SLURP THAT GURT

zaydie bernie highlights from #jwitter

plus, very niche bonus:

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

@tabbran please add lemon man story to this

PRESENTING LEMON MAN

That was a wild goddamn ride

god this was worth the read

Yes this is long but I promise you the story of lemon man is worth knowing. And reblogging.

What a ride

I summoned a shitload of willpower to continue this despite my ADD. WORTH IT

l e m o n m a n

Lemon man: ALL women and GAY MEN cannot do SHIT they are all USSELESS and yalls business will FAIL unless you have a MAN in CHARGE

jj: lmao what

Lemon man: what???? huh?????? u triggered?????????

jj: whatever you say lemon man

lemon man:

Nice ending for this…

World Heritage Post

Actually life is beautiful because the sound I make while trying to breathe around hot food sounds like my dog trying to eat an apple. When I yawn my cat tries to put his face in my mouth like a little dentist man and when he yawns I put my finger in his obligate-carnivore trapzone and we both know he will not hurt me. When I do not fold my clothes, they do not hold it against me.

I am demonstrably sad, and lonely, and full of fear. But there are other people who will hold my hand, who will point out the hawk overhead, who will give you That Look in a public place. The other day at a coffee shop a child said "look! It's snowing!" so all of us strangers went to go look out the windows. It wasn't the first snow and it won't be the last but wasn't it lovely, like that?

How wonderful to live in a world where birds and frogs both say beep! How wonderful to have an ocean of beautiful sharks with their dinosaur teeth! How wonderful the moon and her changing face, how wonderful the bees and their dancing to communicate, how wonderful shrimp and their forbidden layers of vision! How wonderful, you, and what you will give the world! The way we love things enough to spend entire blogs devoted to them? How people will let me explain my Pokemon team to them? How we will both jump at the scare in the movie, how we laugh so loudly, how it feels to give someone your baking? How wonderful to be alive. I am sorry for forgetting.

This is the process of getting better. With wonderful people and wonderful strangers and wonderful friends: I am getting better, slowly. Thank you, whoever you are. In some way, you've been wonderful, and left a wonderful place in the world to ripple out to me. In some small way - isn't it beautiful - I promise, you've been helping.

"How wonderful to be alive. I am sorry for forgetting."

honestly i think we should just start reacting to people without masks like they reacted to socks in monsters inc

how dare you be funnier than me

Can I offer a coping meme in this trying time?

Funny how gay people are allowed to love being gay but trans people aren’t allowed to love being trans or else they’re faking 🤔

WHAT I MEAN is both gay and trans people are made to feel like predatory freaks, they both face extreme bigotry from people outside the community that causes terrible feelings of self hatred and internalized prejudice. And yet its normalized for gay people to feel immense pride and happiness over their identity, while the idea “no one would ever want to be trans” is deeply ingrained into the trans community. We’re expected to hate ourselves and we’re expected to wish we weren’t trans. But that mindset is just a symptom of self-loathing and internalized transphobia. We should be able to love ourselves, we should be able to have that same ammount of pride as cos gays, we should be able to say “yeah being trans can suck a lot sometimes! But it’s a part of who I am!” We should be allowed to not want to chang ourselves on such a fundamental level, because it’s okay to be trans. If gay people can feel pride in being gay without being called fakers then so should trans people.

Hey I would appreciate if people reblogged this version instead cause yall like to put words in my mouth

The "nobody: " meme irreparably damaged internet comedy

*eats a croissant over your grave and leaves the crumbs there (disrespectful action)*

Okay in my house we have a strange tradition. My mother builds this beautiful Christmas village.

It wraps all around our house through the rooms and under the trees and it’s wonderful.

Every year she hides the Christmas Vampire

This started when I was a very small got child and spread to all of my friends, including my best friend from elementary school who I just so happened to grow up and marry. Now that we have grown up and moved nearly 600 miles away we still always go home for a week at Christmas for multiple reasons, including the Christmas Vampire.

Needless to say we still partake and things have gotten heated.

Stay tuned for the epic conclusion and to see my husband and father in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sooty costume when I find the Christmas Vampire First!

Happy Haunting!

Dad has no fricken clue how to trash talk and I don’t trust him in the slightest.

