & Sass

@winkswordswonder / winkswordswonder.tumblr.com

I want meaning. Growth & reflection. With attitude. (She/ella) Communist. Miami vibes. Old soul. Somos màs. 🇵🇷♋️
💸$: soulbeneath
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Had my review day three weeks ago. Boss Lady sat down with me to go over it a week and a half later. We started, and I’m glad Boss Lady’s Boss sat down with us because Boss Lady and I would’ve just gone in circles entirely. So her boss took over. Essentially we went over all the answers to my self evaluation. “I have not done anything in particular to move forward and no I’m not ready for the next level.” That was my answer. He asked why I said that.

“Well, isn’t it in regards to moving up to kitchen manager?” Yes, he said. “Well I don’t wanna do that.”

I told him bc 1 it’s more responsibility I don’t want and 2 there’s too many toxic personalities back there that I know I couldn’t deal with. He asked for names, and I refused to say. Boss Lady filled in with a few names, she forgot two but I wasn’t going to have this conservation.

He asked why I didn’t have any mentors or role models at work. Cuz I fucking don’t. He asked how I provide feedback to other managers. I said, I scold and yell at them and ask questions with aggression. Why? Bc last I checked, I get paid to manage servers, bartenders, bussers , not fellow colleagues who are paid the same amount if not more than me. How do you think they receive that message? 🤷🏽‍♀️ that’s not my problem. (What I should’ve said is that’s how my general manager provides her feedback, I’m emulating what I’m given)

I eventually told him, I have only so much emotional energy when I’m here, and I ensure I give my best to deal with customers and handle my subordinates. I don’t have enough to also babysit my colleagues. “What motivates you, Y?” I said, I honestly don’t know, bc if I did- I wouldn’t be here.

He said, “well, it’s not fair to you or to your team if you’re not happy and giving it 100%. We should meet next week and start a plan for your exit, move forward, with whatever you want.” I said okay. My anniversary is in October. I’m not making it that far.

Boss Lady said, there’s no doubt you’re a hard worker and have great work ethic, but your leadership development isn’t there. She asked how I develop my subordinates and I said I do shift reviews. “But you don’t follow up.” And I said, “no.” I’m thinking- not a lot of other managers follow up either, so why is this my kryptonite? But I said nothing.

What I gathered from this sit down is that it doesn’t matter that I have not a single negative review from a customer in the archives, that most servers, hosts, and bussers prefer when I’m on the floor bc they know even though I’m strict- shit gets done and they’ll get help, that my closed are clean, that my opens are good and ran well. The quality of the execution of the shift doesn’t matter at all, because I have no passion to move up, and I don’t invest in the cult. Heard.

Once I say shit out loud and make a decision, it’s final. So now I work these days with even less effort. And I’m just ready to fucking go. And I’m even more depressed as fuck.

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all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary all of this is temporary

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asneakyfox

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

btw this is maybe the single most key distinguishing feature of the terfy strains of radical feminism, the seed all the rest of it springs out of: they have absolutely no faith in the ability of feminism to actually destroy patriarchy. they do not think feminism can truly build a better world. they cannot really even imagine that possibility. they think patriarchy is an inevitable natural consequence of unchangeable biological facts, and therefore the goal of feminism can only be to mitigate the worst effects of patriarchy, not to get rid of it.

they can imagine a society where women get some designated safe spaces without men around. they cannot imagine a society where the presence of men is not inherently a danger to women.

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I hate when we’re both depressed and in a bad mood. Fucks up all the fucking plans for today. All of them.

I finished the house chores but we were either going to the movies or to the arcade. And then out for dinner. And now none of that is happening. And then I have to go be miserable at work again tomorrow. This is not how I wanted to spend my day. Not at all.

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amindamazed

transcript of video by TikTok account thatannamarie from early December 2021

-begin transcript

Here's a word that every queer person should know: homonationalism is not the name of my new synth-pop album. It's a concept from sociology that acknowledges how queer people are used in conversations about global politics.

Homonationalism is when we use LGBT rights as a yardstick to judge how "moral" a society is. It's short for "homonormative nationalism"—say that five times fast—and it was first coined by Jasbir Puar to describe how the US presented itself as LGBT-friendly to contrast itself to "homophobic" Muslims during the War on Terror. It can also be applied to other contexts, like the way we talk about homophobic countries in Africa or the Caribbean while ignoring the role of European colonialism in those regions.

Put a finger down if you've ever heard something like:

  • You know being gay is a crime in Ghana, right?
  • Those Middle Eastern countries are so backwards. Do you know what they do to gay people over there?

Oh it's so weird. [Looks around as if hearing something from outside the room.] My neighbor's dog is going crazy...

You know you've lost the plot when you're talking about homophobia among Muslims, when white American Christians are the ones who made gay marriage illegal, ignored the entire AIDS crisis, and to this day don't have any national policies regarding conversion therapy, a trans-panic defense, or the forcing of trans women into men's prisons and vice-versa.

Barbados just became free of British rule this week; we should not be shocked if they have some homophobic policies.

And while I obviously believe that a more moral society is one with robust protections for queer people, LGBT rights can't be used to judge other countries, to make us feel better about bombing them.

As an aside, I live in Connecticut, an American state where it gets dark at 4pm now, and where LGBT rights are actually pretty good. We were one of the first states to institute gay marriage, transgender health care is part of our state insurance, and we're just generally more legally protected here.

And yet while legal support is very robust in our state, there's very little cultural support. Homophobia and transphobia in day-to-day life is roughly as bad as any other part of the country, and we have no gay cultural infrastructure. Only enough gay bars to count on one hand, and no known queer meeting spaces otherwise. It's obviously not as bad as living in a place where being gay is a crime, but it's still pretty lonely out here.

So for a variety of reasons, I don't appreciate queer and trans people being used as a pawn to further Islamophobia, anti-African sentiment, and general xenophobia. Mainly because it's racist and ignorant; many of these countries have a long, rich history of queer and trans and nonbinary identities before white European colonizers showed up, but also because western "acceptance" of LGBTQ people is very conditional and very limited in terms of material and legal protection.

White supremacy wins when we pit queer people and people of color against each other. We need international solidarity and an acknowledgment of colonialism to achieve equality and equity.

-end transcript

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