The saga continues. Mom hasnt finished the village yet and it’s starting to get to her….

Hahahaha, I mean I love this on multiple levels.  But what really threw it over the top was the mom’s anxiety over the world-building and city design being right.  I feel you vampire-hiding mom, I feel you.

can I just say that the Christmas Vampire is infinitely preferable to the Elf on the Shelf

Christmas town looks amazing, how much is the rent?

My mom has started constructing the village, and she would like you to know that the rent in the Christmas village is pay what you can and it can be in Christmas cookies. This village is very anti capitalist and when the Walmart moved in (my dad bought her a ceramic walmart) the villagers protested (read this as my mom made teeny tiny picket signs and stuck them to villagers hands)

OP was the picket successful did they run the walmart out of town? I need to know. I am so concerned. Does the vampire live in town? Is he a beloved yet eccentric member of the populace, or do the townsfolk live in fear of him? Does his bat have a warm place to sleep during winter?

The picket is on going. This year they are all socially distanced. The vampire lives on the mountain in an old house. No one fears him but there is a story every year. 2 years ago he frightened the carnival worker who operated the merry go round, gave him a heart attack and he was in the hospital! The vampire was so scared he fled and there was a man hunt (because everyone was afraid for their friend and also insurance) …. My mom might be insane his bat is always with him and has a wing of the house to himself

I love this

For every one asking the protestors have changed their target in the village this year

john mulaney has checked into rehab. here’s what we are going to do:

• support him

• wish him well

• respect his privacy

here’s what we are NOT going to do

• make jokes because addiction is not funny

• speculate anything about his marriage or personal life

• attack those in his personal life (*ahem, leave anna alone. don’t go asking pete davidson for details. none of that)

addiction is a serious disease, and while this news may be troubling, i am so proud of him for seeking help. you can too.

you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

Many people in the comments are saying “trauma”, but this is actually a very normal occurrence. It’s called Childhood Amnesia, and it’s a process which, as the brain reorganizes itself for cognitive thought that is developed in late childhood, it changes the Accessibility of those memories during recall. Many childhood memories are available to the person, but they will not be remembered during regular recall activity, you have to “trick” your brain into remembering with different tactics.

This is because there are two parts to memories - their encoding and their recall. The encoding determines their availability, their recall determines their accessibility. The reason why trauma memory and childhood amnesia are different is in this distinction. Trauma memory is often encoded differently, bypassing to the limbic system where it is stored as intrinsic memory. It can’t be recalled because it was never encoded. Childhood amnesia, however, seems to indicate that the memories are encoded, but we lose access to them as we age. This is most likely due to the development of brain structures that fundamentally change our encoding and recall of memory as we get older.

This is an important distinction, because trauma memory is “stored in the body”, i.e. you get triggers that send your body into a cascade of uncontrollable feelings, sensations and reactions. Whereas childhood memories won’t generally do that, they are just recalled at odd times with odd associations.

reblogging this because I’ve legit seen people freaking out when they realised they can’t remember some of their childhood, thinking they might have some repressed trauma.

So you mean my brain literally looked at my whole childhood and said “sorry that file type is no longer supported”

Abawashded/hello my name is destry, I am Nakota sioux from treaty six territory in so called alberta Canada.

I am 21 years old, I’m two spirit/trans and I struggle with chronic illnesses, am disabled and am currently in between places for housing.

I currently can’t work a proper job in order to support myself because of my health so I could use some help financially.

It is Columbus Day so consider donating to me or any other indigenous folks you see today.

Here is my PayPal:

Hey y’all, it’s getting to the end of the month and I’m tight on some things I need until I can get paid on the first, please donate if you can to help out!

Finally, after almost 5 years of not dancing, I did a presentation for some kids at a school. That dress is arguably the only dress I willingly wear and enjoy wearing. It’s called Jingle dress dancing, and it’s for healing. Each jingle on that dress holds a prayer for someone, and each time they hit together while dancing, it’s the prayer being sent up asking to be answered. If a jingle falls off during a dance, it’s considered to be that that one particular prayer was heard and answered.

maybe if i post Fat fuck ill calm down.

did it work

yea :)

maybe if i reblog Fat fuck ill calm down.